[saucey95]

I haven't posted in a few weeks because things have just been crazy. I was starting to think we would be waiting until after the holidays for two boys we had submitted our profile on. But we got the call earlier in the week and will go to see their profile this evening. Our caseworker said if all works out and we are still interested, we could set up a home visit this weekend and possibly have them by around Thanksgiving.
I have to admit, my heart stopped! I was excited and still am but I am now scared out of my mind! I've had a few days to turn this over and over in my mind and it's driving me nuts. At night I can't fall asleep because I'm thinking, oh my gosh have we made the right decision? have we lost our minds? our lives are going to completely change!! what have we done? Oh wow, we are going to be parents. WHAT??? We are going to be parents????
You get the idea I'm sure. My husband and I talk about it and our fears and yesterday had to laugh because he turned to me and said, what if they are ugly? I mean really ugly kids??? We just stared at each other and started laughing. I know that there are some of you out there who feel that's insensitive but, honestly, didn't that thought ever cross anyone's minds when they were waiting for a placement or match? We don't know much about these boys except their race, ages, and a little about their bmother. We'll find out more tonight when we read the profile.
Anyway, it would be really great to hear from others who have felt the same way or feel this way now. Is this normal? To be so scared but excited at the same time? I'm freaking out....

[mckenna]

gotta say if you weren't feeling a little scared and overwhelmed, i would be worried. my friend is having her 2nd baby on friday and last night i was talking to her and she said, "what have we done?" now they planned this baby, spaced their kids four years apart, and have known she was coming for the past 9 months and now she gets freaked out!! of course parenting whether for the 1st, or 5th time is scary and wonderful and overwhelming, but you will be great! good luck and have a great holiday

[lonzygray]

Great news...you are feeling NORMAL!!! It's sort of nice to hear it all again b/c we tend to forget those initial thoughts we had. You are entering a most exciting time in your life and a huge change...your feelings are overwhelming, I'm sure. Just think, those 2 boys are thinking the same thing...what if our parents are ugly...REALLY ugly!!! Very normal and very cute...be sure to journal these feelings for later in life. You will feel this same way when you send them off to school, when they first get behind the wheel, on their first date, graduation, when you send them off to college, move them into their first apartment, attend their wedding and the birth of their children!!! It's the wonderful thing about being a parent......

Best of luck and let us know how it goes!!!

[bumpkin]

Hi

Of course you should be nervous, this will all be a big blurrr soon. Just to relate a similar story.... on our way in the car to pick up our infant son my husband said to me " what if he has a huge port wine stain on his face?" I don't know why he said that particular afliction... just the fears coming out I guess. Anyway, it all works out, however they come to you, they are yours. and believe me, you'll think they're beautiful no matter what.

good luck, V.

[jodyk]

I, too, felt that way. And except for the 4 months I'd spent waiting for a child, I didn't have any REAL time to prepare for him, as they called around 3:00 & I picked him up around 5:00! He was 7 months old at the time, & I knew NOTHING about him. I was ecstatic that night, but I woke up the next morning called my mom to come over ASAP -- What had I done? What made me think I could be a single working mother? What was I supposed to do with this baby? It didn't help that I had a terrible cold & already wasn't feeling/sleeping well. Each time I talked to a family member for the first few days, I just cried at the enormity of my decision.

But guess what? After a week or so, it was great! I was comfortable with him, and he with me. He was reunited with his biomom last Dec. & it broke my heart when he left. When he came back into my care in April, I couldn't have been happier or more relieved. And I'm totally confident in my ability to care for him now -- until he gets sick, at which times, I panic again...

[waiting4ourgirl]

I had to laugh when I read your post. My husband and I had that same conversation about our future foster children! We were wondering if we were going insane over all of the fears, and concerns that we had. I am sure that there are so many of us that feel the same way, and it helps hearing its okay from others.

Good luck!
Mel

[leenab]

This is so natural. We have our first placement he came on Tuesday and will hopefully stay forever. But for the first 15 minuutes I just panicced and wasn't sure what to do. But 5 days later and 14 hours of sleep later things are going well. I thought I was prepared before this, but you really just learn how to do it and go with it. Sounds crazy maybe, but I'm sleep deprived. Anyway the best advice I can give you is this:

Sleep really well a week before placement

Make a huge pot of soup and freeze it in ziploc bags in the freezer

Turn off the ringer on your phone when you get your placement

Sleep when the children nap

Keep coffee & tea on hand

Take your multi vitamin & some ovaltine

Have at least 1 full gallon of milk in the house for toddlers

Have toddler snacks if you want a toddler

Good Luck,
LeenaB

[huggle002]

