[Faith41]

Has anyone lost an older child back into the system. I had my foster daughter whom I was going to adopt for almost two years. She is now 13.5 years old. They made her an orphan of the state. She was removed from her previous foster home before me and placed with me at age 11. She had alot of issues and I had to fight to get help for her with very little to no help from the social workers. My daughter has been in a total of 8 placements since she was 9 years old. I hired an attorney to get defacto status and lost. They told me I was to have no further contact with my daughter because I have no legal rights. My daughter has called and asks for help and for me not to give up on her. I believe they have fought me so hard because I know the system and the law since I am a therapist and have worked in the system as a county social worker in the past. I also got emotional when my daughter was first hospitalized and the social worker were not supportive at all. My daughter's rights have been so violated and they want me to stay quiet and keep me from her. They built a case against me where there isn't any. My attorney cannot believe what has happened and that we lost a child to the system for good. My fear is because of her mental and emotional instability, her total disconnection with the outside world and anyone who cares about her and drugged out of her mind - we may end up losing her totally. Does anyone have any further suggestions? I have even gone to the state with my concerns as well as several other individuals who know myself and my daughter. Three therapist have also written letters to the court and all were ignored. This has been a total nightmare. Here I am trying to help an older child who will be very difficult to manage and has had several abandonment issues which the system just intensified. Please I would appreciate any responses since I have been dealing with this for 6 months already.

[riley6]

DCFS is on a power trip! They have unlimited resources and DON'T care about this child!

I guess my question is why did they remove the child from your home? On what grounds did you lose the de facto staus? Since you had her for 2 yrs, it should have been granted.

I would call the governer's office. Hearmyvoice also is an advocate group that may be able to help you. I think they are at .org, but it may be .com.

Good luck to you. Please let us know how it goes! I'm praying for you right now.

[jolean12]

Please don't give up on this child, you are all she has! Get anyone you can involved and since they are already against you, you may want to think about going to the media...somehow that always seems to make people move. Please keep us posted and I will be praying for her and for you.

[jodyk]

Jolean's suggestion is good. Also, you might go to a lawmaker -- a senator, a house representative -- who's known to care about children's issues.

[Faith41]

Thank you for your responses. They removed my foster daughter when she first go sick and hospitalized in the mental hospital about six months ago. Then they said she couldn't return home but needed further evaluation and to give me a break - so for 2.5 months she went back and forth between our home and another foster home, when I told them enough is enough this is too hard on her they made the decision to totally remove her. Since she has been taken she ended up in the hospital three more times telling me she couldn't handle the stress of her life anymore and needed to see me. The other things they said to build a case against me was that they witnessed my foster daughter kiss me good-bye on the lips and that she would cling onto me too much - as I said there really wasn't a case and my attorney couldn't believe the outcome he really thought we had it. As for going to the media (newspapers and t.v.) I have gone there but have been told by the newspaper because it is an isolate case they cannot do it. The t.v. station hasn't returned my responses. But I also found out for another attorney that mine is not an isolated case. No one seems to want to take on this because it is foster care system. As for going to the governor I am not sure where to start or who exactly to write to. I have several documentations - court papers and letters from others showing their concerns. I feel like I am at a dead end now very frustrated and very fearful. In alot of ways my foster daughter is slipping away very quickly - both her mental, emotional and physical health are not good. The system has left her with no hope and has fought me all the way.

[jolean12]

I think you need to show up at your local TV station and demand to speak to whoever is in charge, nicely....at first anyway. The news media will never not want to air a story like this b/c they love to let out the juice. Call the governors office and you will get to ask his secretary how to contact him directly.

What state are you in? This may be of help for people giving you information. Does this child have a CASA? You should also have a child advocacy group in your area that is not affiliated with the state and you need to contact them.

This little girl is so lucky to have someone like you fighting for her, please don't give up......bang on doors and knock them down if you can.

