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  #1  
Old 04-04-2011, 09:00 PM
Jamerd82 Jamerd82 is offline
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Foster to Adopt in Washington State

Hi all! I am brand new to this site, but have already found it very helpful! I am a single 28 year old female looking to adopt. I have done some research and feel like foster to adopt would be a great fit for me. I have my first orientation meeting tomorrow and can't wait for more information! I have to sell my 1 bedroom condo and get a 2 bedroom apartment for my potential budding little family, but I want to get the ball rolling, and I know it can take a long time for this entire process to unravel, so why not get started?

I am a little worried about the fact that I am a single and not a couple looking to adopt, but I do not have my sights set on an infant, I would be okay with 0-3 yrs, I just want a family, and don't want to wait for the "perfect man" to enter my life. I have always been a very independent woman, so for me to choose this route, just feels right. Everything happens for a reason! Does anyone have any insights on single foster to adopt in Washington State?

I would love any info from you guys out there who have already been through this!

Thanks!
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  #2  
Old 04-05-2011, 05:25 PM
alys1 alys1 is offline
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I'm in W WA, and they're very open to single fos-adopt. With 50% of couples divorcing these days, they're pretty conscious that at least half of children will spend some time in a single-parent household. At any rate, it seems to be a non-issue.

Are you in W WA? If so there are a bunch of fos-adopt support groups set up. At first I didn't want to bother to attend them, but they are a great way to build a group of friends or acquaintances who're understanding, and find support. You don't have to be licensed to attend, you could just be "thinking" of it.

Are you going with an agency or licensing just with the State? PM me if you have other questions or want a link re support groups.
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  #3  
Old 04-06-2011, 01:56 PM
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Sher973 Sher973 is offline
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We are working on adopting from the foster care system in Washington State also. I am married, but I have learned that there is no problem with single people adopting.

We are finishing up our home study this week. It is actually an update, because we previously had been working on a foreign adoption (started 2 years ago).

Alys - I would be interested in learning about support groups. I haven't had any luck finding any in my area.
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  #4  
Old 04-07-2011, 02:46 PM
JayWa JayWa is offline
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We are trying foster-to-adopt in western WA as well, and I would caution that placements are not as easy to come by as agencies and the state represent.

My advice would be to ask carefully about placement and success rates.

We're with a private agency (PM me for the name). We've found out that we had to accept more legal risk than we wanted, as there were so many families looking. Other friends at the same agency were recently told that they were one of 60 families from just our agency who submitted a home study for a low-risk toddler.

We wanted two or three siblings up to age 12 with some moderate other restrictions on health needs. We waited more than six months for a placement and ended up going outside our initial range on both kid characteristics and risk. [And now, 9 months later the "almost free" kids are heading for reunification.]
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Old 04-07-2011, 08:46 PM
alys1 alys1 is offline
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Do you think the cws were honest with you when they said the children were "almost free"? Or were they just looking to lead people to house the children?

Separately, does the ru look certain?
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  #6  
Old 04-08-2011, 10:39 AM
JayWa JayWa is offline
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We don't quite know what to believe about who knew what. I truly think the cw-er thought their dad would never follow through with his plan.

We now think he's determined to take them (and doing a really good and sincere job of it), even though the cw-er still says "we'll see." We actually like their dad a lot, but the cwer and gal warn that we have not yet seen the full range of his personality.
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  #7  
Old 04-08-2011, 12:04 PM
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Calalily Calalily is offline
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Going through the same process....I am just in FL!
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  #8  
Old 05-25-2011, 11:04 AM
coco-ono coco-ono is offline
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Also in WA state

My husband and I are trying to decide between international and foster adoption. We are willing to take any sex, or race, and to work with kids with RAD, ADD, sexual abuse history ect. I am also a stay at home mom, which I know helps.

BUT we have 2 children already (3 and 4) and in order not to disrupt birth order tooo much only want to go to age 5. No older.

We've heard horror stories about how there are NO children that age available unless you are willing to take in an extremely medically fragile or disabled child and it could take YEARS to find a match.

International often takes 2 years and its soo much more expensive. We'd much rather foster adopt.

I'd love to hear any of your experience with WA state and what children are available.
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  #9  
Old 05-25-2011, 01:14 PM
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Larue Larue is offline
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We're in W WA, and were licenced through a private agency. When we went through our PRIDE training, there were several single women in our class. I don't think you should have a problem getting licenced. As for placements, a lot will depend on what you're open to, in addition to your age range.

