[allsouls]

I live in IA & a relative age 14 has been living w/ me for 9 months. Due to her age it appears long term foster care will be the recommendation for permanency. I disagree with this and feel the rights should be terminated. I have parented this child for 12 years and the mother has never parented alone, 2 of her bio children are alcoholics and violent. I have had issues w/ DHS personally & do not feel comfortable entering into an arrangement with them for the next 4 yrs. That is not the only reason but it is definitely one that is on my mind. Is it appropriate for me to be heard on this issue? If so, by whom? I have no understanding for how this process works & honestly do believe it to be in child's best interests to have rights termed. I don't feel dhs understands how little the mother has ever parented and how much i have, and that child of the mother is definitely better off being separated than having to deal with the mixed msgs the mother always sends and the proof is how her other children have turned out so messed up by having to be in her life. I know this probably sounds bad, but I don't know where to start.

[riley6]

I'm going to assume a few things here. Correct me if I'm wrong, because my suggestion is based on what I'm assuming.

The child is in DCFS custody. Correct? How long has the child been in custody? The mother has had a plan to work and she has failed. The worker is changing the goal and presenting it to the court. Does the child have a court appointed guardian (GAL or CASA)? If she does, you need to contact that person and make sure they know all the facts. If the mother failed the plan (to get the child back), find out what reason DCFS is using to NOT tpr. It most likely will be, from our experiences, that the child has a meaningful relationship with the parent that should not be servered. This is bunk! If the parent is NEVER going to get the child back, the child needs permanency. Site the Adoption and Safe Families Act, which states that if the child has been in foster care for 15 out of the last 22 months, tpr may be sought. Also, make sure you tell them that FEDERAL money is dependant on being compliant with ASFA. They know that I'm sure, but sometimes when they know that someone ELSE knows, they are more apt to follow the law.

You may really have to push this. Has the child told you what she wants? Is she in counseling? If so, and she's told the counselor she wants to be adopted, have the counselor write a letter to DCFS with a copy to the GAL and CASA.

It sounds to me like the bio mom has MORE than enough time to get her crap together and parent. She has given up that right, by what you have said here. Please let me know how things go. We are in a similar situation. Here's hoping for a good ending for both of us!

[glk]

My understanding is that social workers assume teenagers are all hard to place adoptively and so they tend to be unwilling to do TPR and make them "legal orphans". Are you willing to adopt; is the child willing to be adopted by you? If both answers are yes, does the caseworker know this? I would suggest you talk to the caseworker about this and see if your willingness to adopt (if you are) makes any difference to his/her plans for the case. If it doesn't, contact the CASA/GAL or the caseworker's supervisor.

Good Luck!

[sharkey]

I'm also assuming here but it sounds like you have helped the child while she still lived with her mother and that is how you have "parented" her but she has actually been physically living with you for nine months. My response is the same either way....can you file for Parent de Facto status (if they have that in IA) so you will have a voice in the court? In CA you can do that as long as the child has been with you at least six months. Also it may depend on what the child wants since teens can choose not to be adopted.