[Happy_Cat]

We have TPR for my kiddos bio mom Monday and this week has been horrible! We haven't had much activity in the case for the last month and then suddenly this week it has been a roller coaster. Is this normal? I am anxious, the kids are starting to act out a little and the 7 yo is starting actually expressing some anxiety. She doesn't know that we are going to TPR, but knows that we are asking the judge if we can adopt her and that there are a lot of visits tot he judge before we can. I feel so protective of them. I want to shelter them from everything and when I see them both hurting it makes this whole process harder for me. How do you deal with the anxiety and uncertainty?

[In_limbo_for_now]

We have been on a rollercoaster for quite some time. The kiddos had been TPR'd before we were matched. They have monthly visits from CW and their lawyer as well as monthly reviews of the placement planning, even if things have not changed. They are 6 and 7 at the moment and I think we will be anxious until after they graduate from college. Or at least it feels that way now.
Do what you can and don't worry about what you can't fix. It is really horrible advice but sometimes it is all you can do. If it is something you would consider, try praying, giving it to God is the best I can do. You might also talk to their Cw and see if there is a therapist that can help with the transition.

[Happy_Cat]

Thanks for the reply! It changes from day to day and sometimes from hour to hour. Sadly this is one of those hour by hour days. I worry about the kids and worry about the trial. I have been reassured repeatedly that they have a solid case, but until it is said and done I'm going to feel the stress. Today I have had a hard time dealing with it, but I suppose tomorrow it will be better. Thank you again for the reply!

[greenrobin]

They feel your anxiety and act accordingly.

I think limbo's advice was right on--try to roll with it.

Our kids' mom was TPR'd in March. We'll be finalizing adoption (hopefully) before the end of August. Yes, it takes a long time, even when there are no appeals to deal with.

I can tell you that Bubba started acting like a ring-tailed tooter right around the time we changed over to pre-adoptive placement. He's 5. He KNEW something was different. We have talked about TPR, what it means, the real reason that it happened, what comes next. As much as a kid can, he understands and he wants this to be a permanent life, but.......he's testing his limits, checking to be sure we're sure. He has to protect himself.

Flower Girl, however, carries on in her usual, bubbly manner. Her biggest confusion is that she has begun to believe that she grew in my tummy. Not so--way too old! But, she also knows the truth about that--at least as much truth as a 3 yr old needs.

I'd suggest getting your cw or sw to help tell the kids after the TPR has been issued and the appeals period closes. Start talking about how things with you will be forever as soon as the cw tells you it's okay. Until then, try to let it go. Be honest in age appropriate fashion, but tell the truth. Believe it or not, it can really help. And when you can't yet say anything about TPR, you can reassure them that you will ALWAYS love them.

That works wonders.

[Happy_Cat]

Well we go this morning to court. I survived without snapping anyone's head off.

[Happy_Cat]

Just a quick update. We went to court yesterday and did not finish. We go back again on Friday.

[MilehighDad]

I'm sorry your suffering was extended another day! Hopefully it will all be moving forward today and you can get them finalized soon and just worry about raising them. Good luck!