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This message was originally posted by KellyY.

I just went back to work at the daycare I worked for awhile back and my boss approached me about a 15 year old girl who volunteers there and has been kicked out of her home after she told her mother that she was sexually abused by the father. Well she is in a group home now. My boss is very concerned about her because she is a good girl, gets straight A's and is worried that if she stays in this group home it will ruin her. She said she would love to have her but her mother is moving in with them and there is no room. She asked if our family would be interested in takng her. I have just never thought about taking in a teenager. And quite frankly I am a little afraid with all our younger ones but she sounds like she is very loving to little children. I am hoping to meet her when she comes back to the daycare. My kids ages are- Bio kids- BD 12, Bd 8, Bs 3 years old. Foster- ages 3 and 4 year old girls and a 2 month old baby son. Have any of you had any experience with this and what do you think? I mean I know I should meet her before even making a decision but I do feel for thispoor girl. And I kind of brought it up to our family and my oldest daughter said she wasnt sure about someone being older than her.
Just thought you all could shed some light!! thanks

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This message was originally posted by Vince.

Kelly, I would meet with the girl first and discuss the issues. I would also talk to her case worker--they have a hard time placing older children, so the case worker will probably be glad to talk to you.
And I would discuss it with my family. There is a good chance that you will have this girl for another three years, so I would get things lined up first.

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This message was originally posted by LucyNJ.

Usually foster parents warn against taking children older than your own. Your daughter has expressed concerns about this as well. The decison to foster her needs to be a family one. Everyone needs to be in agreement. She sounds like a terrific kid, what a sad situation.

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This message was originally posted by jolean12.

She sounds like a great kid..but you need to talk with her and your family.

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This message was originally posted by jolean12.

She sounds like a great kid..but you need to talk with her and your family. Make sure it is the right decision for all.

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This message was originally posted by KellyY.

Okay now I have another onstacle about this girl. I talked with her today and she seems very sweet. Well my boss from the daycare kind of told her maybe I would take her and she never asked or anything. She said she would love to get out of the group home. School is very important to her and it is hard for her to study at the group home because they take them places all the time at night. Well my husband is afraid of her because of her being sexually abused. He is so afraid if she lived with us and what if she accused him of abusing her if she got upset at us or something. I really wouldnt mind looking more into her situation and to see if she could start visiting with us or something but we are kind of afraid. What do you all think?
Vince, havent you taken older children?

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This message was originally posted by hope4kids.

Your husband's concern is a valid one. False accusations do happen. I don't know how often. I do know I had a teen recently who could have no contact with men at all because she had made many false accusations. She was good with me, but I had to watch her carefully and be very aware of the places I took her.

Also from my experience, teens in group homes can seem very sweet. I visit this young lady in the group home. Every single one of the teens there seems as sweet as they can be. But there has to be a stpry behind why each one is there.

I do think her desire to be in a home would make it more likely to work out. I would take a teen again if it weren't for the way it affected my 5 year old. It was just too much for her to be displaced as the oldest. How do you think an older child would affect your family dynamics?

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This message was originally posted by Vince.

Kelly, we have taken two girls who were twelve, and neither one accused me of anything. However, the first one went home after three days (they located her father), and we had to send the other one away after 24 days.

We had a twelve year old son for thirteen wonderful months, and he accused me of cruelty--I made him do homework on the first day of school. He called his bio mom and DSS on me. Other than that, the little monkey didn't try anything.

Your husband could discuss his fears with the case worker and perhaps the girl. If he has to stay away from her, it could be a long three years.

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This message was originally posted by Micki.

Sounds complicated.

It also sounds like you have lots going on in your home with 3 bio and 3 foster children.

She may need more of your attention than you can truly afford to give her. Some teen girls who have been abused, not to mention been rejected by their mothers (disgusting), are super needy.

Your husband may need to make sure he is never alone with her and that can become a hassle for the whole family.

I myself considered taking young teen girls, because I feel so much like I can relate to them (being an abused girl myself). I can see a certain behavior and recognize exactly what's going on with them.

However, I'm not the only one in my house. I have to consider my husband and my young bio daughter.

You may feel so strongly that you want to do the right thing by her. Maybe, the right thing for her would be to be in a home where there are no men, or other children? It's so hard to say.

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This message was originally posted by Micki.

IF you do decide to take her, I'd make sure the rules were CLEARLY outlined for her, even the obvious details may need to be explained and written out for her, especially if you have a rule that she is never to be alone with your spouse.

She may feel like she can't abide by the rules of you home and decide not to live with you of her own accord.

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This message was originally posted by mom22many.

We had a 10 year old sexually abused girl with us for 2 years. She was also delayed and we were told that hubby was never to be alone with her EVER!!! There always had to be another person-adult or child old enough to use as a witness- in the room with them. It was tough but there were no allegations and no issues surrounding it at all while she was in our care. Hubby was scared for the first while by the uncertainty though. We do respite for a couple of teen girls as well. We only do teens without issues for this though as i have a 15 year old of my own. My teen has the option of saying never again after the first weekend and then if she says bring her back she has to treat her as a friend. This works for us. When the girls come they have a great time going to the mall and the movies and inviting my daughters other friends over for sleepovers. Ok now that i am off topic again...................... Hubby makes it a habit to never be alone with them either and it has not been too much of a hassle as our dd is always with them as well.