Oh wow, your post sure stirred up alot of memories for me....We are in the fost-adopt program and when we finally got "the call", it was for a newborn baby and his 12 month old sister. We had been hoping and praying and waiting for that phone call, but when it came, I think I was in complete and total shock...We had been wanting children for so long, and just meeting all the requirements and taking all the classes took about 10 months, I was so sure I was READY...Well, the call came on a tuesday, and we picked the baby up at the hospital that Wednesday. I believe since we only had one night to get ready for his arrival, I didnt have time to REALLY be scared. He was a preemie, only 5 lbs, and so tiny. I set up a bed in his room and jumped up at every little sound for about the first 2 weeks. I then moved him into a bassinet in my bedroom, because I felt the crib in his room was so BIG for such a little guy, and I missed being with dh. In the meantime, the social worker brought his big sister over twice to try to get acquainted as since she was 12 months old, we wanted to make the change a little slower from her previous foster home.
On my birthday, she was brought to stay permanently...All I know is the social worker was here on that day, with our little girl, waiting for dh to come home from work when we got a call from dh that his car broke down...It was over 100 degrees outside and his car was completely dead, and the social worker, the baby, our little girl and myself were sitting in my living room. At that point the social worker said she couldnt stay and wait for dh as she had another appointment, so she left...There I was all alone staring at our 2 little ones, ....and wouldnt you know it, the baby started crying just as the social worker closed the door which of course started his 12 month old sister crying...and then I joined in... When dh finally got home, he walked in to find me sitting on the couch with our 12 month old, both of us tear stained and terrified, and the baby was asleep...He walked in with a melted box of chocolates for my birthday, and the news that the engine was finished in our car....and a HUGE smile on his face when he looked at our 2 little angels. We both started laughing....I mean really laughing. If anyone walked into our house at that moment, they wouldve called the men with their white coats to come pick us up.
It has now been about 6 months since that day, and things have gone so smoothly I cant believe it. We bought a larger car to replace the one that died on that day...(I believe it was was a blessing in disguise that our car died that day, as it never would've held both car seats AND a double stroller)parental rights were taken away about 2 months ago, and we have started the paperwork for adoption. I cant believe its only been 6 months, I feel like these 2 precious angels have been with us forever. The baby is at a whopping 18 lbs now, and other then both of them having asthma and some minor issues, everything has been wonderful.
So I guess my point to this whole long story (sorry, once I started typing I just kept on going) is that it is totally normal to be terrified...The classes and homestudy can prepare you for just so much. This is a major change, and any life altering change is of course scary. In fact this one is scariest because it doesnt just involve us as adults...we hold in our hands the most precious thing of all when these babies are brought to us. All kinds of thoughts start rollling around in our heads when that call comes, and you are preparing your house and a room or 2 for children you have never seen...
And...as a final note, I have to say these are the most beautiful children I have ever seen. They both have the ability to light up a whole entire room when they smile, and when they laugh its like music.

[eranchhome]

Just wanted to say...your story brought tears to my eyes Huggle002. May you all live happily ever after. Robin

[eroseman]

i've had morgan with me now for 5 months. I love her so much. What you're feeling is very normal. The first month i had Morgan, i went through an emotional low and lost 12 pounds in the process (i'm a solo-working mother). Hang in there, and yes...what you're going through is normal.

eileen

[roche]

I got my first placement call last night for foster/adopt boys. 15 months and 2 1/2 years old. As I was talking to the caseworker, I thought "I am insane! I need to tell her I can't take these boys. They are so young!" I agreed to meet the boys and their current foster family for dinner. I was really hoping they would be ugly or something would happen that would make me not want them. But everything went fine, and they are coming over today for a visit. I AM TERRIFIED! I couldn't sleep last night. I have been cleaning my house all day and feeling so stressed. And I thought, if I am feeling so stressed, then does it mean it isn't right? To hear that you have all been so scared means a lot to me. Especially the story about the mom who cried when the caseworker walked out the door and the kids were crying and the husband came walking through the door.

Roche

[jolean12]

Congratulations you on the call on your first placement!!!!! How did the visit go yesterday? I know you are scared to death but it will get better. Keep us posted and I will be praing for you and the boys.

[huggle002]

Hi all...Congratulations Roche on that phone call!!! What a wonderful New Years gift!! I think its safe to say that its a totally normal thing to be nervous and terrified...you never know whats coming...But it DOES get easier, trust me....Every so often, the tears still come-but these are tears of total happiness and disbelief that we have been so fortunate to have these babies in our lives. Don't get me wrong-there are still times when I am absolutely terrified. But I know that if I was able to get through that first day with both of them together at the same time, (especially since these were our first children) and the car, and everything else that happened, I can do almost ANYTHING!!! and you can too...

[roche]

I was excited and still am but I am now scared out of my mind! I've had a few days to turn this over and over in my mind and it's driving me nuts. At night I can't fall asleep because I'm thinking, oh my gosh have we made the right decision? have we lost our minds? our lives are going to completely change!! what have we done?

I haven't slept hardly at all since meeting the boys. And yes, I do think I have lost my mind. It's interesting. the few people I have told, they think I have lost my mind as well!!

Just call me, "Roche, Sleepless in Utah." Ha ha ha.

[jolean12]

Hi sleepless in Utah...you better get all you can now b/c as soon as they get there all sleep is out the door JK...maybe they are great sleepers, unlike mine who are 18 months, 22 months, and 28 months and till don't sleep through the night. Someone is up at least one time every night