[evansmum]

jasmine - we posted at the same time! lol

As for your boys, our Agency policy is no NEW placements for 6 mos - 1 yr after adoption. The kids you have would stay with you if that's what you wanted.

HTH,

Meg

[NanaMarie]

Meg ... 200 children .. wow .. hubby thought we were doing good with the 50 or so we got here. Mind you other years we have had maybe a dozen. At work we had a total of 11 trick or treaters come so the residents got the balance of the candy that was to be handed out. Needless to say they were not complaining.

and Jasmine 130 .. you must live in areas where there are lots of kids. There are a lot kids around us but we are on a bay at the end of a main street so little ones get tired way before they get to our place.

Jasmine, right now we have 2 one year olds and 1 two year old living with us. The 2 year old has been with us since she was 11 months old. The two one year olds have been with us 4 months and 2 months respectively. I have two grown children and 4 grandchildren so I really am a nana.

Our 2 year old has two afternoon visits a week at the moment but this is supposed to change sometime in the near future we are just not sure when. As of today neither of the two younger ones will be having visits in the near future.

Right now my pet peeve is SW's who place children in your home but then don't bother to visit or phone or contact you in any way. This has happened on several occassions .. and usually occurs more often when the SW has not had to physically bring the child to our home but has got somebody else to do it for them or arranged through our support worker for us to pick them up at a shelter. Have you ever encountered this?

Take care.

Marie

[NanaMarie]

Hi All,

Not much happening on this thread but I thought I would update everybody on what has been happening here.

One of our fd was transferred to another agency after becoming a permanent ward .. she was then promptly moved from our home to a foster home licensed by that agency. This poor little one was so upset and to top it off they still have not come back for her toys, etc. that they couldn't fit in the car when they took her. Needless to say I cried lots .. but then again I do everytime one of the little ones leave .. just sometimes its harder to let go than others.

The next day after she left .. we had a NB placed with us. She is so tiny .. its been awhile and slowly we are adjusting to having one this young with us and loving every minute.

Our other two fd's were a little upset about the one leaving and then the new one coming and needing so much attention but things are slowly settling down and everybody is becoming more comfortable with each other.

Hope all is well with those of you reading this thread. I feel like I am talking to myself .. but with three little ones under the age of 3 .. that seems to be a regular occurence around here.

Take care

Marie

[y2jasmine]

Nana...sorry to hear you feel like you're talking to yourself. I subscribed to this thread but they never emailed me about it until today.

It must have been hard on your two fd's to see the other one leaving. It must be awful for the one moved too. Being moved to a new home and getting seperated is hard enough, nevermind the having to leave toys and other stuff behind.

On the other hand... About the NB...that is so nice to hear, I can't wait to get a call about our "baby".

Life over at our house has had it's ups and downs. The boys no longer have their weekly visits with their aunt and so that caused some issues. The oldest really reacted outwards in a negative manner after he heard that, didn't want to listen at home and almost got suspended from school. BUT, after breaking down to hubby and crying, he's been doing much better. It was actually the first time he's cried for sadness since the first week he arrived, he likes to hold his feelings of hurt inside and only release feeling of joy or anger.

This Sunday is the Adoption Resource Exchange (ARE) in Toronto. The boys will be profiled at the exchange as children that are available for "fostering-to-adopt". Since they have a lot stacked against them, it is unlikely they will get picked by anyone. Which, although sad, may be a good thing as it means they will not be moving to another home yet again.

Also regarding the exchange, our adoption worker will be looking to see if there are any prospective little native girls that would fit our requirements/wants. She is somewhat hopeful as native kids often are profiled at the exchange as they are considered harder to be adopted. I'm keeping my fingers and toes crossed that she will find someone that may suit us.

So, that's my life.... How about you Meg???

Jasmine

[evansmum]

A, our 3 y/o (who came a couple weeks ago) has bronchitis and a sinus infection - so pretty miserable. His bios are fighting the agency tooth and nail, and it's getting pretty dirty.

D, our "baby" is going home next week, and it was just like getting kicked in the stomach when the cw called this afternoon. She had told me just this past wednesday that he'll probably be with us for Cmas, and then today calls to say he's going home right after court next week. :*( hopefully for his sake, bios can get it together and raise him well.

I'm going to be subpoenaed to court for A in December - not sure how that works. It was because of some things he said to *me* that the worker would rather have me there to explain, instead of hearsay..... I'm sick to my stomach thinking about it - not one for speaking in public. Do either of you know what happens there? What do they do? Am I actually on the "stand"? Good lord, I didn't sign up for THIS!! LOL

Okay, off to watch DOOL and get myself to bed. The boys are all sleeping, and Mommy's tired!

