[mom26]

Here is the deal. I want to foster and my dh says no I have always wanted to foster. He says we have 6 kids that is engh. Out of the 6 4 live with us and one is leaving for college in Dec..

He says all he hears is how bad these kids are and doesn't want them in our house. He is thinking of out of control teenagers. And it doesn't help that he was a friend telling him not to do it. They have had alot of problems, but this is the same friend that has three foster babies right now and is adopting.

I tried to explain that I just want to do respite, short term care and we pick the ages.

So please pray for us that if it is GOD's will that we do fostering that he will open the doors for us, and soften dh's heart!

[Miss Missy]

I can relate to a certain point. When I first went to my husband and told him I felt led to do foster care, he looked at me like I was crazy. Since then we have prayed that if this is something our family is to that God will open all the right doors. We too have children of our own, 4 in fact that all live at home. We are only interested in newborns but not in it to adopt. We just want to provide a loving home for a baby during htat tranistion time. Anyway, God opened the doors very wide for us. We are still in the process of being licensed but we feel a real peace about it. I would encourage you to keep praying.

[mom26]

THANK YOU so much for your reply. I was begging to think that no one prays on this site. God has realy been working in this situation. He has opened doors and I'm just going along to see what happens. We have been asked to doing babysitting for foster care. So we will have to do fingure prints and DEI class. The best part is dh is willing to go to class God is realy working here. I think dh sees the need now for a good home for these kids. He can't grasp how a mother can give birth and just walk out on the baby. He just can't believe it.

[Miss Missy]

Your very welcome!!!!! God can do what ever He wants, so if it is in his will it will happen. The question is, will you allow it to happen in his time? Because if its not in Gods time then its not worth it!!!!!!! Try and be patient which it sounds like you are a great wife and mom, so God will bless that. Your patience will pay off!!!!!!!! In His Grip, Miss Missy

[bwinks]

I would like to say please don't give up, keep up the faith and keep on praying. If it is God's will that you and your family open up your hearts and home to these babies then this will happen for you. My husband and I were transitional care parents until last mo. for a private agency. We volunteered for them but unfortunately they do not allow you to adopt and do transitional care parenting at the same time. We were allowed to continue to be transitional care parents in the beginning process of our adoption but now they no longer feel comfortable with us doing it because of the emotional stress it could cause on us. Anyway, I just wanted to say hang in there, transitional care parenting is a lot of work but it is very rewording and remember if it is meant to happen it will. I don't know what age your children are but there can be a lot of DR appointments involved that you are required to take the baby to as well as other appointments. Some birth mothers also have visits that you have to take the babies to as well. Please keep all of this in mind when you are making your decision.

[mom26]

Thank you for all your kind words. I am waiting for God's will. I know I can't do it without the support of God and my husband. We only have 4 kids at home right now soon to be 3 My daughter is graduating and going away to school. My youngest is 4 so I would like to care for birth-3 yrs old. I have nothing but time so awaiting I will go.


In his time
mom to 6

[lonzygray]

I think it is very important for you to continue to pray about this. Prayer has more power than anything when prayer is done unselfishly. I've learned to pray for what God has in mind and not just for what I want. Pray that your husband can come to terms with his insecurites about fostering whichever way it turns out. Foster children need strong and healthy homes to help support them through their many termoils. It has to be a team effort. Many times over the past several years either my husband or I were ready for Foster Parenting but until we BOTH were ready at the same time, we didn't do it. We have had a foster child for a year and a half, now, and are getting ready to adopt our 3 year old beauty. We have prayed for HER and what is best for HER and not for what WE want. God will provide to those who are unselfish in their prayers...believe me, it took us a long time to learn that. If your husband is a praying man, he, too, needs to pray for guidance in this. Stay patient. You need to remember that these children are very special and not everyone is meant to to Foster. You can still get involved through volunteering and in other ways. You need to check with your local Department of Social Services and they can help lead you to ways you can still be a part of these children's lives without Fostering if that doesn't work out. Good luck and God bless your heart for wanting to help these extraordianary children.

[tammy2923]

I was a foster parent for 10 years. i have sucessfully adopted 5 special needs children. it was an awesome experience but at the same time a very trying one. My husband and i were divorced right after the last adoption. I love all my children but they come with alot of baggage and some people cant deal with it as well as others. they demand attention. prayer and the Lord are the only things that have gotten me through this time in my life. i would not change adopting them but i would have taken more time to nurture the relationship with my spouse. foster care is a great thing but both parties must be in full agreement or you are setting yourself up for failure. Pray without ceasing the bible says--and i do whenever i am not cooking and cleaning-lol-i will say one for you!! God Bless!!

[acgh2003]

Hi It is important to not get in over your head. If your husband does not want to foster than maybe he can not handle any more children. I understand you love children but there are other ways to help without having them live in your home. You must remember that your family really will change if you take on more children and you want to make sure everyone is committed to this. If they do not feel comfortable with fostering look for some other avenue like mentoring at the y or looking into children programs within your community. It is improtant to acknowledge and respect your families feelings. I understand you feel a great need to help other children but this help can come in a variety of ways.

[mom26]

Thank you all for your prayers and replies!! God is working in our family. He is also working in my DH's heart. I know God has given me the gift to care for babies. I know I can't do fostering without the support of my family. I know if it is God's will he will oopen the doors and put people in our paths to confirm this. When the time comes I want to do respite and short term care. I feel that is what God is leading me to do. I am involved with children at church, Teens n Tots, preschool, youth group. I also do daycare. I know there are ways for me to help if fostering is not for us. Please continue to pray for us.

Mom to 6

Proverbs 3:5-6"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. And lean on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths."

[clubfisher]

I appreciate your situation. While we do not have children, our life is very 'directed' and on some target. Perhaps your husband sees the light at the end of the tunnel and to take on more responsibility is frightening (?) Maybe.

One thing I will share is my story: My husband was very sure he was not going to be loved well if he was also a Dad. We have all heard the stories of children and the focus leaves the marriage out.

In the good Book, we're taught that first priority is the marriage. It is the foundation of the family. Perhaps seek to understand if your husband feels your marriage has been priority. If this is not the case, this is the first step.

My husband and I had many years of deep revelation about our own insecurities and needs within our marriage. We had to share some really deep stuff. Now, as we care for foster children and are considering further care/commitment, it is a different reality and it was all worth the wait.

I'll pray. I so know the desire to care. I see children daily who are so maltreated it is wicked and painful to NOT help. I pray you will create a loving team for all kids!
Take good care of you!
SF