[m_lawrence777]

My wife and I are looking for opinions on best interest with reasoning and people to share similar stories. In that vain I'm not going to tell you which party we are. I'll just lay out the case and you decide.

Foster baby came into placement at birth. She was moved two times and finally was placed with current foster parents on Dec. 1st, at age three months. Relatives in Iowa were contacted in February about possible placement. Bio parents were not offered services in March. Court date has been set for August 24th to determine best interest and child placement. Foster parents have had the child for nine months at the time of trial. Relatives have not been able to visit with the child due to the distance (foster child is in CA). So where should the child be placed. Foster parents or relatives? If you need more information let me know.

[Longing2bMom]

I think she should stay with the foster parents. They have had her amost her whole life, and after 2 moves already, I don't think it is in her best interest to be uprooted again.

[greenmama]

Foster parents. Multiple moves in a child's first couple of years is VERY damaging.

[MommyAlysia]

i agree, foster parents. BUT I will say, biological ties can be very important for children and I would hope the FP's would be willing to keep relatives in the childs life as much as possible, assuming they are safe for the child, of course.

[Jensboys]

Foster parents ... unless bio relatives are willing to be part of an extended transition and foster parents are fully supportive of the move and also willing to be part of the transition process, and part of child's life AFTER transition.

[Ashley-n-D]

FP's hope thats what you wanted to hear. I believe in continuity for kids above all else

[c.a]

First - has an ICPC been completed on the relatives? They cannot take placement until ICPC is done.

Plus - the state is unlikely to move the kids out of state until the court case is over.

The bigger question is - how long is the baby going to be with the foster parents and is it realistically in the child's best interest to be moved after 12-24 months of bonding with the foster parents to be placed with people she doesn't know? Are the foster parents are also interested in adoption?

[m_lawrence777]

Yes, the foster parents are interested in adoption. Both the foster parents and the relatives have a completed home study. There is a compelted ICPC, so it is assumed that after the August 24th hearing the decision will be made and the baby will be moved, or stay, depending on the decision. Parental rights will also be taken on the 24th.

[wcurry66]

honestly, if relatives expressed an interest early on, i think they will be given a chance. 9 months, though an eternity in a babys life, is a short period of time

[Jensboys]

Originally Posted by m_lawrence777

Yes, the foster parents are interested in adoption. Both the foster parents and the relatives have a completed home study. There is a compelted ICPC, so it is assumed that after the August 24th hearing the decision will be made and the baby will be moved, or stay, depending on the decision. Parental rights will also be taken on the 24th.

Given these facts, chances are the baby will move to relatives. My suggestions to the foster parents is to fully support the baby transferring her attachment to the new caregivers. This can be done by documenting all schedules, sending bedding as well as attachment items with the child, making a photoalbum and or video of the baby and then encouraging positive interactions with the new relative placement (having them come over to put baby to bed, feed baby, be handed back and forth between caregivers).

Honestly, if the baby is showing a strong attachment to foster parents, that bodes far better for the baby to TRANSFER that attachment to a new caregiver. If the baby was indifferent in a foster placement and not attaching, that would be scarier for the long term prognosis of the child to put another move onto the child. If both sets of parents work together, things should be ok - although, of course difficult. Relatives should ensure they arent using childcare for as long as possible.

My daughter came to me at 12 months. I was AT LEAST her 7th home. Attachment took time - but she has done amazing (now 27 months old) and I would now say she is fully attached.

[CaddoRose]

I have an 11 month old that has been here for 3 months.( he has been in care since birth) He has not had a problem attaching to us and I don't think he will have a problem attaching to another family. If he were older and had been in the same house for 9 months, I think it would be harder on him, but possible. In your case, it's likely the judge will decide to send the baby to relatives because that is the usual thought process. If the baby can't be returned to parents, then family is next in line especially when it looks like adoption is in the future. They will usually not place with family as a foster placement if the family is far away and that is why they don't consider the move until rights are terminated.

[JackieN]

How close are these relatives? Are they close relatives like grandparents or aunts/uncles who have a natural inborn love and feeling of responsibility for the child? Or are they distant relations who likely just see this as an easy opportunity to adopt a baby?

I feel the child should stay with the foster parents either way because of the attachments that have been created in 9 months. However, I could more understand a judge ruling for the relatives if they were close.

[BethanyB]

I think the child should be moved to be with the relatives. The child is young (nine months old) and has only been with the foster parents for six months. Most case plans take at least a year to work through in a normal case. It's not the families fault that they live so far away and must wait until the court date to take the child to another state.

[sadoyle1216]

We had a very similar situation. The baby was 8 months when she came to us and we were her 4th documented set of caregivers. (mom frequently left her with whomever for her first 2 months of life). She was with us for 8.5 months before going to her great-aunt, whom she had never met. She should be adopted by them in the very near future. Family, regardless of how far or how distant their relation is, will likely trump the foster parents. The challenge may be if the child has been with the foster parents for a year or more, but less than that and it's not as likely.

[Fosterauntmom]

People keep talking about the bond this child has to the foster family. First, if the relatives were contacted early on and they wanted the child and it has taken this long to get things to this point, and in the process the child has bonded with the foster family-why is that the relatives fault? Because the courts are slow, the relatives lose out on the ability to parent this child? I guess I do not understand.