[Archive]

This message was originally posted by 3boysmom.

I am trying to find out policies on gay and lesbian foster parenting. Some people on other boards thoought this was a contriversial thread and it got deleted.

I am not trying to find out opinions on if lesbian foster parenting is moral or right, just trying to find out what the policies are and maybe some success stories that are out there.

I have two friends that are lesbians and neither one can conceive a child, and also a sister who is a lesbian. They are all professionals who would like to eventually adopt a child and I am trying to find out what the policies are for them.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by Wendi5000.

This is *kind of* relevant. My great-aunt has always been like another grandma to me, and so was her partner of 30+ years who passed away in '93. I always felt just as comfortable in their home as I would any other. She has a new partner now, and they too make me feel welcomed and at ease in their respective homes. Anyway, I'm not going to argue the pros or cons, but this is just my perspective of the situation growing up around a family member who happened to be of that sexual orientation. Just something to think about, and sorry that I don't know enough about the laws to help you out.

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by Vince.

Although specific policies vary, homosexuals who meet the state's requirements are permitted to be foster parents. Various studies have shown that homosexuals are no more likely to molest children than heterosexuals.

Like everyone else, they will be questioned about their motives, have a criminal background check, psychological evaluation, etc., and if they meet the requirements, they go through the same training as everyone else.

Once they are licensed, they must meet the same standards as everybody else.

This is not an endorsement of homosexuality. It is simply the Law.

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by LucyNJ.

Texas House Bill 194 - Anti-Gay Foster Parents || Human Rights ...
... You're in: State Laws & Legislation >> Texas >>. Legislation to Track in Texas.
House Bill 194 - Anti-Gay Foster Parents. Summary: House Bill 194, by Rep. ...
www.hrc.org/stateaction/texas/bill1.asp - 23k - Cached - Similar pages

HRC FamilyNet || Foster parenting || Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and ...
... But a few state laws still bar gay and lesbian adults from becoming foster parents
and some local agencies still make it very difficult for those who apply. ...
www.hrc.org/familynet/chapter.asp?article=98 - 19k - Sep 14, 2003 - Cached - Similar pages
[ More results from www.hrc.org ]

ACLU Newswire: 08-12-01 -- Gay Foster Parents Sue for Right to ...
... Currently, gay adoption is covered by a patchwork of state laws and policies ... In April,
New Hampshire repealed the state's 12-year ban on gay adoption and ...
archive.aclu.org/news/2001/w081201a.html - 10k - Cached - Similar pages

[PDF]LESBIANS AND GAY MEN AS ADOPTIVE AND FOSTER PARENTS AN ...
File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat
Your browser may not have a PDF reader available. Google recommends visiting our text version of this document.
... 1990s, right-wing organizations launched a nationwide campaign to enact state laws
prohibiting lesbians and gay men from becoming adoptive or foster parents. ...
www.nclrights.org/publications/pubs/afi1000.pdf - Similar pages

CNN.com - Analyst: Courts to drive gay adoption policy - March 15 ...
... repeal the law," pointing to the contradiction of that state's laws that allow homosexuals
to be foster parents but not to adopt. The issue of gay and lesbian ...
www.cnn.com/2002/LAW/03/14/gay.adoption.courts/ - 29k - Cached - Similar pages

AFC: A State-by-State Guide to G&L Adotpion Laws
... The following is a summary of those laws and recent developments ... who is in the care
of the state and is ... However, states vary with regard to whether gay men and ...
www.adoptionfamilycenter.org/resources/ states/bythenumbers.htm - 63k - Sep 14, 2003 - Cached - Similar pages

AFC: Gay and Lesbian Adoptive Parents
... they could have been adopted by a gay or lesbian ... the field of adoption in the State(s)
where ...
www.adoptionfamilycenter.org/resources/ adoption/gayandlesbian/gl-issues.htm - 46k - Sep 14, 2003 - Cached - Similar pages
[ More results from www.adoptionfamilycenter.org ]

State Laws Regarding Adoption by Gay and Lesbian Parents
... and London and Manchester, England and laws have recently been ... barring joint adoption
by a gay couple and ... The State of Connecticut's statutes specify that the ...
www.calib.com/naic/pubs/l_same.cfm - 19k - Cached - Similar pages

Washington State NOW: Position Paper: Lesbian and Gay Rights
... Lesbian and Gay Rights. ... In most parts of Washington State lesbians and gays: can
be ... Although these laws criminalize heterosexual activities as well, they have ...
www.wa-now.org/pp/lesbian_and_gay_rights.html - 7k - Cached - Similar pages

Adopt - Adopting a Child, Baby, Adoption Information, ...
... Interactive Book Adoption Laws – adoption laws, statutes & ... professionals and services
By State | By City ... tools for all adoptive parents Foster Child Adoption ...
adopt.adoption.com/ - 37k - Cached - Similar pages



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[Archive]

This message was originally posted by LucyNJ.

State Laws Regarding Adoption by Gay and Lesbian Parents
Second Parent Adoptions
The most common way in which same-sex couples adopt is that one partner already has legal custody of a child (either by birth or adoption) as a single parent. Then the second partner, at some later date after the adoption has been finalized, petitions the court to allow the second partner to do a second parent adoption of the other partner's child using the streamlined stepparent adoption process.

