[Archive]

Originally Posted By Lilia

My husband and I chose to adopt from the State, after intensive research on how we wanted to Adopt.

After a year the perfect little boy has join our family. We got him at age 2.4 years. The first month everything went smooth, and perfect. After the honeymoon was over what we believe Toddler behavior issues arose. From pitching a fit and throwing temper tantrums. Our little boy has been with us for five months, and when his having his moments of pitching fits or having a tatrum, my nerves explode I find it hard to know how to discipline him w/out yelling at him or giving him timeouts. I find myself creating a yelling pattern for any little thing he does wrong, and it frightens me, because that is not how I invision myself as a Mom.
I am an intellegent educated individual who knows when to get help and where. But sometimes when I'm in the moment of trying to discipline my little boy's behaviors I forget everything I've read on how to do it or how to deal with the issue.

I am basically posting this message for consolment than anything else, and what ever else comes out of it.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By PeaceinHim

There is a really good book called "The Complete Parent" by Nancy L. Van Pelt I wish I'd had it to read when I became a parent 22yrs ago. I bought it for my dauther and read it myself, it helps us have a better understanding and gives ideas for better coping skills. I understand where you are coming from at the moment when your nerves are raw it's hard to remain calm and think but that is exactly what's best. Look for the cause of the tantrums, explore ways to prevent them as far as possible and ways to deal with the child in a positive manner. If a child is out of control child and the parent loses their self-control how can the child learn self-control? It usually feels like the child is directing their outbursts at you but in fact they are just acting out. Do you have support from other parents and friends where you can discuss ideas on the situation as it's most helpful just to be able to talk things out. What do the tantrums entail? Throwing themself on the floor screaming and crying, becoming destructive or physically aggressive as in hitting others or damaging property, harm to themselves? For the crying , foot stomping, whinning, it's usually best to ignore them and not give them any reaction, in the other cases carefully restrain the child for their own safety and that of others until they calm down. If they are violent seek professional help.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Lisa

My husband and I are considering adoption. How much does it cost to adopt a toddler from the state? How long was your wait? Is your toddler healthy and developmentally on target? Is it possible to adopt a healthy infant through the state? Please chat with me or email me at lsloan@rtcol.com Thanks

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Originally Posted By pats

Hi,
My husband and I adopted an infant from the state and it was wonderful!! No some children are not health. They are either possitive for drugs, or malnurished, but these children need all the love and nurishment a
loving home like yours can give them. You always have to remember that biological babies may have problems in the future.
It is very inexpensive to adopt a child of the state. You can also get subsidies for a noncaucation baby. We adopted a herion/coccaine baby at the age of 4days, and she doing great so far. She is developmentally on target if not advanced.

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Liz

My husband and I are also thinking about adopting, possibly from the state and my questions are very similar to Lisa's questions: The cost? The length of time it took? Can one adopt an infant or toddler with out handicaps or special needs? Does the State subsides (and to what extent) a special needs child? My email is erothenbusch@core.com Thank you!

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Ernest&Tammy White

We adopted through the state, We have had Our baby boy since birth. We have 3 birth children and love them very much, We have never had a son. Our children are pretty much so raised I always wonder what it would be like to start all over or even what it would be like to have a son. Oh what a joy this baby has brought to our lifes. Our birth children just adore him as we do.There is alot of beauty in adopting, We feel that we have been blessed. our new baby is medically fragile but somehow that has made no difference to us we love him just the same. I guess what my piont is if you thought you could never love someone elses child the way you love your own I think you are wrong. It will take alot of love on your part but all the love you get back is well worth it. When I see that baby smile at me that is all the love I need.So if you have room in your home and lots of love in your heart please consider adoption.

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Originally Posted By Karen

That was beautiful

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Originally Posted By Cheryl

After 19 childless years my husband and I became foster parents and adopted the most beautiful 3 year old girl in the world. We continued to do foster care and got a 3 week old baby who is now 2 years old. His adoption will be final nest month. It is wondeful! Please do it. We now have a 4 month old we got from hospital as newborn and a 1 month old baby girl (biracial). Our son is biracial too. I wish I had done this much sooner!!

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Originally Posted By Kate

I am just curious, how long did it take you to get placed with a foster child? Did you go through the county? My husband and I have been licensed for almost a year, and feel nothing will ever happen? I am very anxious!! Anyone care to shed some light? Thanks! Kate katelovesmail@yahoo.com

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Another Mom

A really great Mom once told me that a good Mom thinks it and a bad Mom does it. With that in mind..know that you are normal and learn to laugh at the frustrating moments. Life is so short and babies are babies..not little adults. Set the example and walk away during the worst of it. They will be fine and you won't do anything childish that you will regret.

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Originally Posted By Judy

I am the grandmother of 2 kids the state has taken custody of, it is hard, but try to remember. They have left the only home and parents they know. They thought their home was "Normal". Seek professional help. With a lot of love and patience, your child will forget his past and learn to love you without fear of desertion, or may not have bonded well with the natrual mother. Pray.

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Originally Posted By Shannon smith

i think that everyone has a right to adopt a speacial
child from a state or country!

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Originally Posted By Tracey Berni

It seems as though you have several children. That's great! Did it take a long time. Every day that passes while I wait for my home study to be done, feels like centuries. I have taken the classes, just waiting now.

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Originally Posted By Jean

Don't kick yourself. You're only human. At times, I find myself feeling the same way. I've learned to try to distract the child with humor. If she's touching something she shouldn't (for the 2000th time), I'll remind her that mommy said not to touch that and pick her up and give her a kiss. She learns with gentle reminders and positive reinforcement. When she's having a screaming fit because she can't have ice cream for breakfast, I'll try to console her. If that doesn't work, I'll make sure she's in a safe place and let her let it out.

It's a tough job. I've had some very stressful jobs but, i find parenting to be the most difficult--by far!!!

good luck and god bless

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Originally Posted By TRACEY BERNI

I am going to orientation this wednesday. Can you tell me how long it took you to go through the process? I already have a little girl on the line and want to know how long it takes. Please tell me everything you had to go through.