Meg

[NanaMarie]

Jasmine,

Sounds like you have had a rough time of it with the boys .. I hope things are more settled now.

I'm a little confused ... we were fostering several native children, in fact R-L was native which was why she was moved from our home as the native agency took over her case when she became permanent ward. My understanding from the two native agencies that I have had dealings with is that they do not believe in adoption but instead get native families to take the children in under guardianship. Am I misunderstanding your message .. do native children actually become available for adoption?

Meg -- I was only asked to appear in court one time .. and it was a small courtroom but I was sworn in and gave my testimony like in a regular court room. It was pretty nerve racking but I don't think it was as formal as a regular court room might have been. Does that help any?

Hope you both have a good week-end.

Take care

Marie

[y2jasmine]

Meg...sounds like you've had a tough week with the news about D. {{{HUGS}}} I hope that bios do take good care of him.

I've never had to go to court, so I'm sorry I can't help much with that. I don't imagine it's this long speech or anything, probably just a yes or no with a short explanation when the judge asks for your opinion. Good luck with that!


Marie....native children can become available for adoption in Ontario. I'm not sure of all the specifics, but it has to be with the band's (reserve's) ok. Some agencies are pretty picky about who native children are and are not placed with. With us, since we were orignally approved under a native fostering agency, they had to call us when the boys came into care as we are the only approved foster home with the agency and they prefer native homes with these boys due to their background with non-native foster homes.

[NanaMarie]

WOW .. I can't believe I haven't made it back to this thread since before Christmas and I started it. "slapping my hand"

In my defence I have to say that things were a little scattered after my grandson was diagnosed with ALL .. with mega trips to the hospital during his stay there and several touch and go days and nights when we were not sure he was going to come through. Thank goodness now things are looking better .. still some bad days especially after chemo treatments .. but for the most part he is more himself.

Well Christmas was quiet for us but everybody had fun opening presents (well except the baby). Yes we still have her .. she was 3 months old this week and such a sweetheart .. I love her to pieces (as I do all of them) and will be crying when her "forever family" is found.

It is expected that our 1 1/2 year old will be made permanent ward either this month (if bmom doesn't show up for court) or in April for sure. Then she will be transferred to the native agency and probably moved to a native foster home (yet more tears to shed).

Our almost 3 year old is already a permanent ward and will be with us for some time as I understand it. In a few weeks she will be starting preschool two days a week so she can be with kids her own age and hopefully improve her social skills and language .. although I thought she spoke well.

I am imagining that by summer we will probably have 2 new placements .. or maybe 3 as they are asking us to increase our number to 4 spaces when our license is renewed. At the moment we are not sure about whether we will do this .. but on the other hand if a sibling group needs a placement we might be willing to take the extra little one. Does that make sense?

Enough rambling. Hope everybody who is reading this had a gread holiday season .. that the new year has started off with a bang and things are going well in all your homes.

Hugs to all {{{HUGS}}}}
Marie

[NanaMarie]

I know there are some Canadian foster parents around .. albeit only a few at this site.

My Miss Boots has a sibling visit today with her half brother and sister. This is the first visit in more than six months .. so I am just a little anxious as to the outcome. Also there was a court date last week regarding her status and so far haven't heard from the SW how it went .. hopefully today I will hear.

Besides that things are pretty quiet. Miss Piggy is expected to join her "forever family" by the end of March which will be sad and happy all at the same time.

Hope everybody else is enjoying their fostering experience. Anybody interested in forming an internet type support group to share experiences and knowledge please feel free to jump aboard.

Hugs

Marie

[NanaMarie]

Just talked to the SW on the phone. Would you believe she reamed me out for Paul staying for the visit? Or I should say she tried to ... I was very bad and interrupted her to let her know that she should have kept us in the loop of communication. If she was including Mom in the visit we should have been advised and also should have been made aware that doctors clearance for visits had been received. Also I told her that as far as Paul could tell nobody was supervising the visit and it was supposed to be supervised according to what she told me before. To this I was told Grandma was supposed to supervise the visit and Paul being there really upset Mom as he was too overprotective of Miss Boots. He was supposed to just drive her there drop her off, to who knows who, leave and then come back for her an hour later. At the end of this conversation she told me that Mom was going to have a couple more visits, we are not allowed to be present at; that Miss Boots was a permanent ward now and her file would be transferred to another worker within the next week or so. It was an interesting conversation .. and I think I surprised her by standing up to her .. but somebody has to watch out for Miss Boots and the rest of my family .. and considering it took her four months to even contact us after Miss Boots was placed here .. I don't imagine she would care too much either way. Sorry .. guess it upset me more than it should have.