Stepparent adoptions are the most common and least regulated types of relative adoptions in the United States. They most commonly involve stepparents (usually stepfathers) married to one of the child's biological parents. Most states streamline the process of stepparent adoptions by eliminating, or giving the court the discretion to waive, many required procedural steps for other adoptions, including homestudies, statutory waiting periods before finalizing the adoption, and formal accounting of adoption expenses.

Second parent adoption allows a homosexual couple to adopt a child so that both partners have equal parental rights. For instance, the non-biological mother can adopt the child born to her lesbian partner without terminating the parental rights of the biological mother.

Information from Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition International
According to Tim Fisher, Executive Director of the Gay and Lesbian Parents Coalition International (GLPCI), the following 21 states and DC have court precedents that allow for Second Parent Adoptions for same-sex couples.

Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Maryland, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Michigan, Nevada, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, Texas, Vermont, Washington

In these states at least one court allowed second parent adoptions, but that doesn't mean that a higher court would not overturn the decision. These decisions apply to intercountry adoption as well as adoption of the biological child of one's partner.

In four states, the highest court decided in favor of second parent adoptions, which makes them binding law. These states are Vermont, Massachusetts, New York, and New Jersey.

Colorado is a bit confusing, because one court decision prohibited this type of adoption, while others at the same level have allowed it.

Wisconsin had lower court decision that allowed same-sex couples to adopt, but their highest court overruled these decisions. Thus, the law prohibiting second-parent adoption for same-sex couples is binding.

Internationally, adoption by homosexual couples is allowed in Ontario, Canada and London and Manchester, England and laws have recently been enacted in the Netherlands to allow adoption by homosexual couples.

Joint Non-Relative Adoption by Same-Sex Couples
Most states currently allow an individual gay or lesbian adult to adopt a minor child subject, as is any adoption, to a finding by a judge, that adoption by that individual is in the child's best interest. No states currently sanction in statute adoption by lesbian or homosexual couples.

The main problem for unmarried same-sex couples is the prohibition in all states except Hawaii against their legal marriage. All fifty states allow unmarried individuals to adopt. Most states require couples to be legally married in order to adopt a child. The fact that same-sex couples are barred from legal marriage in 49 of 50 states acts as a barrier to joint adoption (at the same time) of a child unrelated to either party. In cases where unmarried couples (heterosexual or homosexual) have petitioned to adopt a child, courts have begun, at the appellate level, to rule that marital status and sexual orientation do not take precedence to the individual child's best interests. A recent court decision in New Jersey overturned a lower court ruling barring joint adoption by a gay couple and allowed the couple to adopt their foster son jointly. Two states (Florida and New Hampshire) expressly forbid adoption by homosexuals in their adoption statutes. The State of Connecticut's statutes specify that the sexual orientation of the adoptive parents may be considered but no specific orientation will be required as a condition for the placement of a child.

Vermont has allowed two lesbians who had received a favorable evaluation by a child-placing agency to adopt an unrelated child sequentially. In that case, one woman adopted as a single parent and about a year later the second partner petitioned the court successfully to adopt the child. Thus the first partner did an individual stranger adoption and the second partner did a second parent adoption.

This material may be reproduced and distributed without permission; however, appropriate citation must be given to the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse.




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Updated on November 13, 2002 by webmaster@calib.com

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by 3boysmom.

Lucy,
Thank you sooo, much! Those sites will be awsome for my friends.

Thanks again.

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by mariah.

You said, your friends were told by the state to "don't ask, don't tell" if they are lesbians but apparently that wasn't good enough. they are so proud of their sexual orientation that they sent you onto this board and the other board to dredge up some information for them and a bunch of people had to be offended by the topic. I don't think you understand because you have become so desensitized, but there are still plenty of people in the world who believe homosexuality is not only wrong but unnatural, abnormal and dysfunctional. There are even a whole lot of people who still cringe (while you may not) at the thought of a man sexing another man or a woman sexing another woman. Every time you post about lesbians or gays you are forcing people to be exposed to the thought of a guy and a guy and it isn't a pleasant thought. Why do you keep it up? Is your gay sister hounding you to harass the straight people like this?

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by janae.

3boysmom,
As an occassional "browser" on the other site, I can't help but notice you've already had this question asked and answered over there! Why is it being asked again?
I agree with Mariah wholeheartedly. I am here, as many other foster parents, to read about and learn about issues DIRECTLY related to the children in our lives, not about who has sexual intercourse with whom. Is this is just another politically correct site where we have to hear how wonderful homosexuals are as parents? Why don't we spend some time talking about how kids need a mommy AND a daddy? how God designed a family to operate? C'mon, let's not travel down this whole "gay foster parent" road again. Didn't you stir up enough trouble on the other site?
I am aware of the fact that we have gay foster parents posting on this site and I've seen your posts about your "partners" and such. I am totally prepared to be called a bigot and narrow minded and all that. I'm a big girl, I can take it but let's NOT HAVE THIS DISCUSSION anymore, please!
Janae

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by evansmum.

