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This message was originally posted by Christie.

Hi. My husband and I are thinking about becoming foster parents. I was wondering if anyone could answer the following questions. I've been married for almost two years, and we have no plans for children of our own in the near future. This may sound strange, but I have had a very strong feeling to look into the possibility of becoming Foster Parents.

1. Are there different types of fostercare programs?

2. What is the usual time that children are in the home?

3. Are there any short term fostercare programs?

4. What are the pros and cons?

5. Any Advice for someone considering this?

Thanks,
Christie

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This message was originally posted by Nix Zoo.

Hmmm. Different types of foster parenting...
There are Traditional Homes, that take in average children.
There are Specialized Homes that take in ADD/ADHD children that may have behavioral issues (this is a wide range).
There are Treatment Homes that take in children with VERY special needs, such as feeding tubes, apnea monitors, nebulizers, physical therapy...etc.

Is this what you mean?

Time in the home: that varies, greatly. Foster care USUALLY has a goal of "Return Home" to mom or dad. This may take 24 hours or YEARS, you are not positive with any child/family. Some children are open for adoption & placed in a foster home that would like to adopt them. One set of 4 that I had went home after 24 hours. One set of 4 stayed with us for over 5 months. The set I have now is open for adoption, there is an adoptive home for them but are waiting for some issues with another child in THAT home to calm down, then they may go to that home. OR they may stay here for YEARS...ya just never know.

Short term foster: There are options open for this also. Respite Care, where a foster family may go on vacation (---or just need a vacation from the kids) & can't take the foster kids with them. These children will ideally be placed back with their foster family after the vacation (sometimes foster parents need Respite Care for an impending birth in their family or possibly a medical procedure will leave them unable to care for the extra kids for a couple of weeks).
Emergency Care: Is when you will take the kids for their first 1 or 2 nights in foster care, while the agency finds a foster home for them. A family I know did Emergency Care & never had a child for longer than 48 hours.

Pros & Cons will get you LOTS of replies...hehehe. I personally feel there are MORe Pros than cons. You will be opening your heart & home to a child or children that simply need a safe, steady, trustworth, loving place to be. You get to experience a childhood through the eyes of another child, most times VERY different from the eyes you looked through as a child. You can help heal & mend a spirit. You can give a child a chance to BE somebody, to DO something..sometimes all they need is a support team, you can be that for a child. All it takes is love & patience.
My cons: Have you ever taken 6 kids to Walmart or the grocery store? LOL How about the Pediatricians office & you all don't fit into the exam room, but the OLDEST child is the one that needs to be seen. LOL This year I will be smarter, I will plan the parent/teacher conferences accordingly, so I don't have to RACE from school to school, with only a minute or two to spare..skidding to a halt, at the door of the correct classroom, with a double stroller & DRAGGING 3 more children from my purse string! LOL How many kids can legally be on a trampoline at one time? No, you can't let multiple children ride bareback on the poor dog. No, there is NO dancing, with high heels, on my antique dining room table. Please get down from the chandelier, & get your sister down also. There is NO box-riding down the stairs. The cat can NOt sleep in your dresser drawer, please OPEN it & let him out. I told you yesterday to NOT brush the dogs teeth with MY toothbrush, please use yours. LOL You can not ALL fit in my bed. WHY does the dog have Fruit Loops in her bowl???? I KNOW the cat likes tunafush, but please don't let him have his own can. Who was playing in my underware drawer????! I don't wear your shoes, I have no idea WHERE they are. It is 7AM, you could have let me know SOONER that you have NO pants to wear to school today...either go in your boxers & grab the cleanest dirty pair you can find. We found out, the hard way, that a ballpit ball fits nicely in the toilet. It is FREEZING outside, you can NOT wear Daisy Dukes to play in the snow.

This is the life of parenthood. Be it Foster parenting or not.
When the kids are happy, so is the mom....when the mom is happy, so are the kids. Once you have kids in your home, you will not remember what your life meant to you before they came. It will not matter anymore. Children take a place in your heart & make it their own. They live there, they thrive there. They make your life total chaos, but you wouldn't have it any other way.
Good luck on your decision, it is a BIG one.
Many happy & sad times are just waiting for you, all you have to do is open the door.
With love,

[Archive]

This message was originally posted by michelleepooh.

Nikki,

That was very well said! I'm sure we can all relate to that. I think it is also important to be flexible and patient, which is evident from your post. Good luck Christie.

michelle

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This message was originally posted by Nix Zoo.

I did mess up one of my lines....about the child who had NO clean pants..it should have read, "It is 7AM, you could have let me know SOONER that you have NO pants to wear to school today...either go in your boxers ...OR... grab the cleanest dirty pair you can find." ROTF! Ya do what ya gotta do sometimes. He did not make that mistake again. His dirty clothing found it's way to the LAUNDRY room, EVERY day, after this incident.
Thanks for the swollen head, SSssssssssssssswwwooooosssssh!