[Robinyyes]

Thanks for the emotional support and suggestions everyone.

Leahcar, I can't believe my situation is indictitive of all out of state adoptions- don't lose focus or hope.

Chloroxsis- Thank you so very much for the suggestions. I will try again to reach sw #2 this morning (but she is usally a family matching worker) so I'm not exactly hopeful. That is why your suggestion of contacting his casa or gal is a great one. I'll definately make that my goal this morning....to find and contact them both.

I just can't believe how they are handling this whole thing. I was actually told that because he doesn't act out or cause problems that it is easy for him to slip through the cracks. And I have been on my own just politely contacting the agency once a week. (I'm licensed in CA through the county who has put my application on hold with them because I did not want to just walk away from the possible match with 'J') That is why I'm in reality flying without a net on this. I don't want to piss anyone off, and I don't want to be anything less then proactive and persistant. Its a very narrow ledge that I'm inching along on; but giving me the idea to find out about a casa and gal is a great one. I may even contact the county that he is in if the private agency he is contracted though can't provide me with contact information for the casa and/or gal.

I'll no doubt have another update later this morning.

Thanks again for help!

Robin

[leahcar]

We were not chosen.

We are being considered for another child in December. Hopefully she is the one one meant to be with us.

[Robinyyes]

leahcar,

I'm sorry hon. I know how frustrating and emotionally draining this all is, and I'm hopeful as well that your little girl will be with you soon!

Robin

[chloroxsis]

I'm so sorry Leahcar. I hope your other match is "the one." It seems you are more geared up for that child. But I know it had to be disappointing.

[leahcar]

Not so much "geared up" for the other child. Just we knew about her first and have met her. The one we were not chosen for came up all of a sudden. We will be happy with whatever child we're matched for, just hoping it happens soon, soon, soon. The waiting and not knowing is so emotionally exhausting.

How long have you ladies been in the this process?

[Robinyyes]

Took your advice. I made lots of calls to track down the right person, and as a result am now awaiting an important phone call that is supposed to happen today! Keeping my fingers crossed for good news!

[leahcar]

Originally Posted by Robinyyes

Took your advice. I made lots of calls to track down the right person, and as a result am now awaiting an important phone call that is supposed to happen today! Keeping my fingers crossed for good news!

FINGERS CROSSED!!!!

[Robinyyes]

Originally Posted by leahcar

FINGERS CROSSED!!!!

Well still no call.

[LadyBugz]

How infuriating! I'm really sorry!

[Shelly77]

leahcar -

Sorry you weren't chosen.

I hope it works out for you!

[ncblueeyes]

Ladies -

I hope you dont mind if i come in...i was reading your posts and it sounds soooo similar to mine. I had a GAL and FM meeting on a child a month after getting our foster license. we are truely adopting but will consider fostering while we wait. Anyway, we were not chosen due to lack of experience they said.... which infuriates me because if you have no children and are trying to adopt, what do you do? Anyway, we were of 5 families in that instance and have inquired on several since then. I guess what i thought was probably right, they wont place before the holidays. What is the deal with all the case workers and social workers schedules? It seems like we wait for them to get enough HS to review and then finally after 2 months they tell you you were not chosen. (and that is for those that actually tell you that). So im frustrated lately because the wait seems so long even though i know we havent been waiting as long as some. We were approved in May and got our foster license in Aug. So i am making myself my own advocate lately and i email the worker of the children we submitted and unless i need to get the agency involved i seem to be doing most of the work. It seems to get me moving closer to the goal instead of waiting on my adoption worker.... thanks for letting me voice here.... good luck to everyone and hope that match comes soon for all of you!

[Robinyyes]

UPDATE:

I got the call. Head Honcho is setting up the match meeting for within two weeks. She is calling me back tomorrow to verify which day and time the meeting will be so that I am kept in the loop. They also expressed apoligies and how patient I've been etc. She did tell me that I am the only family being considered So I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they'll be able to get this done prior to Thanksgiving. Again thank you guys for helping me with great advice and letting me vent over and over.

[Robinyyes]

Well I got a call this morning on my way in to the office. They are trying to set the matching meeting up for next week, and are sending out email invites to all involved, and will inform my worker when they have the date and time set. With that news comes this: they've added two more families to be considered. I'm disappointed as I feel that in the four months that I've been waiting when there have been no others involved and now suddenly two more sprout up....I'm just feeling pretty taken for granted. But no matter how much thinking I do about this - it will not change the outcome. He'll either be placed with me, or he won't. So I'm trying to focus on the fact that at least he'll be matched (hopefully) by the end of next week, and I'm trying not to think about all the runaround I've been getting for four months. Sigh. So I guess I'm back to waiting once again.

[ncblueeyes]

Robin- fx for you and hope that this is the match that is intended for you!

[leahcar]

Oh, good luck next week! So glad things are finally moving for you. Try to focus on the fact that if if it's not with you, he'll be matched soon. He'd most likely be waiting a lot longer if it wasn't for you, so even if he never knows it you've made a huge difference in his life already.

We are being considered for another little girl (in another state - Texas) on the 24th of this month.

Then the meeting for the first girl we were considered for is Dec. 2. It feels weird being up for other children before her, but there is a huge chance we won't be chosen for her, so I don't feel good about just waiting either.

I really think that we're going to be matched with whatever child is supposed to be with us. We'll see!