[Faith41]

Thank you for all your responses. My foster daughter found a way to sneak in another call to me tonight. I was able to give her another attorney's phone number who wants to help her. She wrote it down. I hope and pray they don't take it from her and allow her to have her right to call him. As they noticed she was talking to me they told her to get off the phone - she cried and didn't want to go. I told her to keep the hope and faith and not give up. I also finally found a name through my attorney of a congressmen in the county that this has all happened and found out they have another case just like my daughter's and mine. I also called the governer's office. Hopefully with all of this my daughter can have more hope, help and contact with the people who actually love her. My daughter has problems because of everything she has gone through but she also has a heart of gold. If there are any other suggestions or advice I would love to hear them. Thank you.

[jolean12]

Sounds like she is a smart girl too. I believe that she will get a hold of that attorney because she wants to and she seems to be able to get things done. If you get to talk to her again ask if she called that attorney or if they didn't allow it. If that is the case then she will definately have a case against the state for not allowing her to contact an attorney...she has that right.

Keep fighting and I am sending prayers and faith your way. Please keep us posted.

[Faith41]

My foster daughter called again yesterday 1/5/03. It was a quick phone call. I am very worried she is sounding so depressed and as if she is giving up. They have kept her so isolated from everyone who cares about her. I have also spoken to her bio-grandmother who my foster daughter has not seen in over 6 months. We both are so worried about her. I continue to call the attornies, the state and the casa worker but the process is so slow. I'm asking for alot of prayers that my foster daughter makes it through this time in her life. She has had some much disappointment and the system has failed her so badly. I have also considered the media but I would have to take more time off of work to go to their doors since I have not received any phone calls back. I am trying to do everything step by step and legally so not to miss anything I need to do but everything is so time consuming and I pray my daughter has the resilance (sp?) to be able to be patient and not give up her hope and faith - especailly on herself. Her self-esteem is so low right now. Faith41

[Nikki1262]

i'v been reading the responces to your situation. The only one i DO NOT agree with is in reference to you going public to the TV station. DO NOT do this. I know for sure that is a sure fire way to have her TOTALLY removed from you. You CANNOT go public with her situation because she is NOT legally yours. My only suggestion is go to the supervisors and if need be go to the head of social security/foster care. Work "with" them (i know you already are but stay on them and make your voice heard). The department will NOT defend their action, they will simply put "your" daughter into a home that is willing to be quite.
Keep fighting for her--she believes in you or she would not be trying to call you. YOU ARE ALL SHE HAS and i pray your willing to fight for her. Nothing will happen fast so keep the faith.

WE all save our own little piece of the world and she is yours to save.... good luck

[Sharon]

This is heart-breaking. It's horrible!
Be sure and tell your foster daughter that you are here for her, that you will always love her and never stop thinking about her or forget her even if she isn't able to call you for a long time. Tell her not to get herself into trouble by calling you. Just to think about you instead, and know that you are thinking about her as well.
Tell her that as soon as she's old enough and the system lets her go, she can come straight back to you, and you will still be there for her, that no matter how bad things get she is not alone. In a few years at most, she can come back to you, and you will help her.
Tell her all these things whether they're true or not, so that she can have a life-preserver to hold on to in this sea she's drowning in. If she is to survive her adolescence, she needs to believe that someone, somewhere, gives a d*mn about her.
This is so sad.
~ sharon

[Faith41]

