[waitngforastar]

I am getting fed up with this whole process. We have been licensed since April, hoping to adopt a child or sibling group younger than 9. Our caseworker said that we should be matched quickly, but so far nothing. We thought we would have a placement by now. I have been inquiring about children on photolistings since then to no avail. My caseworker has sent my homestudy in about 10 different times. The kicker today- at around 9:30 AM I called about a sibling group that was posted just today, and the caseworker told me she already had enough homestudies and couldn't accept any more! Is there an agency that helps advocate for potential parents? Any tips on navigating this system from someone who actually managed to adopt a waiting child from a photolisting? Thanks!

[txwannabemom]

Do you have an adoptive worker?

[DianeS]

I have one tip that might help.

Every time you send your homestudy, also send a cover letter. At the end of the cover letter, say that if you are not picked for this particular sibling group, you would like to be kept in mind for any other sibling group where all sibs are under the age of 9.

Include any other large reqirements you have, like gender or health requirements, but keep it to one or two sentences (remember you can always say "no" later, you don't have to give every detail here).

That way the caseworker, instead of throwing your homestudy in the trash can if you're not picked for that one sibling group, might keep it on file and match you with a sibling group you've never heard of. Sometimes the worker who has one group ready today, might know of more groups who will be ready in a week or two, and simply throw your homestudy in on them as well. I have heard of a couple people getting matches in this way.

Good luck to you!

[athikers]

We were really lucky... we submitted our homestudy on our son and we were matched with him the following week.

But, most people I know look for months or even a couple years before they are matched, so try not to get discouraged.

Also, the suggestion for workers to "keep you in mind" for similiar children is a good one.

[adoptmom2be]

Don't give up on the photolistings - that is how we got our 3 boys. But we turned in A LOT of requests - most we never heard back from.

Another tip, if you can get a copy of your homestudy from your worker, send it yourself with a few photos (scanned). If possible - one serious and one of you having fun. It worked for us with several workers. You want to try to stand out.

Don't give up - it is truly worth the hard work and frustration.

[DTmama1]

We submitted about 100 inquiries before we were matched. Just keep checking the sites reguarly, submitting your homestudy, and I usually followed up with a phone call to the caseworker after 2-4 weeks. I did what someone else recommended if the group was already matched or not a good fit for us and let the caseworker know we would like to be considered for other sibling groups. Here is a site with all the state's photolistings, as some kids aren't listed on adoption.com or adoptuskids. (my state has 3 kids listed nationally, but many more listed on the state's site for example. Adoption Waiting Children Photolisting Directory

[sunnyrobins]

We were matched with a great kiddo after some disappointments, Inquiring for 15+childeren through photolistings. My husband never seemed to lose hope but I was getting close to it. Our SW gave me an electronic copy of our homestudy I combined it with a letter of support from our pastor and a one page word doc that I had copied and pasted several pictures of us, our children, our pets, and our home. Then a one page narrative describing our family as a whole and each of us individually, etc. I don't know that it truly helped or not, the kiddo we were matched with we found through a photolisting but he is also in our own state too.

[Perfect7]

There is a website called Children Awaiting Parents that features children who are harder to place. It depends on what special needs you are open to. We called about our son and met him for the first time within a week. Within two months he lived here, and he waited a very long time for a family. He is a precious child and we love him so much.

[akcskye]

We had decided if a year went by and we were not matched, then we would take that as a sign we were not meant to be parents, and not redo our homestudy and stop the process.

It took 8 months from application submission to matching, and those were the LONGEST 8 months I believe I've ever lived.

Now, the 3 years we've had them have been the fastest 3 years I've ever lived.

Go figure.

Don't lose hope though...some states aren't as accepting to out of state (an assumption on my part) photo listings applications as others.

In our state, they frown on that until you've been waiting at least a year because there are so many children waiting for homes, there's just not a way to list them all.

[timdebj]

After our home study was done it took us about two years to finally find a placement. We did the same thing by looking at the photo listings on a daily basis. Our agency told us that the children on the photo listings have typically been in care for a while and are harder to place. There are monthly/quarterly meetings that the case workers go to to review children in placement, make sure you know when these are. We also asked our agency to look at children that might be considered a legal risk, but the outlook was that TPR would get terminated. This is what worked for us. Keep the faith, it can be a very frustrating process.

[waitngforastar]

Thank you for the suggestions. I love the idea of attaching a photo and cover letter, but our homestudy is sent out by our adoption worker, and our adoption worker said "no" since it is coming out of their office they don't want anything that isn't from their office on there. I am trying not to loose faith that this will happen. Our county will not look at legal riskor foster to adopt etc. as there is no way to be certain who is going to TPR and who will be reunited with their bio family. We can be foster parents, and if the child goes to TPR we could be considered as adoptive parents, but we can not be foster parents who are hoping to adopt. So for now we are stuck with photolistings and/or waiting for a TPR case in our county.

[MilehighDad]

I'm sorry you have been waiting for so long. Such things are hardest when you are given one expectation and then it doesn't work out that way. If they had told you from the beginning that it would be a year, you could have waited patiently. Uncertainty is always the worst.

It does sound like you are doing everything right and with patience they will find a match for you. Some of the suggestions about making it more personal will probably help, too. Just don't lose heart and give up, because there are many kids out there. As time goes on, you may also want to expand the area you're looking in.

Good luck!

[soupnazi]

I inquired about a NC sib group & got a response within a hour...AND she called us. The sib group had already been placed but she wanted our homestudy & was sure she could place with us asap.

[GAMOM75]

For us it was just being persistant. I hate to say its a number's game, but it was for us. We sent our study to every sibling group and child that we felt would be a good match. Like you our homestudy came from our agency, but I did send an email to the caseworker myself with our photo and informational page letting them know that our homestudy was on it's way from the agency. I also included our agency info just in case they did not receive it. (That happend alot) This way the worker could call my agency directly to request the homestudy if they were really interested in us. That is the way our first two matches happend. We got called for several children that ended up not being good matches.

[Shelly77]

I know that the waiting is difficult. However, we waited for over 10 months and we are now doing visits with Princess to adopt her. She's 9 and in foster care so we don't know yet how long we'll have visits to make sure she's comfortable but it was a placement from the adoption listings online.

Best wishes to you waitingforastar!