The one word of caution I would give is that there really is no such thing as low legal risk. Birth parents can work their treatment plan, relatives can come forward, a lot can happen.

Best wishes!

Alys1, I would be really interested in information on those support groups.
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  #10  
Old 09-11-2011, 09:10 AM
JAGUAR15 JAGUAR15 is offline
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Hi all! I am also new to this. My husband and I are still researching different adoption options but I am leaning towards foster-adopt. I live in Seattle, was wondering if anyone had any feedback on any of the agencies before we move forward. If so, could you PM me?? Thanks!
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  #11  
Old 09-16-2011, 07:47 PM
Toni253 Toni253 is offline
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Heart New Here ~ Foster-Adoption in WA State

I am new here but am glad I found this site! I live in Tacoma but we (my husband & I) are using a private agency in Seattle to license and through the adoption process.

I am African-American and my husband is Irish-American, works from home and would be a stay-at-home father. I am 48 and my DH is 45. We are interested in child(dren) age 6-12 either gender, African-American or biracial. We were told we would not be waiting long for a placement after our orientation. We are days away from our license. I wonder if this is true?

I have wanted to adopt for years but now that we are so close ... I am feeling anxiety and fear. I am channeling all the energy into decorating the two bedrooms for our future children. I submitted my FMLA at work just in case we do receive a placement right away.

Thanks for reading my ramblings. I am too exicted I guess.
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  #12  
Old 10-01-2011, 12:09 PM
alys1 alys1 is offline
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Tony253, after 6 years as FP, going to many foster/ foster-adopt support groups, I'd say absolutely, you will get a child right away. As a bi-racial couple, you'll be seen as culturally congruent for AA or bi-racial children. Also being willing to take older children, less people are competing for those children.

Fear and anxiety? Very reasonable. My friends just didn't understand, I finally said, "OK, I'm pregnant with twins, but I don't know what ages they'll be, or when they'll arrive." Then they would say, OMG. ...Exactly.

I'd be concerned about someone who wasn't worried about making it all work!

Have you read up on "attachment parenting", parenting children who've been in care and have problems trusting (who wouldn't?) I highly recommend Daniel Hughes' "PLACE" model, and his books. PLACE
Attachment Disorder Site - providing hope and support.
Even if your children have just a bit of this, it's great to have some idea of the playing field in advance.

Separately, someone asked about foster/ fos-adopt support groups in the area. Here's a link:
Support Groups | Fostering Together
Via "Olive Crest" and "Fostering Together". There are many more than there were years ago, and they are *great*. Great places to meet people who do respite only, people who've adopted, perhaps multiple times, people just starting, etc. Some of the trainings are good also, and help keep your license current as you get credit for attending.

Finally, here's a list of questions to ask about the children. Do insist on meeting them first, if it's an adoptive placement. There's no fire big enough to transfer children to your home without you meeting them and getting a feel for them. (I met 2 boys I didn't even want to babysit, said no, and still have had multiple adoptive/non-adoptive placements.) This thread, Carmen90's lists: We've Been Matched! Now What?!?

Hope this helps!
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  #13  
Old 10-13-2011, 03:06 PM
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Hopeful2BeA_Mom Hopeful2BeA_Mom is offline
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Support Groups

I noticed that Pierce County is lacking in the support groups department but there seems to be a lot of people in this county going through the foster to adopt process. Any thoughts on starting a support group down here in Pierce County? It seems like there are enough of us to make it work. I am located in Tacoma.
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  #14  
Old 10-18-2011, 05:46 PM
Toni253 Toni253 is offline
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I am a Seattle transplant to Tacoma and have noticed the differences, especially in terms of resources. I know I will be needing support through this process.

Years ago I was a foster home licensor, but it's totally different going through the process yourself. I've worked with children and teens in foster care and with other issues but this feels and is different. Even my sisters do not understand, they all have children, even grandchildren. So having a local group sounds perfect to me Hopeful!
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  #15  
Old 10-18-2011, 05:53 PM
Toni253 Toni253 is offline
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Alys~

Thanks for the info. Sorry for the delay in reply.

I have read everything I could get my hands-on concerning attachment and older child adoption. I even forced my husband to go through the Love & Logic CDs with me. You are right friends and family do not totally get it.

I was a licensor and several of FP went on to adopt but it's different being on the other side
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