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Old 02-19-2012, 09:35 PM
Erynmp Erynmp is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Fostering to adopt, 2 young bio children

Hi, my husband and I have been wanting to adopt and had begun the process when we discovered I was pregnant with my daughter, now 9 months. I also have a 2 and a half year old. We have decided that we would definitely like more children and are opting to adopt rare than conceive. I am wondering if anyone has had experience fostering to adopt with young bio kids? We're there any special challenges. We are asking for a child/children younger than our own. Very nervous and excited to start the process again. Also, have people had the experience of waiting a very long time for a foster to adopt placement?
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Old 02-19-2012, 10:06 PM
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Pepperminty Pepperminty is offline
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I think you are wise to request foster placements younger than your bio kids. Your county/agency worker may try to push you to take on older children, so you might want to be prepared for that and gear yourself up to resist the pressure.

That said, with your baby being only 9 months old, you'll be waiting for a call from a pretty small pool. Lots of babies go into foster care, but it usually takes longer than 9 months for workers to have any idea whether that child will be a foster/adopt candidate. Even if bio parents are an automatic termination, there are bio relatives out the wazoo who can step forward any time.

We signed up to foster adopt and our worker was pretty good about only talking to us about kids who were "slam dunks" with regard to TPR. It took four months after our homestudy was complete to get the call about our son--he wasn't the first call we got, but the county decided to place the the other options with other families.

Also, it took my DH and I about six months to complete the foster/adopt trainings and home study process. If it takes you that long, your potential age range will open up a bit more
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Old 02-20-2012, 11:22 AM
Erynmp Erynmp is offline
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The laws in Alberta require us to wait until our daughter is one year before we are eligible to apply. We have already done the training, so we will only have to wait until we can get a home study, which I understand can take some time. Thank you for your insights!
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Old 02-20-2012, 12:06 PM
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connie_anne connie_anne is offline
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We were in a very similar position and our agency had as wait till our bio son was 1 and then restarted the home study. We ended up being placed with our daughter when our son was 20 months, the girls were 14 months and 26 months!! It was pretty crazy, but of course I wouldn't change it for anything! Now our three "little ones" are 7, 71/2 and 8. They are the best of friends!
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Old 02-20-2012, 01:30 PM
BAC4343 BAC4343 is offline
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My current foster kids are older than my bio kids and it hasn't been a problem. I think it can actually be good because my bio kids are too young to understand a lot of the drama that goes on. My foster kids have health issues and delays, but not behavior problems.

I would caution you as a previous response also said to be careful if you accept children a lot older than your babies. We have had several in our local support group that have had major issues when getting a foster child that hurt their bio children or had behavior issues such as acting out sexually and exposing their children to things that they shouldn't have. Once you accept a child it is often hard to send them back and you can get blacklisted for doing so. I guess what I am trying to say is just be careful to know exactly what type of child you are getting and be prepared for the issues that may arise.
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Old 03-02-2012, 06:59 AM
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StephanieMB StephanieMB is offline
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We prefer taking just the younger age groups. We stepped out of our comfort zone one time and accepted a 12yo girl. We kept her 11 1/2 months and had to disrupt.

Older kids have a way of hiding their true selves a lot longer than little kids do. You may think you've landed a real gem, only to discover BIG trouble a few months down the road.

If you have to disrupt, don't let the threat of being blacklisted hold you back. Your family and your sanity are far more important. If a cw gets a burr up their hiney and doesn't call you for awhile--- remind yourself that there could be worse ramifications if you continue to keep the child.
Stephanie (wife to my soul-mate for 19 yrs)
Mom to

B(19) M(17) E(14)
A(10) B(2)

Current Placements:


Loved and cared for 30+ foster children since 2006.

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