[jennyfreddie]

From my perspective, it's less about honoring the birth mother than about honoring your son's history. His birth family is a part of his identity, and affirming that can help him to come to peace with his story. Even though you naturally have conflicted feelings towards the birth mother, it will help your son very much to see that you respect and honor his heritage while also welcoming him into your family. I'd encourage you to go ahead with it.

[ookpix]

Originally Posted by catsndogs

Can you share with me how you adjusted her from her previous first name to her new name? I am interested in doing this and my foster daughter is almost 2 and they are in the process of termination of parental rights. I just don't know if she is too old plus I am receiving some reluctance/resistance from friends. Thanks for any advice/help!

I have seen it done very successfully. My FK's case just went to adopt, and their adoptive parents are going to change their names (their given names are along the lines of Star and Blessing). The kids are 2.5, 1.5, and 8m. I started by calling them by their given names and new names together (as if new name was a middle name). Within a week, all 3 responded to the new names. Within 2 weeks, they recognized each other by their new names ("where is *joe*" and they would point to right kid), and now 3 weeks later, the oldest is identifying himself and his sibs by their new names. I still use both interchangeably, as do the ap, tho they tend to use new names more than given names. My 3yo and 2yo nephews were adopted last year and transitioned just as quickly to their new names. Think of it as a nick name at first and how quick kids catch on to those!

[ookpix]

Originally Posted by catsndogs

Can you share with me how you adjusted her from her previous first name to her new name? I am interested in doing this and my foster daughter is almost 2 and they are in the process of termination of parental rights. I just don't know if she is too old plus I am receiving some reluctance/resistance from friends. Thanks for any advice/help!

I have seen it done very successfully. My FK's case just went to adopt, and their adoptive parents are going to change their names (their given names are along the lines of Star and Blessing). The kids are 2.5, 1.5, and 8m. I started by calling them by their given names and new names together (as if new name was a middle name). Within a week, all 3 responded to the new names. Within 2 weeks, they recognized each other by their new names ("where is *joe*" and they would point to right kid), and now 3 weeks later, the oldest is identifying himself and his sibs by their new names. I still use both interchangeably, as do the ap, tho they tend to use new names more than given names. My 3yo and 2yo nephews were adopted last year and transitioned just as quickly to their new names. Think of it as a nick name at first and how quick kids catch on to those!