[jaenelle]

Are we crazy to even consider this? We're planning on remodeling our house to pick up an extra bedroom and so would have room for 4 kids total. We've already got one daughter. Vince, especially, is not a fan of the adoption process and would rather not go through it anymore after this. So, in his mind, that means adopting a sibling group and then being done. Which is fine, but like a typical woman, I can't take anything at face value -- I have to analyze it to death. We would especially like AA kids as our daughter is AA, and we'd like them all to be pretty young (under 7 or so). I worry about the financial aspect of it -- we do okay but aren't wealthy by any means. There are quite a few more corners we could cut (and would gladly do so if need be) and it is my understanding (correct me if I'm wrong) that most sibling groups would come with a sizeable subsidy to help with raising them. If we adopted a group, we would likely mess up birth order and our daughter would go from only to middle or even youngest -- is this a big deal? ARE there ever any fairly young sibling groups without a lot of behavioral or emotional problems available? Has anyone adopted a sibling group -- would you mind telling me about your experiences?

[ranoutofnames]

Somewhere out there is a large sibling group praying someone like you and your husband exist. There are sibling groups just like you described here in Kansas, the trick is having a good worker actively seeking for you. Within the past year I was doing respite for 3 little AA girls (all under the age of 4) who had no identified adoptive resource. Their foster mom was older (around 50yrs) and felt it wasn't fair for the girls to be denied a younger parent(s) for the long haul that could keep up with them. They were adorable and had I not been pregnant and hoping to adopt one of my foster children (who did RU) I would have considered it because the girls just adored us and we really adored them.

Some states have a better subsidy package than others. If I remember correctly, you live in Kansas (same as myself). The current maximum amount of subsidy is $500/mo. A sibling set of 3 is automatically eligible for the financial and Medical. In addition, if you adopt a sibling set of 3 or more you may be eligible to receive up to $1000/child for a one-time sort of purchase, such as for beds, dressers, modifications to the home, etc.

There are instances where the subsidy could be approved over the $500/mo however it requires legislative approval and in these economic times it's unlikely to be approved. A1's bio-sister is SPMI (Severly and Persistently Mentally Ill) with a very low IQ. Her foster mom was going to adopt her but the higher amount was not approved by the legislature back when the economy was doing better.... her behaviors got too disruptive and without the additional funds and services (eventhough she was on the HCBS-SED waiver and receiving help through the CDDO) the foster mom couldn't keep her at home anymore. For the past 15 months she's been living in a state mental institution.

If you'd like to PM me you'd be welcome too. I haven't adopted a large sibling group however I've had several sibling groups in foster care... one set of 4 kids for almost 5yrs (and they are STILL a big part of my life, their mom is one of my best friends and comes watch my kids now and then so DH and I can go out on a date.)

[irelady10]

there is an adorable sibling group of 3 little girls on adoptuskids photolisting...i was wishing the other day that i had the space for them! check them out.

[Yash]

Originally Posted by jaenelle

Are we crazy to even consider this? We're planning on remodeling our house to pick up an extra bedroom and so would have room for 4 kids total. We've already got one daughter. Vince, especially, is not a fan of the adoption process and would rather not go through it anymore after this. So, in his mind, that means adopting a sibling group and then being done. Which is fine, but like a typical woman, I can't take anything at face value -- I have to analyze it to death. We would especially like AA kids as our daughter is AA, and we'd like them all to be pretty young (under
7 or so). I worry about the financial aspect of it -- we do okay but aren't wealthy by any means. There are quite a few more corners we could cut (and would gladly do so if need be) and it is my understanding (correct me if I'm wrong) that most sibling groups would come with a sizeable subsidy to help with raising them. If we adopted a group, we would likely mess up birth order and our daughter would go from only to middle or even youngest -- is this a big deal? ARE there ever any fairly young sibling groups without a lot of behavioral or emotional problems available? Has anyone adopted a sibling group -- would you mind telling me about your experiences?

You and your husband need to decide if it's a big deal to Yuna if she goes from being the only and oldest to being the middle child or the youngest. To me, it was very important to maintain birth order and so I moved accordingly.

My bff adopted three boys 3 1/2, 2 1/2, and 1 1/2. Their daughter and oldest son are 6 months apart. She said it was a difficult adjustment going from 1 to 4, but they just went with the flow and with time and patience it all worked out.

I have to say going from 2 to 3 was difficult until I had our new routine down and knew about how long it takes for everyone to be bathed and dressed in the mornings.

I think adopting a sibling group is a good idea since your husband doesn't want to go through this process again. There are sibling sets that need families and I'm sure you can find a young sibling set. My third fost/adopt placement was part of a sibling set, but the kids had to be split up because they couldn't find a family to take a 5 year old boy, 1 year old boy, a 3 month old gil.

My bff's sibling set had mild behavioral issues and I'm sure there are other sibling sets with issues that could be completely manageable for your growing family.

Congrats and good luck!

[GoddessDanu]

I haven't adopted yet but DH and I are seriously hoping to adopt a sibling group of four children, ages 4-8 years old. I just wanted to wish you luck!

[misuspotts]

We did just that and for about the same reason. We already had two bio children (teenagers), and wanted a large family, but weren't thrilled about going through the process several times. So when we moved to a larger house, we changed our search from a single boy to a sibling group. We ended up with three, ages 3, 4, and 6 at time of placement. The middle one has emotional/behavior delays that are certainly challenging, but he's coming along. Adding three children to the family at once is also very challenging, but it has worked for us. Because of their circumstances we continue to receive a nice subsidy even after finalization, or we would struggle to afford it.

[o2b30again]

We went into adoption knowing that we wanted sibs because we wanted to keep as much of their families intact as possible. They split siblings, especially large sets, so often just to get them placed. Our first set were 4,3 and 2 when they came home. Going from having tweens to toddlers was a big adjustment but we are surviving. Then 6 short months later we were asked to take the children's bio cousins adding another 7,3 and 11m old to the picture.

Yes adopting siblings is an adventure but well worth it and there are groups out there in the range you are looking for. Being that you are interested in AA children is a plus because there seem to be more sibling sets available. I come across them often on the adoptuskids site....yes I am crazy for still looking. What can I say. I am still smiling so parenting hasn't killed me yet