[sunnyrobins]

Right now we are using rewards to encourage good behaviors for M who is 9. Each day if the kids do their chore, homework, outside activity for 30 min, and have a day without major behavior issues then they get video game time. This system is simple and has seems to work as both J & M love the hand held video games.

More times than not M sees other kids as advesaries and is confrontational and overly competative (in a very negative way) with other kids. If we were to do behavior charts for all 3 kids do you think it would help by giving a visual so M can see how the other 2 kids are doing and then can also see how he is doing. My thought is that if M has a day that ends without earning his reward of playing video games but J does he can then see on the chart that J earned his points for the day or do you think that the charts would encourage the competativneness in a negative way?

[CaddoRose]

One way to stop the competitive behavior is to engage M with a sibling in a chore or task. Even if you have to come up with something to do that would take two kids to do it. Some ideas are making two kids makeup a bed together, one on each side. Taking the garbage out by having one take the bag out of the can, another take it outside and then the other one opening the outside can. If you have a yard, outside work used with two or more kids working together. Setting the table is another good one that can use all the kids. It works best if you can assign each part of the task to each child and then when completed, they all get their stars on the chart.

[sunnyrobins]

So we had our family meeting last night and talked about behavior charts. DH and I explained that we would be using them and that all 3 kids would have the same basic items listed on their charts and then we would meet individually with each child this Sunday to discuss his or her individual goals and then each chart would have 2 individual goals. I was so proud of K and J for speaking up during the meeting and saying that they thought it was a great idea and they each gave examples of things they thought they could personally work on

[LadyBugz]

This isn't the kind of chart you discussed, but it does meet the same needs in what I think is an easier and more long term way. I thought you might like to see it.

It Feels Like Chaos: Works for me Wednesday: A Privilege Chart Updated