[jamie3]

What are some organizational techniques or whatever little tips you have on managing a large family? My family grew from 5 to 7 overnight and we are having to learn how to make our lives easier.

I am learning about cooking bigger meals and keeping the washing machine running. What else can make things easier?

[mckenna]

my family is only 3, but i am the only adult, so i can tell you what works for us.

-make crock pot meals

-we have a two story, so i keep a laundry basket with pj's, socks, undies and daycare clothes and shoes for both kids in there so i don't have to keep running up and down.

- i keep a three tiered rubbermaid drawer unit with bath and diaper supplies on the first floor

- i try to tidy/clean one room of the house a day, so it doesn't all pile up on the weekends

- we go out to dinner one night a week, makes us all a little happier

- i grocery shop every other week and get walmart supplies (detergents, bath items ect) in bulk so i don't have to get that stuff more than once every month or two.

[bumpkin]

I just love these posts..... We are looking to adopt a sib group of possibly 3 and have one at home, so it will be a big change. I'm looking forward to these responses.

Also wanted to add a request for handling children who are sharing rooms, any good ideas to make this go more smoothly?

Best
Bumpkin

[DianeS]

A friend of mine has 5 children, and she swears by cooking all her meat on the day she purchases it. It really saves her time when she cooks the daily meals.

She goes to the grocery store and comes back with, say, 5 lbs of chicken breast, 3 lbs of ground beef, and some fish fillets. All the chicken gets laid out on a baking sheet and cooked. Some gets shredded, some gets cubed, and some is left whole. THEN it is all re-packaged and frozen. Same with the beef - all of it is cooked, some crumbled and some left in patties. Then repackaged and frozen.

All of that can be done at once, in an hour and a half after returning home from shopping, while she's unloading the rest of the groceries.

Yes, some meals call for things mixed in before cooking, but those she knows about ahead of time so she can do it the day after shopping, so she never has to freeze and defrost raw meat.

Her children also share rooms, and she says it's important to make a difference between sharing rooms and sharing stuff. Each of her children has their own bed, dresser, desk, toy box, shelves, and closet (in some cases it's a purchased wardrobe, if the closet isn't definately dividable).

Children are permitted to purchase their own locks, if they don't trust their roommate or another sibling. Parents purchase the locks if the sibling has been shown to have actually stolen something of the other child's. Children are responsible for the keys - parents keep the extra key to everything, but charge $$ or chores if they are requested to unlock something because the child lost the key. It stays unlocked until the child purchases a new lock or pays the parent to make a copy of the key.

She color-codes some items, like white socks. It's just a line of colored thread stitched into the toe, but it prevents squabbles over who left their socks in the floor.

[BigDogMom]

I love the sock idea! My FS and my husband have the same size socks and we were just talking about that yesterday. I'm going to do that. Just a little stich on the toe, I like it.

We have bath times divided so four bath at night before bed and two bath in the morning before breakfast.
We all eat together at the dinner table
Each person has a job to do each day.
One takes out trash
One takes care of the dishes
One (our two year old) is in charge of passing out the doggy treats to our dogs
One is in charge of setting and clearing the table before and after meals.
Each child is responsible for picking up after themselves.
Each person puts their laundry in the laundry room but I do all the washing. ( I'm picky about my laundry)
Beds are made each morning by their occupants

If the children want extra privileges they can volunteer to help with the vacuuming, window washing, or yard work.
If a child wants to watch a T.V. show they have to help fold laundry while it is on ( I fold laundry and watch T.V.)

Our system is working for now but I haven't fit our bathroom chores in there yet so I scrub the bathrooms myself twice a week when I find the time.

God Bless

[jamie3]

Four of my 4 kids are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Two of them are in high school and 2 are in preschool. I have let the high school kids get away with not helping much around the house because they are soooo involved in everything. I think however that I am going to have them come home during the 45 min. break they have between school and softball and unload and load the dishwasher and maybe start a load of clothes or something. The little ones have started feeding the dogs and helping me set the table. The 9 year old is carrying out the trash and dusting some.

The teens have been doing their own laundry for years. As soon as they hit jr. high, they got to take that over. I just need them to do that for themselves. I guess house isn't going to be perfect with this many people living here.

[vonda1975]

My husband & I have a total of 5 girls, ages 17, 16, 13, 10 & 8.

The most important way that I keep organized is every month I print out a calendar & keep it on the fridge. That is how we know what everyone is doing so that activities don't interfere with each other. The teenagers are responsible for writing their own schedules on the calendar. Whenever I schedule appointments, I almost always schedule them in the morning because there's to much going on in the afternoon.

I also keep a weekly chore chart on the fridge. Every girl has a daily chore and a weekly chore. It begins on Monday. For they're weekly chore, they have all week to have it done. If it's not done by Sunday morning, instead of sleeping in, I wake them up at 7:30 am to do their weekly chore. In the summer, the 2 oldest girls plan and cook a meal 1 day per week.

[kerry lynn]

I went from 2 kids, to 4 kids instantly...thanks to having twins. The work involved with a larger family IS staggering, isn't it??? Mine are still young: 10, 6 and just-turned 3....so chores are a bit hard right now. What helps me the most is making a week's list of dinners. I base my grocery shopping list on the things I need for those dinners, and I'm never stuck at 5:00 wondering, "WHAT am I going to make?"

