[NanaMarie]

Hello all, I have been reading a lot of the message boards and enjoying seeing the support that is given. However, I notice most seem to be from outside Canada and the rules appear to be somewhat different. Curious to know if there are other Canadians taking advantage of this resource.

[evansmum]

Hi,

My husband and I are foster parents in Ontario (near Ottawa). We've been fostering for a little less than 2 years now. Our newest "addition" is D, who's been here almost 4 months. We are expecting to transition him home within a month or so. Our Resource Worker (who makes the placements) is just ITCHING for us to call him when D goes home. He's called a couple times with placements that we weren't comfortable taking while D is here - he's a VERY VERY active toddler, and they wouldn't mesh well.

Welcome to the boards. I originally came to these forums because I am adopted, but when we started fostering, I stuck around .....

[NanaMarie]

Hey Meghan,

Nice to meet you. If you don't mind me asking when did you adopt? You said you had been fostering for 2 years did you adopt first and then decide to foster? Or did you adopt one of your foster children? Sorry to be so nosey and you don't have to answer I'm just naturally curious.

Take care. Marie

[evansmum]

Hi NanaMarie,

No, we haven't adopted...... yet

We have one bio - Evan - who's 4 1/2, and one foster baby at the moment - D - who's 20 mos. D has been here since June, and was *supposed* to go home next week, but that's not going to happen now (VERY long story). Who knows how long we'll have him now? I'd just like to know if he's going to be here for Xmas, because I absolutely despise last minutes Xmas shopping!! lol

I was adopted when I was almost a year old, and I started coming to this particular site to try and find my birth parents. Once we became foster parents, I just sort of stuck around.

Another wonderful site to check out for foster parents (and there are probably a dozen or so Canadians on that particular site) is

http://www.fosterparents.com/phpBB2/index.php

Have a great day!!!

[NanaMarie]

I'm sorry for misunderstanding your earlier message .. thats what I get for reading fast and getting older.

Before I know you did say that you were waiting for D to leave before taking another placement .. is this a foster placement or possible adoption?

I know what you mean about last minute Xmas shopping .. my family laughs at me because I shop all year for Xmas .. and this year I have gone one step further and even wrapped what I have already bought.

We are not sure if our little ones will be here at Christmas or not .. but I have bought presents for them anyway and will be making their Christmas stockings within the next few weeks I hope. Its become a tradition for us to decorate felt stockings with each of our little ones with their name on it . I try and send them with the little ones when they leave but sometimes they are not wanted so we keep them and remember the fun we had making them.

Thanks for the other web site .. will try and check it out soon.

Hugs, Marie

[NanaMarie]

ooops forgot to ask .. did you find your birth parents?

[evansmum]

Not so much that we're waiting until he goes home to take another one - we've had a few "mini placements" since he's been here (2 weeks respite of a 4 month old boy, emergency 4am placement of a 15 month old, respite for a 13 y/o). The Resource Worker wanted to place a 2 y/o girl here, but she needed extremely gentle care (medically fragile, I think) and my D is a BRUTE!!! He's 100% ALL boy!! LOL So I told the RW that if they were still looking for a placement for J after D leaves, then we'd discuss it then.

We **almost** got a little girl from the hospital a few weeks ago, but at the 11th hour (suprise surprise!!) RW called and said that her parents are going to be allowed to give parenting a shot. I hope it works out for them.

We got hit with a HUGE bomb Tuesday morning regarding D. He was supposed to go home on the 6th or 7th, and now the visits are suspended because Dad refused to take a drug test. I was so hoping that he'd get his head on straight and get D back. It really looked like it was going okay, too.....

I guess we'll see. Dad tried to call the office today (which would have been a visit day) and ask the secretary why I wasn't there yet..... the caseworker is out of the office today. The secretary called me and asked if there was a visit scheduled. I said that the cw called me yesterday and said all visits were suspended until she told me otherwise, and once they start again, they'll be supervised at the office (used to be all weekend unsup.).

The things we do as foster parents. I definitely lucked out though - found a really cute hallowe'en costume (remember, he wasnt' supposed to be here) marked down to $12.99 yesterday.

