[bills0301]

Gwen: My wife and I fell in love with a friends foster child. She doesn't want to adopt him but we are really praying about it. He mentioned to me that when he graduates from high school the Washington DC foster care system will pay for him to get a college education, is this true. Also, how would I go about telling our friend that we are interested in adopting her foster child if he is eligible for adoption? How do we find out if he is eligible for adoption?

[Gwen]

The county agency in which the child (or teen) should be able to help.
However, your friend may be the best place to start. If you think she will be open enough to talking about you adopting (if that it even a possiblity) she will no who to talk to and whre to start.
If you are not foster parents or possible adoption parents, there will be a long process that you will need to start.
Hope this helps

[SWRobb]

Once a child is adopted resources that were available would conclude. In your area, I am uncertain of that rule.
However, some things you could consider. Most adoptions from foster care come with a subsidy, simply place the subsidy into a savings account and you will have the childs tuition paid for.
I know a few FP who have done this for the child they were adopting.
Also, for children in the foster care system or who have been there are scholarships they qualify for such as the Pell grant.


As for stating your interest, I'd approach the foster parents if you feel comfortable and express your interest. One of the most pleasant cases I had as a case worker was a family who did that very thing. They knew the foster family, started baby sitting etc. with the child and fell in love. They then expressed their interest in the child. They had already started the process with the agency to become adoptive parents. We took the needed steps to make them foster parents, moved the child to their home with the understanding that the child was not free yet for adoption and their was some risk involved. Eventually, the child was freed for adoption and they quickly adopted shortly thereafter. It is one of the stories I have that keep me going in child welfare.


Rob

[dadfor2]

if there your friends..just ask them....whats the harm. do they want to adopt this child?

as for college, i beilieve adopted children that were in the system do have state colleges tution paid for.

dadfor2

[bills0301]

Thanks everyone for replying. I have contacted his social worker, basically he told me it is up to the child if he wants to be adopted or not because his goal has changed. However, my wife and I went to the adoption/fp orientation class and are scheduled to start the training in August. In the mean time the child has asked me to adopt him on many occasions, I have not told him that we have started the classes or anything to get his hopes up. I am still working up the courage to talk with his foster mother. I guess I have a fear that she may feel a little slighted because we want to adopt him. But in the orientation they said fp no that the child is not in their care permenantly so I probably have nothing to be fearful of except fear itself.

I will keep the forum posted as time goes by.

Again thanks for the responses.
Bill

[Gwen]

I can understand your fear.....foster parents are parents none the less....they have feelings and love the children
You should however remember that foster parents can often be t out of the loop and surprises in the childrens lives are not fun. So when you get the courage, tell her, so you make sure she does not find out from some one else......
Best Wishes
Gwen

[SWRobb]

You should discuss it with the Foster Parent. The foster parent has the first right to adopt the child.
However, if the child is over 14 they do have a say in regards to being adopted and by whom.
I suspect that the child may have already discussed the desire with the foster parent.
I would simply go to the foster parent and state to them that you are interested in adopting however you would want to know how they feel about adopting the child/are they interested in doing so.
I would also hope that since you contacted the SW they would tell you that the FP was interested in adopting. Instead of starting you with the adoption process.


Rob

[bills0301]

thank again,

The SW didn't say anything about the fp wanting to adopt the child. However, the child asked me for the third time in about a month would I consider adopting him, he doesn't want the fp to adopt him. I didn't give him an answer because I don't want to really get his hopes up. However, my wife and I are going to persue adopting him. We start our classes in August. As for the FP I will talk with her very soon.

Thanks again for the encouragement to persue this and talk with the foster parent.

bills

[PinkRibbon]

I don't understand why you haven't discussed this with your friends yet. It seems like you're going behind their back. Teenagers can be master manipulators and some are experts at triangulating adults. It seems like there's a missing piece here.

[bills0301]

There is no missing piece. I just like to do reseach before I do anything. I am very cautious when dealing with peoples lives.

thanks