[Tkme2disneyswld]

We are in the fianl stretch of our adoption for our kids M & K; they have been with thier Foster Mom for 1 year. We get the kids every weekend until we can petition for adoption (could be 1-2 months) the weekends are going well with the kids. However we seem to be butting heads with the Foster Mom, she says she is ready to let them go; but she seems like she isn't. Anyone had to deal with this?

[leenab]

I haven't had to deal with that. But can you get the children placed sooner? Maybe have them placed as pre-adoptive or even fost/adopt. There may be a way around these uncomfortable issues with the fostermother. Have you talked to the caseworker about how you feel? This is usually a good place to start and get their take on the situation.

As a fosterparent I know how difficult it is to say goodbye to children when they leave. It's very emotional, happy and sad at the same time. And I always tend to worry about the children, and how'll they'll do in their new surroundings.

What issues are you having with the fostermother? She may be out of line or they may just be common things people have to deal with when it comes to fostering.

-LeenaB

[mom2GRLC]

It is extremely hard to say goodbye to a child you've had that long. You are torn in so many directions with many conflicting emotions.

When you find out a child is leaving..part of you want them to go ASAP, the longer you have them...knowing they are leaving the more mourning you go through. You know it will be easier when they leave and you can pick up the pieces and move on. On the other hand you are so emotionally attatched to the kids that it's hard to let them go...you worry about them...you worry how they will deal with leaving you and entering the new family...you worry if they will like it there and feel at home...you worry how they will be treated.

It's also hard to be an adoptive parent...I've been on both sides. You are also going through emotional turmoil. All you can think about is getting the kids in your home. You worry if you are doing the right thing...if these are really supposed to be your kids.Then all you will think about is for the finalization date when they will be yours forever. Once the kids are in your home permantently (depending on their age) you will have so many wonderful times...and also times that aregoing to be difficult...you will have to work on bonding...on listening to your kids and understanding where they have come from and all the loss and devistation they have been through.

It's hard on both sides....I guess my advice is to....try and have compassion on the foster family...understand their point of view...and the fact that although you are gaining a wonderful family they are on the other end...trying to deal with loss and grief...and also excitment for you and your new family.

[Tkme2disneyswld]

Thanks for the advice; we have adopted before through a private agency so this is a new expierince for us. We hope that we can make the transition for the kids smooth and lessen the heartache for the Foster Family as well.