[Gwen]

What great ideas.
I colour code things by purchase. My daughter is pink towels, pink sock bottoms and etc, my son grey, the other son blue. My teenage fd tends to keep things seperate.
One of the best things I purchased was one of those huge office desk calendars...colour coded children and put it in the kitchen so every one can see..
Another thing that works for me, is to unload their lunch pails right when they get home and b4 they enter the door, I have all the supplies for the next day lunch ready to place in.
Casseroles, casseroles and more.
The sharing a bedroom, I have had to limit what they keep in their for space purposes so I keep only books, special toys and blankets.
All the best

[jamie3]

I have learned that setting the table is not a necessity; it is a hassle! We now stack the plates next to the stove and only set conditments and silverware on the table. We don't carry the food over there so there is less clutter during the meal. There is no passing and no reaching. If someone wants seconds, they go get them. As each person leaves the table they load their dishes in the dishwasher. That leaves very little cleanup for supper. It has really helped me a lot!

I also purchased a cloth laundry hamper for the boys that has three sections. When the little ones get in the tub I immediately sort the clothes they take off(whites, colored, and jeans). My 9 year old can sort his own into the same hamper. When I want to start a load I just grab whatever is in the fullest section. I want to get another one for dh and me to use! When they are getting low on socks I know where they all are and I don't have to sort everything to get to what I need.

[Mammie]

Boy can I relate!

It was just my husband and myself then wham! Three boys! I am learning short cuts everyday (some trial and error, some seasonal) Here are a few of mine!

Get school clothes or church outfits out the night before. Saves on time and arguments.

Use laundry baskets or milk crates to throw toys in. You can then place them in the designated area or stash them in the bedrooms.

Before going to bed, grab a basket and do a fast run through the kitchen and livingroom - and throw everything that does not belong there in it. The next day, you can take your time putting things up or assign that chore to someone!

Keep a sink full of soapy water for fast clean ups and quick dish cleaning.

Take 5-15 minutes a day and clean out a drawer or cupboard. Just one! You can do it while you are on the phone, making breakfast, during a commerical or waiting to use the bathroom. This makes a big difference!

Hanes socks are color coded by size and sex on the bottom of the foot. Hanes boys underwear are color coded by size on the waistband. What a time saver for laundry folding!

For hand me down clothes, when the oldest gets something, I take a washable marker and put a little dot on the tag. When it gets handed down to the second child, I put a second dot. If it makes it to the third child, I put a third dot.

I swear by my slow cooker! And it smells so good to come home to! Make a double batch and freeze half. Then on those days that you are really busy, just pop out a meal and nuke it!

Hope this helps!

[MelissaG]

This may not fit into the topic but I'm just looking for some guidance and support.
We are a family of 3, my husband and I have one bio daughter. We did just finish our classes the end of March and received our license the beginning of April, to be able to take up to 3 additional children. Since April we have had four children placed (at different times) in our home. We still have two of them, so we have gone from a family of 3 to a family of 5 in less then 2 months time. I guess where I'm going with this is, of course, things have gotten alittle caotic at times but how do you vent your frustrations or concerns without anyone questioning your ability to care for these children or without someone looking at it as a weakness? I am affraid we're suffering in silence because we're unsure of what someone might say. I love our kids and would do anything for them but I also don't want to wear myself or my patience too thin to where I end up giving up.
If anyone knows who we might get in touch with that might know what we're going thru, We'd greatly appreciate it
Thank you in advance.
Melissa

[dadtomany]

Melissa,
I don't know who you can talk to about this. I just want to say that I understand how you feel, your frustration and concerns because, I feel the same way. I feel that if I complain then people will look upon me badly. My husband and I have 3 boys of our own at home and we have 3 F Daughters that we have had for a little over 2 months. It is very hard most of the time. The girls are always complaining about each other and trying to pull myself and my husband in the middle of it. My laundry baskets are always full, our grocery bill has doubled, we never seem to have any personal time for each other, our oldest son is 16 and came home a little late on friday about 10 min late meanwhile 2 of the girls came home, and did not sit and wait for 5 min for someone to get home but instead went to a friends house, called their school to tell them no one was home. So belive me you are not alone in needing to vent. We also care about these girls just as you care about your foster children, but when you are trying to jump in the middle and start raising someone else's children it is very hard. Maybe there is a foster parent association in your area. I know that my husband and I need to get involved locally to vent our concerns and frustations to fellow F parents. My husband and I have really taken to this site for much of our recent issues. It seems to help, but to have someone face to face in the same situations to talk with would be much more helpful. Hope that this helps and gives you some encouragement to endure and we send prayers your way. Thanks for putting your thread out there to show me that I am not the only one feeling this. Thanks, Tequila

[Tequila]

Sorry Melissa, I logged on under my husbands account. I am Tequila, "tequila" momtomany not dadtomany .

[kerry lynn]

I responded to this thread not as a Foster Parent, but as a parent to 4 children. Large families, especially in a day where most couples feel burdened with the stress of 1 or 2 kids, is a rarity where I live. We get looks like: "couldn't you STOP?!?" As if I had control having twins! So although my experience is different, it is also the same in that having so many mouths, personalities and LOADS OF LAUNDRY to keep up with, well... it's unlike anything a family of "just" 4 can relate to. <sigh> Support Groups sound like a really great idea, provided one can actually find the time & means to attend one. I, myself, have found different Forums and e-mail buddys who have become great support systems. I also have made friends with some of the very few mothers around my area who have large families. Our problems, stresses and demands are not what most people experience, so to think a mother to 1 or 2 kids in school full-time can relate to a house that is NEVER empty, well, that's like expecting to discuss pregnancy and child birth to a man. It simply will never be understood. And if there's one thing we need, it is to be understood! No matter HOW one ends up within a large family, I have realized that it is a Calling and a profound Blessing. But, sometimes we can be cursed by our blessings! Finding others who truly understand and relate to your situation is really a great start to a healthy and realistic attitude. Whether those people are found through the internet, a group, or a friend of a friend...it is a tremendous gift to YOURSELF to have another person to vent to , laugh with, and cry for. Isn't it amazing how in a house with so many, one can truly feel alone????