[seashel]

We have had 2 fd's who are siblings since feb. They are 4 and 2. The 4 yr old has RAD the 2 yr old does not. Is it okay to parenting them differently? We have been reading and using the techniques from Nancy Thomas's book "When Love is Not Enough". I am worried that our 4 yr old fd will think that we are not being fair. Any help or advise would really be appreciated.

[lucyjoy]

Even if you parented them exactly the same, a child with RAD would think it was unfair. If you do not parent them differently, your four year old will not heal. If you're using Nancy Thomas(which I love), I would reccommend also reading the book she wrote with her daughters-Dandelion on my Pillow, Butcher Knife beneath. I think the more nurturing side of the parenting is brought out better in that book. Just my opinion. I would also incorperate a lot of reparenting techniques with a child as young as four. With a good therapist and the right parenting, she has the potential to heal quickly. She needs a loving, strong mom and good structure.