[tata]

This is the first time I have posted on here. When I joined a bit back I did it to gain information. I read stories and gathered information. Today I write as we are scheduling the day to sign the papers for my children's adoption. S is a 2 year old girl and J is a 7 year old boy. They have been with us since Feb 2005. After much They are going to be ours. S is too young and as far as she is concerned we are mom and dad. J is older and knows more. It was looking to be a TPR but ended up as the bparents surrendering. I do not know if this is a blessing or a curse. I don't know much to be honest. I don't know what to feel or what to say. I myself was a foster/adopt child. I talk to both moms. Not close relationships but present. I am excited to have a family. Then you think what defines a family....My husband and I cannot have children. I got my family because two grown adults chose a drug /crime lifestyle over their children.

It is by the grace of god that these children have survived and I know I am blessed.

When is it okay to let go and love them without fear they will be taken away (we had one foster adopt fall through and well still not over it)


I know this is all over the place I am soo sorry. The emotions I am feeling are scattered as are my thoughts.


Does anybody have a good lifebook resource?


Thanks

Tata

Soon to be a mom of 2 (without physical labor pains but horrible emotional pains)

[jackiesbooks]

Soon to be a mom of 2 (without physical labor pains but horrible emotional pains) ---

One of the best quotes I have seen on this board.

WELCOME

[mcnh63]

I love the quote also!!!!!!
Good luck and I hope all goes well!!!!

[pugmamma]

Tata, You know first hand, we have all learned a lot form this post. Thanks for sharing. Deb

[hotspice58]

Not a book, but something to tell your older child is that mom/dad is/are sick. That's why he and sibling are in foster care. It should make it a little easier. (If *** does drugs and can't stop, it's probably to cover a mental illness). As for bparents surrendering, that means they can have contact. You will have to monitor that; my 2 boys have contact but my 11 yo is still dealing with loss.

[lovemy6]

Originally Posted by hotspice58

Not a book, but something to tell your older child is that mom/dad is/are sick. That's why he and sibling are in foster care. It should make it a little easier. (If *** does drugs and can't stop, it's probably to cover a mental illness). As for bparents surrendering, that means they can have contact. You will have to monitor that; my 2 boys have contact but my 11 yo is still dealing with loss.

I would be careful about saying that the parents are sick. It might cause them fear that you might get sick someday and they'll be moved from your home. We tell our kids that their parents made some bad choices, so the judge made the decision to place them with us until the parents learned to make better choices. When they didn't, and it looked like tpr was going to happen, we told the children that the judge would decide if it was safe for them to go back to bp's or if they should grow up with our family. After tpr, we told the children that their bp's love them, but just aren't able to keep them safe.

[faithmylord]

Tata,

As you stated from the Grace of God. Let Him be your strength in this time and if it is His will for these children to be yours, then it will be.

Proverbs 3: 5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.

I am in the process of adopting a child from foster care also. I feel your pain and concerns on a daily basis, but I know this is God mission for my life... keep the faith...
Peace and Joy... C

[loomistunes]

Hello! I question without trying to offend the one that wrote that with a surrender the birthparents can see the child.. I have 2 birthparents who have surrendered and they are not allowed to see the children unless We ok it....They can however register on the adoption websight so when the children are 18 they can also register and find one another..My children know they are adopted, but we want them to have a normal childhood and when they are old enough..18 to make the decision to make contact they can at that time.. The difference in our situations is that my children were babies when they were adopted.. so they are not as curious and have had an easier time with moving on...With your son he is old enough and still remembers his b parents so you will have to make the best decision for hm. I wish you the best of luck, and I will pray for you... Jen

[joy42]

I too am in the adoption process and waiting to be matched it has been such a long process and often I become weary but then I know God is the one that moved into our hearts to begin this journey and we must endure with long suffering before we reap our reward

[rsbg]

Well put Joy42!!!!