So now, I will be dragging a Buzz Lightyear and a Cowardly Lion (Wizard of Oz) in a wagon tomorrow night!! What fun!!! How come Adam always gets to stay home and hand out candy???? :P

Meg

[evansmum]

Look -I forgot too!! LOL

I haven't found my mother yet, but did find my father's family. Unfortunately my father passed away a few years ago.

Meg

[NanaMarie]

You are so funny!! Trying to make me feel better.

I am lucky because having grandkids we have a box of costumes saved plus after halloween for the past few years I have picked up a few more for about $5.00 each. Still have to see what each of my three will wear though. M-L wants to be a unicorn again this year ... she looked so cute last year .. I think we have a lion costume that will fit one of the other ones .. this is the first year that I have had 3 little ones usually its only 2 .. so can't remember what else is in the box .. it will be a surprise for all of us.

Sorry to hear you didn't get to meet your dad .. was his family accepting of you? Are you still looking for bmom and family or not?

Sometimes I really wonder about the moms and dads of these little ones ... just when you think they have it together they mess up again. I know we had a little girl here a little over a year ago for about 6 months who did go back to Mom but recently I was contacted to see if I would take her again .. unfortunately my spaces are filled so I had to decline .. but my heart went out to the little girl .. she was so excited to be going home to Mom.

All we can do is love them while they are 'on loan' to us and pray for them always even after they leave.

Have a great day .. gotta get out of here and try and get some work done while little ones are still napping.

Hugs. Marie

[y2jasmine]

Can't believe I never responded to this..

I'm a Canadian foster parent. Hubby and I live in Northern Ontario and we've been fostering 2 brothers, aged 9 and 10, since early June. The boys are currently interim Wards of the Crown but will likely be declared Wards of the Crown this month.

They are our first and only placement, we were approved only in late May of this year. So far though it has been great. Well, I mean, they've been great...but there has been some hard times for them, including the fact their mom tricked us last night and ended up phoning and talking to them when she wasn't supposed to! She actually got a little boy to call and ask for the boys, so we figured it was a friend or cousin of theirs (normal for them to call)...but then she picked up the phone. Anyhow...that's another story.

We're also looking to adopt a little girl under the age of 3. We're just about approved...but not quite there yet. We've done all the visits and medicals and police checks just waiting for the paperwork to go through.

Jasmine...

[evansmum]

Good luck with the adoption "road". We're approved both foster and adopt, so whatever they throw at us we're ready!!

It sucks when the bios mess around with the kids like that. You need to let your c/w know that she called when she wasn't supposed to, though. I'm doing the exact same thing, this fine Monday morning!! (at least it's not raining, right??) Our fs bio called and wanted to see him on Friday - although all visits are suspended pending a drug test, which as far as I know, he hasn't done yet (although he tried to tell my hubby on the phone that he DID).

It's frustrating for us (and the kids) to go through, but the bios are only hurting themselves in the end. There is a reason your boys are going to crown ward, and it's not YOU!!!! lol Sometimes I wonder what goes through their heads. It's such a big production to see their kids, but all they had to do is work their caseplan in the first place.

Our fs was supposed to go home this Thurs. but I don't think that's going to happen now - although with our agency, ya never know!!! Stranger things have happened, that's for sure. I know all the agencies (esp in Ontario with that little boy in London being killed in Oct) are starting to crack down, and one "mess up" by the bios, and it's THAT much harder to get their kids back....

I hope "someone" figures out what is going to happen to our fs. Every day he's here, he's getting more and more attached... and frankly, so are we. He was originally here for a set period of time, but that went out the window within the first couple months... lol

Gotta get the munchkins ready to go to playgroup! Have a great day!!!

Meg

[y2jasmine]

Meg...

We are calling CAFS this morning about the call from the mom. Officially, she is not allowed to phone ever. She has been told numerous times that if she wishes to see them she must come back to town (she moved away in July and hasn't seen them since). Their court date is coming up and that is why we think she called.