I'm keeping out of it on the other site, but I didn't promise anything here. So..... why is 3boysmom still getting harassed?

She DID what was asked of her on the other site, and she deleted her posts, and brought her questions here, HOPING that she might get an impartial answer with information and not condemnation.

THIS site is about SUPPORTING fellow foster parents, and not telling them that they're disgusting and wrong. And, just in case you aren't aware, THIS site probably isn't the best choice to spout off about the *awfulness* of gay/lesbian foster parents. Some of our most wonderful and amazing posters are in COMMITTED, MONOGAMOUS, and LOVING same sex relationships -and I'll tell you right now, from the amount of posting they do about receiving new placements, THEIR agencies and caseworkers don't seem to care what they're sexual orientation is.

Is it just me, or is anyone else reminded of that Motrin commercial? "It is the song that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend; some people started singing it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue singing it forever just because, it is the song that never ends....."

This argument will never end, and it's really getting old.

Have a good night everyone!! Dh should be home from work soon and I'm going to go make myself a tea! Hugs to everyone, even if you don't want one!! LOL

Meg

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by evansmum.

sorry janae, we must have posted at the same time. This was directed to Mariah.

I DO agree with the fact that this needs to be let go.... but I don't think that people have to be torn down in order for that to happen.

Meg

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by Lisa&Jason.

In Washington state your sexual orientation does not matter as a foster parent. I am extremely disappointed in the responses to this question. Please tell your friends that they may email me with any questions they may have.

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by aheath.

All of you bashers need to get a life! Stop judging people in the name of Christianity. 3boysmom didn't mention anything about sex! She is just posing a question and probably could care less about what your opinion is! Keep it to yourself! Those of you who are bashing in the name of Christianity will be judged for your behavior! The bible states "let he who has not sinned cast the first stone". Are you all saying that you have never sinned? Are you soooo good that you can cast the first stone? The bible teaches us to love others, be accepting and forgiving. Do you think you are going to convince people to become a Christian by bashing them? You all better watch your judgemental banter or you may end up in hell. I will pray for you.

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by 3boysmom.

Ok.............After I read Mariah's post I was ready to immediately jump with both feet, so I decided to take time to cool off before I posted anything.

So I painted my hallway, did a load of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and mopped the floors, and I am still steaming mad so here goes.

First off after Lucy's post I posted a thank you and I let it go, but no one else seems to be able to let it go.

Seceond, I deleted everything that I had posted at the other site because it was so upsetting to other people. I was asked to move it here so I did.

Can someone please make up my mind for me?

Now to get a few things straight. You can bash me all you want but under NO circumstances do you bring my children or my sister into it. My sister is alot of years younger than I am so is there fore like one of my children. She has no idea that I have even posted anything and she is not the one who I was looking for information for. She is very happily raising her partners beautiful daughters.

When you see a straight couple walking down the street do you think about them "sexing" each other? Personally I think that the act of sex itself is a nasty, disgusting thing! So if you do not think of what a man and woman are doing in the bed room why would you think about any other couple having sex?

Another thing, if it is so offensive why do you keep reading the posts? You know what is there, don't click on it. That would stop alot of the bickering.

Now my last point................ever wonder what would make some one gay/lesbian? Granted this is not true of all couples but since you wanted to bring my sister into this let me tell you a thing or two about what made her make the choices that she made.

Imagine being a 12 year old little girl, with all of your life ahead of you, popular, pretty, smart, and extremely involved with the church. Now imagine being that same little girl, at a youth church camp and having your youth minister climb in your tent and rape you.

Now tell me what would your thoughts be? Mine was to kill him, no other thoughts even entered my mind, she chose to help put him in jail for the rest of his life, which she did. She also from that day on swore that no other man would ever touch her and she stuck by that, she also stuck by her church and continutes to be actively involved with it. So before you start casting stone make sure that you know all of the facts.

I sit here with tears running down my cheeks and I want to thank you for dredging up all of those old memories. As you will notice if you took time to look I asked for POLICIES nothing more. In no way did I ever mention the word "sex" in ANY of my posts until this one.

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by TheCat.

((((((3boysmom)))))) Big hugs for ya. I'm so sorry for what happened to your sister, and sorry this had to bring up bad memories for ya.
Cat

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by ibpootie.

Hi, I'm new to this message board. I found my way here in an attempt to find information about gay adoption rights or any information on that subject.

I am very shocked to see all the gay bashing, especially from parents. I thought this was a site for all people. I am very saddened that biggots and people with hate in their hearts are allowed to adopt, foster, or bear children naturally. That's not what children should be learning and, in my opinion, those people really shouldn't be allowed to adopt or foster.

Anyway, with that off my chest, my heart goes out to 3boysmom for showing all the love and compassion due to a family member. I also want to thank LucyNJ for all the informative sites because that was what I was searching for when I came here.

To those of you that hate, all I can remind you of is that you should look deeply into your own family and be thankful that you are able to have children of your own and can adopt without criticism when you have love to give.

Pootie