I have told my foster daughter she can come back home and I feel she knows that I have told her several times. She finally got to see her biological grandmother a few days ago and the biological grandmother also wants her with me. I continue to stay in contact because her biological grandmother only has the two of us. Any way I cannot go to the county foster care CPS I have already tried that routine. My foster daughter has already been totally taken away from me. The media has had other complaints about this county. So I feel I have nothing to loss at this time. This county has already been sued 8.3 million dollars on another child's case. All I can say is there are some cruel people who are not there for the children. They only do this work because they feel they have power. I really believe this about my foster daughter's social worker. Also my first foster daughter who is now out of the system spoke with me and she said she is willing to come forward and talk about her experience through this county, she was place in 14 homes in only three years. With the media I am careful on the confidential piece, I do understand that. I have gone to the state, congressman and governor. I will not stay quiet anymore. They have my foster daughter so drugged up she is so unhealthy and failing in school from what I hear from the grandmother. I pray and hope my foster daughter has the strength to overcome all the obsticales they have put in front of her along side the ones she already had from the start. I do appreciate the responses and the support. I do love my foster daughter and she has a hard road ahead of her even when she turns 18. Hopefully this county will have to support her and pay for her the rest of her life because of what she has been through. I will never give up on her and hopefully she knows this in her heart but I also want her to be able to survive in life and get the help she is going to need. Faith41

[Faith41]

Hi: It is me again. I heard from my foster daughter again last night. This is the second call where she sounds so depressed. Like I have never heard her sounding. I also spoke with her grandmother who lives in a rest home, she is also very concerned. The reason why I am writting this post. Is that I have gone to several people but there has been no action. I have gone to the assistant director of CPS, state foster care ombudsman and CCL as well as another attorney and the media. I am so frustrated and scared. I feel they are waiting for her to do something or until she becomes a statistic to do anything to help her. My foster daughter told me she is being moved again. This will be her 9th move. Why are they doing this and keeping her so isolated? They are destroying a life and they already have begun to destroy her spirit, which I try to keep telling her not to give up on herself and her future. I don't know if there is anymore advice or comments because at this point I don't know where else to turn and if I wait for someone else to do something well she be a statistic. God I hope not!!! Faith41

[Sharon]

This situation is excruciating to read about; I was almost afraid to read your latest post, for fear that it would be bad news; that something terrible had happened to the girl.
Will the media truly do nothing? Have you considered retaining an attorney? Does the girl have a guardian ad litem you could speak to?
I hate to say it, but maybe in this case it would be best if she just ran away. At least then she'd have a choice of whether or not she wished to be drugged out of her mind. And maybe she'd eventually find someone to care about her, which doesn't seem likely if she remains in her present situation.
Why are they keeping her so isolated? You need to keep asking this question until you receive a valid answer. Perhaps the system has made mistakes in her case and now fears legal repercussions.
Please, if you can, do something to help this child. Don't give up! It sounds as if her very life is at stake.
~ Sharon

[Hannah's Mommy]

Faith- call your SENATOR. not the US ones in washington your local senator. if they dont help call your rep....DOnt give up ...you have rights, she has rights and they system is a failure there. we had that problem with an almost 18 year old we got last year. She wanted to stay we were willing to Adopt even though she was a month shy of her 18th bday. She wanted to be part of a family. She wanted to have that. They told her they were going to move her and when I asked why I was told it wasnt there job to tell me. I said fine then I will find out whose job it is. well they moved her with NO warrning. I took her shopping so she would have new clothes and stuff she needed. ( she was with us a couple of weeks) then they moved her to a nother city about two hours from us. SHe would call us begging for our help. I fought and fought and was getting no where. Then they said I couldnt have contact with her. I was able to talk to her bio grandparents and they would keep me posted. THen they would let me talk to them either. So I got even more upset. I had two senators and a State rep and our mayor helping me help this child. Before we could do anything they had moved her again to be on her own. This kid was no where ready to live on her own.

When we were finally through and found her she was pregant doesnt have her GED, drivers licence or a job. you tell me they did better than she would have done here at my house. Well anyway The agency lost 4 people who were fired, three who quit and they told me to call off the dogs. I didnt and wouldnt. We have since changed agencies but the senators change the rules a bit. So now, a teenager has a bit more sy in what happens. IF they want to stay they are entitled to that. There is no way a teen cant speak up and have some control over their lives especially if what they want is a good thing.

Fight faith. Dont give up you call your senator and you make these people answer for this. It takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing. You are my hero and I know that you can do it. If you want any more information please email me and I will give you everything I have...