I really hope things get settled with your fs soon. It is awful to have kids put in limbo like that. Our fcs were placed with us in early June only supposed to be with us for 3 months...it has now been almost 5. Fortunately for them and for us we know that the odds of them going back to mom are slim to none (this is their 3rd foster home...they have been going back and forth for a while, but with mom's antics this time it doesn't look good to going back). They have been made aware of this for months now so they have not been thinking they are going back. We have let them know it is totally up to the judge tho. It must be SOOOO much harder when the child is so young like D.

Do you know when you are supposed to find out about when/if D is going back? I hope for your sake that it is very soon. We've been waiting since September for this court date...course it gave us lots of time to prepare the boys.

Jasmine

[NanaMarie]

Hi Jasmine and Meg,

Hope you both had good week-ends! How was Halloween .. lots of trick or treaters?

Jasmine glad to see you are phoning right away about Mom calling the fc when she is not supposed to. I have yet to figure out why they try to get around the system. We actually had a Mom take the brothers of one of our foster children from another foster home. Needless to say that did not go over well. Just so you know it seems they all try to different lengths.

Do you have the little girl living with you now or are you on a waiting list? Sorry I am pretty nosy I know.
SW just called to let me know visits have been suspended on one of my current foster daughters indefinitely. This is the second one that will have no visits with birth family.

Well better go .. they are currently eating snacks and by the sounds of things snacks are all gone.

[y2jasmine]

Hi Nana!

We had LOTS of kids...around 130! The boys both came home with 2/3 of a pillowcase full of candy/chips/etc. They had tons of fun which was great for them!

It's amazing what some parents will do...but then again, I realize I probably would want to do the same kinds of things if someone took my kids away. Sometimes you just don't think rationaly.

We don't have a little girl placed with us yet. We're not sure if that's because they don't have one available or whether there is one already in a foster home who will be placed with us once we are approved for adoption. We are ready for her when she comes though. Since we hope her to be under the age of 3, we have a room already with a crib, change table, rocking chair, and we've bought the basic essentials for baby too.

We still are not sure whether we will be able to keep the boys once we get our little girl. CAFS has let us know that normally you are not able to foster for 6 months after you have your adoption placement...but they are going to recommend to the director that he allow the boys to stay with us. They have had a complete turn around in the 5 months they have been with us. Their tempermant has 100% changed, they were doing badly in school but now are doing much better, etc. Most of the workers believe that it would be best if they stayed with us if it is possible. Infact, we've even heard from 3 different people from the agency that they talk about how amazing the whole situation with the kids has been. One person even joked that he wished he could clone us.


nana...so you have 3 little ones? What are their ages and how long have you had them? Any biological ones? Just curious...
About the visits....Ours haven't had an official visit since early July....she even missed the yougest's birthday. *sighs* What can you do tho...

[evansmum]

Well, I hunted down the c/w this afternoon, and there's going to be a visit AT the agency tomorrow morning IF anyone can get ahold of dad. After that, who knows? Talking to another foster parent this morning though - she said if Dad's refusing to do the drug test, then it's probably safe to start buying D's Christmas presents. I'll wait and see how it goes at court Thursday. The judge may have a completely different view and decide to send him home anyway, right?

Waiting now for a call from the Resource Worker. Talked to him for a few minutes earlier and it looks like they are wanting to place a 3 y/o here as well. Dh and I discussed it, and as long as it's not a stupid "we don't know how long he'll be there; he may go home tomorrow" deal, we'll probably take him. THAT will be it for our placements until someone goes home. 2 plus Evan is enough for me!! LOL I'm outnumbered by males as it is. Even our dog and cat are male.

Marie: we bought for 200 kids and ran out at 7:30 friday night!!! The boys did well, one full bag between the two of them. D almost didn't go. We put him down for a nap at 4 - he was absolutely miserable (crabby, tired, etc). He woke up at 5 and was fine though, so off we went!!! Went right back to sleep after we got home at 7, though, so I know he was definitely tired.

Got a couple pics of them, but hubby had the camera, so they came out kinda fuzzy!!

Off to do the dishes before dinner! I was out at a meeting all afternoon, so it was just "the guys" home, and whew! Who would have thought they could make this much of a mess in 3 hours?????

Meg