[hope21]

Hello again all! I hope everything is going well with you and your families. I just wanted some advice from you guys on how you handle it when just about every week the plan seems to change about whether your child will stay with you or not.

I have had my 2 yr old foster daughter for just a month but she has already made incredible strides in our home. Some of you may remember my post "foster daughter doesn't like me". Well, she went from backing into a corner screaming if I came near- to her running to me when I come in the room, snuggling with me whenever she can, and wanting to copy everything I do. As a family, my husband, my FD, and I are just really becoming a solid little group. I want to keep her forever!!

Meanwhile it seems with each court date another possibility presents itself of kinship placements (distant relatives), reunifications etc. I know DCFS is wanting to absolutely terminate mom's rights but I also know they would prefer that my FD and one of her siblings stay together. We are unable to take the sibling because of the size of uor home. In fact, if they could have allowed it we would take him in a heartbeat.

There are just so many ups and downs all the time. How do you handle it when you so want to have them forever???


Thanks again!!

[Dark Fate]

I just want to wish you the best in all this.
Please know my thoughts and prayers will be with you
And if you ever need a friend feel free to pm me.
Thanks.

[jodyk]

hope 21,
I know how you feel. When I first got my fs, they told me he was on a permanent court ward petition & they planned to terminate the biomom's rights. After I'd had him for several months, suddenly, the biomom asked for & got visitation. After 8 months with me, he was reunited w/biomom, her boyfriend & their baby.

Four months later, he came back into care & back to me. His 1/2 sister followed a few weeks later. (She's in a different foster home 'cause, as a single fm, I knew I couldn't handle 2 babies). When they first came back into care, the goal was reunification. It has since turned to permanent custody again, and my cw just got the referee's recommendation to file the pcw petition, which she will do by the end of the month. This is not to say that he might not go back again.

I, too, want to adopt my fs, should he become available. I try to remember that each day he's with me, I'm giving him a good, happy, healthy, stable life where he's safte. As he gets older (he's 28mo), he'll remember more & more of what I'm teaching him, & hopefully, it will stay with him. I try not to look too far into the future; I take each 90 day chunk of time (the time between hearings) as it comes & do the best I can with it.

Just love your little girl when she's with you & try not to worry about "what if". I know that's not much, but it's the only way to protect yourself -- and her -- while still loving her & giving her the family she deserves.