[mamachell]

Hello,

I'm wondering if anyone has ever gotten an attachment/bonding study done?

I'd be interested to know at what stage of the process were you? How long had you had your foster child?

Do you think it had any impact on your case?

I have had my foster daughter 9 months and now a family member may be interested and I'm not sure if this is something I should pursue.

Plus, I'm in the Los Angeles area if anyone can recommend a person who conducts these types of studies in this area?

Thanks for all the support on this site!
Mamachell

[hkolln]

Why would you want a bonding study done? Do you not want this relative to take the child? Has the SW mentioned anything about this relative? Maybe if you reach out to the family they may realize the child is in a loving stable home and not pursue placement? Personally I think you may wish to wait awhile to see what this relative wants and if they pass the home study. Maybe they only want a relationship?

To me a bonding assessment should be your last resort because the SW may not need one. Did the SW ask or request one? And it's up to the judge to determine in the end where the child goes. The bonding assessment may not matter in the end because normally (when qualifed relatives come forward and are cleared) the child goes with them.

Sorry I can't be of much help! I hope everything works out!

[Yash]

I'm with hkolin. See if you get the relative's email or phone number and contact him or her directly. You never know what the CW is telling them until you speak to them directly.

[MomwithFive]

<<may not matter in the end because normally (when qualifed relatives come forward and are cleared)>>

I think this is dependent on many other factors. I know, in our case, a biological family member came forward, had no relationship with our daughter and did pass a homestudy. However, judge wanted our daughter with us as she was very attached. I believe attachment and bonding is being taken much more seriously in the courts especially with the increased knowledge r/t attachment disorders, etc.

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by MomwithFive

I know, in our case, a biological family member came forward, had no relationship with our daughter and did pass a homestudy. However, judge wanted our daughter with us as she was very attached

And that is why it really is up to a Judge to decide. In the end the bonding assessment can either help or not. It depends. Some Judges will accept it and some it won't matter.

Best bet is to communicate with the SW to determine if one is warranted. Maybe these relatives are not feasible placements and a bonding assessment won't be needed?

[Happy_Cat]

We are going through something similar. Our precious little ones have been moved 9 times in the last two years! They have been with us for 13 of the past 24 months, but were reunited with a bio moved to family that placement was disrupted and returned to us. We desperately want them but another family member has come forward. I typically believe that being with family is best, but these people do not know the children and have not spoken to them since they came into custody. Well until a month ago.

Our county's policy is family first, period. They do not care about her motives or desires for permenancy only that they have an approved ICPC. We have hired a lawyer and one fo the things he is asking for is an attachment/bonding study. I have no idea about how it is done or what it will show, but he did think it was important.

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by Happy_Cat

Our county's policy is family first, period. They do not care about her motives or desires for permenancy only that they have an approved ICPC. We have hired a lawyer and one fo the things he is asking for is an attachment/bonding study. I have no idea about how it is done or what it will show, but he did think it was important.

We were in the same situation as you but we were the relative the FP's hired an attorney to fight. Our attorney also said we may need a bonding assessment done if we got to a point where he thought we'd lose to them. He did tell us that it could backfire on us or it could help us. It depends upon the attachment to us and to the FP's.

I'm sure if you do a search on bonding assessments in google you may find some info on one.

Please try and be civil in the entire process. Try and reach out to the family interested. You may never know where they are coming from. I wish the previous FP's of our daughter (bioniece) would have reached out to us instead of trying to fight us. I think it would have been a more positive experience for our niece. And I also would be more able to trust them to keep a positive relationship after she moved here. It is very hard on kids when it turns into something similar to a custody battle. In fact the Judge we went in front of even said he was not going to reside over a custody battle. It all depends upon the Judge in the end.

[Happy_Cat]

Originally Posted by hkolln

Please try and be civil in the entire process. Try and reach out to the family interested. You may never know where they are coming from. I wish the previous FP's of our daughter (bioniece) would have reached out to us instead of trying to fight us. I think it would have been a more positive experience for our niece. And I also would be more able to trust them to keep a positive relationship after she moved here. It is very hard on kids when it turns into something similar to a custody battle.

Thank you for the advice. I have tried very hard to be civil. I have no problem with any relatives being part of their lives as long as they are a positive influence on the children. However, this family seems to have a very difficult time understanding civil. I will continue to try to be above reproach, but I dare say it is a challenge. Like I said DFCS is of little help to us, but our lawyer knows our judge and thinks the study is valuable as in our case the children have been moved so frequently and are very attached to us.

I have actually thought for a while our littlest might have attachment issues. He asked me the other day if it was time to move again? We asked why and he said rather sadly, "because I have been here so long." It broke my heart! The kids deserve permenancy and in a family where they are wanted and loved. I sincerely believe that as a typical rule family should come first, but I think that it is family with at least a min level bond with the children and family who wants the kids for them and not as a family favor until they can pawn them off on someone else. I am glad you love your kids so much. They are lucky to have you! If I felt like the relative was going to truly love them I would not fight this as I did not fight the children going to their last relative placement that was disrupted.

[hkolln]

I'm sorry you have to deal with people like that. Let's hope whatever is best for the kids is what happens. I hate seeing kids hurting.

Keep us updated if you do the bonding study. I'm curious what it all entails and if it does help you out. Let's pray the Judge sees what is best in the end for the kids stability.

[mamachell]

hkolln,

Thanks for the good wishes. I know that you were able to adopt your relative and I do think that's wonderful. I don't have an issue with relatives adopting; in fact, I think it's natural. It's just that in this case the aunt hasn't done anything to move this along and she's known where she's been since the beginning. There are also some other factors that lead me to believe she may not be the best placement for an infant.

thanks