[eroseman]

My daughter (fost/adopt) is 3.6 months old and bites other children. What can I do to help her stop biting?

Eileen

[kay72]

Today's Ann Landers column (now called Dear Annie, I think) has its entire column on this subject--maybe one of those suggestions will help? I've never had a biter, my kids have only been on the recieving end I think it's much worse to be the mother of the biter--my SIL was at her wit's end and felt horrible every time it happened. Good luck!
Kay

[jodyk]

Did I read correctly that she's 3.6 MONTHS old? If that's the case, then she's probably teething and exploring. EVERYTHING goes into babies' mouths. Still, that seems awfully young to be able to bite other children.

If she's 3.6 YEARS old, then it's time to tell her she needs to use words and not her teeth when she's angry. Tell her that it hurts the other children when she bites them. DO NOT bite her to show her, though, because she'll just see that as implicit (although indirect) permission to bite. Do the old time out thing, if it works, and if there's a certain child she bites more than others, keep her away from him/her. Also, try to turn her attention elsewhere to try to head it off.

My now 2yo fs bit, too, when he first came back into my care. It seemed to have a lot do do with his frustration at not being able to express his thoughts, needs, and feelings. And, I think he liked the reactions he got -- HE had the power to affect others' reactions. (I know this because he'd often laugh when he bit me, while I was telling him "no", "it hurts", etc.) Now that he's talking more, it's no longer an issue.

[eroseman]

Morgan is 3 years 6 months old (sorry about the mis understanding). She is the light of my life, but this biting really
upsets me (not to mention the affect she has on the other children and their parents).

Eileen

[JaelynElise]

I wouldn't worry too much. My bio son was getting bit at daycare at the age of 2 and then when he turned 3, he started biting. He is 4 1/2 now and JUST starting to get over that unfortunate habit.

[preciouskygirl]

MY daughter was a biter as well. I seemed to try everything and nothing worked. She bit when she was angry but she would aslo bite if she got extremely excited. I finally had to train myself to watch for the signs when she seemed to be getting over stimulated. And then remove her from the situation and teach her to use her words instead. Good Luck!!!

[eroseman]

Does your daughter still bite? Or did she outgrow it?

Eileen

[HappyMomAnna]

Our son will be two in January and he bites.....a lot. At first we had no idea why--and then realized it was a game he plays! Actually, it is palying "Kitty" we realized this one night when he was bugging the cat and the cat made a warning sound--opened his mouth and threatened to bite----right after seeing this our son ran around making a sound and threatening to bite!!! Needless to say we have started to portect the cat much better--clearly he has gotten a bite or two in on the baby! Thankfully he is a great cat and warns real clearly and has not hurt the baby---but, it is clear too that we had not been seeing everything. \
Now we are teaching our son to purrrr instead of bite.

[eroseman]

Thanks for the reply. It would be nice to see something in the books about biting. Oh well.

Eileen

[eranchhome]

You might try Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood by Jim Fay and Charles Fay. I don't remember if it specifically focuses on biting, but it has wonderful suggestions for dealing with "Misbehavior". You are not alone. Robin

[preciouskygirl]

Eileen,

No, she doesn't still bite. It took me about 6 monthes to break her of it. And she still had an occasional slip up, but mainly because I wasn't paying attention to the signs. BTW, she 16 now

[HappyMomAnna]

I was just talking to a friend and I don't know if this is considered ethical---you might ask your case worker first---but they used hot sauce when the child bit the put a little on their finger and gave the child a taste.....My friend said it stopped real fast.... I don't know if I would try it---maybe if my little boy bites another child or breaks skin or gets really out of control.....

My mom was telling me that when I was little I was the victim of a cousin who left about 20 bite markes on me in one hour---back then they let me bite him back---but, I know we can't do that now a days---It would be abusive....I guess it worked the cousin never bit anyone again.