[mommalinda]

me and me husband have been foster parents for a little while now we have a problem with a nosy neighbor that keeps making stuff up and calling things in and every time we show them that it's false but we were asked by a case worker to think about adopting a child that had no placement and they other family decided not to adopt but the one over the approval dept. said since the call came in and she did not know if it was true or not she would rather us foster for awhile even thou the child is open for adoption,we feel if were good enough to foster and take care of our foster child we are good enough to adopt . please help us.

[HappyMomAnna]

I don't now what I would do if I were in your situation. However if you have a neighbor who is reporting false statments to anyone about anything I think I would pursue legall action or try and find a way to move. A false report is criminal and at a minimum I would ask for a civil suit and defimation of your name!
Who is this neighbor reporting to? How many reports has she made? and what has the result of her reporting been?
If she is herrassing you that is a crime too.

The rest of your post is confusing to me. The standards for adoption are generally greater then for fostering given that after the adoption is final the state is no longer involved with the child and no longer monitors the home.....adoption is a forever thing and Fostering is supposed to be long enough for reunification or an adoptive placement....... The state may be supportive of you and think the an adoption would give you a child and not require them to fillout 30-pages of reports every time your neighbor calls.....

Either way I would be focused on your legal rights regarding the neighbor orlooking for a new home.....I wouldn't want to raise my family in a neighborhood where someone held this much control in my life.

[lucyjoy]

As the mom of some very "charming" children, my first question would be, what are these kids telling the neighbor? Manipulation and triagulation of adults is common in foster children with attachment issues. I've had kids throw their breakfast accross the room and tell the teacher I don't feed them. I have a kid who told people I locked him in closets. Nancy Thomas puts out a tape called Circle of Support that I give to new teachers, nosy neighbors, and church personnel that helps them understand that these kids are not all what they see. It might help.

[BrandyHagz]

I had a “run in” with CPS (Child Protective Services) in Texas about nine years ago. I was a single, first time mom…and the lady across the street from me, thought it was morally repugnant for me to be able to raise a child on my own…so, she called CPS every chance she got.

Before it was over, I had three unfounded cases of neglect I had to deal with, and a neighbor that kept it no secret that she was behind it all.

The thing with reports…is even if they are unfounded/unsubstantiated/dropped; whatever you want to call it…they are still there. They never go away. I was HOPPING mad.

I ended up suing my “neighbor” for “defamation of character” and won. A few short months later, her children had her “committed” because she suffered from dementia.

With all that said…I STILL have a “file” with Texas CPS, and I will always have one…even though I won a law suit for defamation, and even though none of the claims ever turned into anything…it will follow me for the rest of my life.

According to the state, even though this person was mentally incompetent to care for herself, and was legally required to pay restitution for the damages she caused, her concern was still valid…and required to stay on the “books” forever.

If I were you, I would get ANYTHING and EVERYTHING the caseworker says to you about this claim IN WRITING! Also, if she comes to you and says she knows that the case is false, but she is required to investigate, get that in writing too. Then FIGHT! Fight till you have nothing left to fight with…MAKE them remove unfounded reports of abuse from your file…it could very well take a judicial order for that to happen…but if you don’t, it will haunt you forever!

[mommalinda]

the one that she calls on is my bio child and he is 12 I have 3 bio kids and they don't go near her house and we have 1 fs he is 2 , my neighbors on children will not go to her house much because she has tried calling on them to,and trying to lose them even tho she don't want them we are looking for a different house and neighborhood I have told my kids not to even speak to her if she tries to talk to them and she is not welcome at our house again.

[mommalinda]

I have spoken discretly with a few of the other foster parents and they have the same feelings toward the caseworker asI have and they have said that she treats every one of them bad and she will not look you in the eyes we thought that they were there for us when we started fostering but this has discoureged a lot of fosterfamilys in our area they are unable to keep foster familys because of this.