[mom to 3]

I was guided here by another site, it might even have been Evansmum. We were foster parents who adopted our first placement and his brother. We have put fostering on hold while we try to normalize their lives.
BTDT pretty well sums up our experiences even though we only fostered for a short time.

[evansmum]

Hello ladies!!

Our thread is slacking off... lol

Our update:

A, our (then) 3 y/o is STILL here - been almost a year now. He came to us last fall right after Hallowe'en. He turned 4 over the summer, is starting school in a few days, has started KinderGym, speech therapy, and is on the waiting list for the psychologist. Poor dude has a busier schedule than my hubby! LOL Showing no signs of going home - bio was MIA for 8 weeks over the summer, and has shown up 3x since then.

We also have a 2 y/o FTA placement, who's been here 4 months now, and aside from the typical *attiTWOde* he's just a doll! I'm actually thinking that HE may end up being reunified though, and I'm even looking forward to it. His parents are very young, but not bad people at all. I think they just needed some time to grow up a bit, and when it goes to trial, I'm betting they'll get him back.

Our previous fs (D) is doing fairly well at home with dad and step-mom. I am still *mama*, and I have no problem with that. We still see them quite often, taking him a couple times for the weekend. I also had the overwhelming JOY of being there for his first day of nursery school!!! Just being in the right place at the right time (was driving by when dad was walking him in)!!! He was like, MAMA!!! and ran right to me. Just melted my heart, he did -- well, he always does.

So how's everyone else doing??!?!?!

Meg

[NanaMarie]

Hey everybody,

We haven't had much of a summer here .. I think we can probably count the warm days on one hand. LOL It would be nice to see a few more days of sunshine before the snow comes again.

Surprising we still Miss Piggy (our baby at 10 months) .. after all this time it is really going to be hard to say goodbye to her when the time comes. She now has 8 teeth, is semi-crawling, does the motions for pat-a-cake and knows and initiates the action we use for I love you. A real sweetheart.

In fact our placements haven't changed .. we still have Miss Boots (she will be 2 in October) who has had a great summer splashing in puddles and skinny dipping on the few warm days. She is doing so well learning her ABC's, started potty-training, dresses herself, and loves to help with whatever I am doing, be it cooking or cleaning. You can imagine how this turns out at times.

Miss Kitty is still with us two its been 2.5 years now and at present it looks like she will be here for some time. She now goes to preschool 2 days a week (she turned 3 in April) and just loves it. However, so far she is still having potty accidents there .. she has it set in her mind that the only bathroom she can use is ours at home.

Our licensing comes up this month and we are still considering a 4th placement .. it will really depend on the age that they want us to take. I am not sure we can handle another one under 3 years old .. but somebody in kindergarten or grade 1 would fit in.

We still expect a call any day to say that Miss Piggy's permanent family has been found .. but in the meantime we are enjoying our time with each of them.

My grandson has not been doing so well over the summer months and has had to pretty much be house bound as his immune system is just not getting better. A few times we had thought he would need transfusions or further hospitalization but thankfully he has remained at home.

My granddaughters (his sisters) are anxious to get back to school and spend time with their friends .. its been hard for them to do much of anything either because they didn't want to leave their brother out.

OK so I have rambled again ... sorry .. don't get on the computer much these days but am glad some of you are continuing to keep in touch on this thread.

Hugs to all

Marie

[mom to 3]

grandson is on treatment for ALL. DO you mind me asking how old he is? My youngest(adopted) son is on treatment now. He was dx just after his 4th birthday and just turned 6. We are also in Canada and I was wondering what hospital he goes to. If you prefer I can email you.
It is unfortunate that his father is finding it difficult to participate. I hope he is able to find comfort in the positives. We had a very traumatic 5 months, when he was dx. Our oldest son was in a terrible accident killing his fiance and a friend. My younger brother was dying of lung cancer and then came J.'s dx of ALL. We were reeling. He became sick weeks after his adoption became final.
We were foster parents prior to his and his brothers adoption (about 5 yrs.) We since have tried to stablize their lives and about two weeks before his dx, advised the agency that we were closing our foster home.

[NanaMarie]

Mom to 3 ..
I am sorry to hear about your little one and I will add him and your family to our prayer list. Sounds like your year was even worse than ours with all that was going on. Please feel free to e-mail me anytime. I totally understand why you decided not to foster any more at the present time.

my grandson just turned 10 in August .. we are hoping that his immune system will improve soon so he can actually have his friends over for a party. Justin goes to Children's Hospital here and has regular checks at the cancer clinic .. usually on Fridays but has had to go on several occassions during the week so they could monitor his counts without admitting him. I am told the roller coaster ride does get better and we are holding on to the verse in the bible that says the Lord does not give us more than we can handle.

Hugs
Marie