[shebe1archangel]

Hello, please feel free to respond, especially if you have experiance in this type of situation. A dear friend passed not more than a month ago, leaving her 15yr old daughter & soon to be 18yr old son behind with no family to really speak of. Her husband / father of the before mentioned kids, committed suicide not long after their youngest was born. Her mother and sister have also since passed. For whatever reason, she and her brother in-law took up house-keeping together (so to speak), she had a well known daycare center within their home, as well as managed a few apartment complexes from home. She also collected S.S. from her deceased husband. Their home is in both names, though she made sure to have her own banking accounts etc for her children ... when the time came. Now that she is gone, this man has refused to give up the Van that was to go to her son, whom is soon on his way to college (we hope). The man agreed to see that her children were properly cared for before she passed. There was also an agreement, that he become their Guardian. Yet, since her passing .... he has put the Van in his name, refuses to help with her son's education ... not to mention, he has yet to take the kids to the Social Security Office to fill out the paperwork needed for them to receive what is rightfully theirs. I have been the legal guardian of a 15yr old young lady for over 2yrs now. It was not until late last night that something opened my eyes. I am assuming even if her" WILL" stated that he be the guardian to these children, he would still have to file papers with the courts, as well as be appointed by a judge ... as do we all? Could this be the reason for not taking them to Social Security, the Van being registered in his name. He is also refusing her son any help with his education, while all of the bills are falling behind. Please keep in mind, there is a 15yr old female soon to see her brother go off to college (scholorship) earned. Which would leave her behind to deal with whatever this man believes to be right. I do not want to step in if my way of thinking is not right. Yet, if my what I am thinking to be right is ... I will step in right now .... no matter how deep the hole has been dug! Again, please feel free to respond ..... Sincerely, Tina-Rae

[bromanchik]

Fromn what I understand he is not automatically guardian because the mom designated it. It does need to go through the courts. I would call CPS immediately.

Also once the boy is 18 he does not need a guardian. He has legal right to what was given to him. When is his birthday?

[lucyjoy]

It's only been a month since this person died. Is it possible that they are all just too grief stricken to deal with all this yet? Also, if the child is not yet 18, that could be why the va isn't in his name.
Our kids cars, even if they buy them, are in our names until they're 18. then we transfer them over. Also, maybe he feels the son isn't ready to have that van. His father committed suicide at a young age and his mother just died.. Add that to a very difficult age of change and a car may not be the best idea.
As for the money, housing and food cost money and it's tuff to do everyday chores even as simple as paying bills when you're overwhelmed with grief. It might be better to approach the situation as a friend offering to help or run errands or take the kids where they need to go.