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#1
03-12-2003, 02:50 PM
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I don't believe it. Our first child, our first major disappointment with the system.
This message was originally posted by MariaMom.
Just heard that M is going back to alcoholic biodad. The judge just ruled that the state has not enough evidence to keep M. in foster care. This after biodad testified in family court that he doesn't need to childproof his home because M. isn't allowed to look in the cabinets under the bathroom sinks and besides Chlorox isn't poisonous anyway so what's the big deal? Augh! 
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#2
03-12-2003, 04:23 PM
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This message was originally posted by megwing.
Grrr! My advice - don't take another placement right away in case M. comes back into care pretty quick... Megan
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#3
03-12-2003, 05:33 PM
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Child proofing
This message was originally posted by LucyNJ.
In my opinion, child proofing everything is a good idea if you have a lot of very young children, but totally overrated if you stay on top of your child. The only thing I have ever child proofed was the electrical outlets. But...I had one child, who also wasn't allowed to wonder off unsupervised.
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#4
03-12-2003, 05:42 PM
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Supervision, yep, that's the key.
This message was originally posted by MariaMom.
Being passed-out drunk while one's child is loose in the house is not adequate supervision for any child. I'm sure you didn't mean that it was; I am merely making a point that that is what M. is going home to.
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#5
03-13-2003, 07:49 AM
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This message was originally posted by jolean12.
I am so sorry that you have had to go through this already  Sometimes you wonder what these people are thinking.
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#6
03-13-2003, 08:19 PM
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This message was originally posted by annie.
Mariamom, Hi, I am sorry to hear of your dissappointment. How long has M. been in your care? I am afraid I could be in the same vote soon. We have 2 boys in our care, and this Wed. will be one month, and it goes to court, and I don't know alot about the case, but I am very nervous about the outcome. The boys are doing great, teachers are commenting on their improvements in school, but I am just afraid of what they might go home to? Megan, Great advice, that is also one of my concerns, that if we take in another child, and the boys return to care that will start them down the road of home to home to home.......and in their eyes...nowhere to call home! Annie.
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#7
03-14-2003, 05:45 AM
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This message was originally posted by jolean12.
Annie We will be going to court next Weds. also. I will be praying that the judge really looks out for the best interest of your boys. We are praying that our judge does the same for our fs.
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#8
03-14-2003, 06:11 AM
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Got a copy of the court opinion
This message was originally posted by MariaMom.
And now I see where the judge is coming from. He expresses serious reservations about the home M. is going back to, but also says that despite his own warnings over the weeks before the trial to the state attorney and the child's GAL that their case needed bolstering with other grounds, they did not present any other grounds until the closing arguments when the father and his attorney had no time to adequately argue against those grounds. He put in the opinion that he believes the father to have a serious alcohol problem and numerous other problems, so he did see that. And the requirements on the dad are pretty stringent. Trouble is, once M. is back in his care, the state has to fight to get him back, which is a lot harder than fighting to keep him in care once he's already in. He's still with us for now; not sure when the transfer actually happens. Funny thing is, my DH and I were talking last night about attachment and saying goodbye to these kids. DH has always said he had his doubts about doing foster care because of what the goodbyes would do to his emotional wife.  But when it actually happens, guess who is so attached he's falling apart?
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#9
03-17-2003, 06:11 AM
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This message was originally posted by jolean12.
I am still praying for M and your family. Please keep us posted.
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#10
03-17-2003, 06:37 AM
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Joelle, that is so appreciated.
This message was originally posted by MariaMom.
M. is supposed to go home later this morning, provided the last inspection of his home goes well. We haven't told him anything. I haven't even been able to pack because that will give it away, and his dad is so unpredictable that I don't feel right telling M. until we're positive that his dad will do what he's supposed to so M. can go home. I'd hate to disappoint M. We're just trying to give him a good time every minute that we have him. Yesterday was a real gift. Gorgeous late-May-like weather. It reached 71 here! We worked/played in the yard all afternoon after church and then built a fire in the fire pit and roasted hotdogs on sticks for supper and watched the gorgeous full moon. It should make for some good memories for him. Thank you so much for your prayers for him (and for us).
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#11
03-17-2003, 11:01 AM
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He's gone.
This message was originally posted by MariaMom.
Dad made things as stinky as possible for the social worker but she had to comply with the court order, so M. just went home. I didn't tell him what was going on until she came. I didn't want to leave any extra room for disappointments. Little A. saw him leave and said, "No! I need M_______! He wuv me!" Argh!
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#12
03-18-2003, 07:57 AM
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This message was originally posted by jolean12.
I am so sorry Like everyone said just be on the lookout for him to come back into care. I am praying for God to watch over M and take care of him.
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#13
03-18-2003, 10:18 AM
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This message was originally posted by Amara.
I am sorry to hear they are sending him there under those circumstances. Just remember, once a child is in the system, there may be a chance he returns to you. It is always hard for the first one to go home, I had the first taken from me in Feb. and it crushed me. Took me awhile to get to the point where I am now. She is in a foster home and being taken care of, not with her "parents", for that I am thankful. *Hugs to you* Amara
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#14
05-08-2003, 10:35 AM
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This message was originally posted by SmackyMouth.
I couldn't help but associate with your comment on your husband's worrying about you and the attachment issues. We are just now beginning the licensing process. My husband has said no for years because he says I couldn't handle it. It took me a while to realize that he's the one he's worried won't be strong enough. Can you provide an update on M? Do you know anything? I'm sorry to ask but I'm new to the site/board and just got so caught up reading this thread!
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