[greenmama]

In the case of an adoption match, how long did it take from first meeting to child moving in? Just curious what the typical events are. Thanks!

[Withay]

It depends alot on how close together the homes are. In my case the adoptive family lived in another state so the transition was fairly quick once the ICPC was completed.

Prior to the completion of ICPC I had the family send photos that I put in protective holders and taped around the house so the baby could see them. I also taped one to his crib so the last thing and night and first thing in the morning I could point to the picture and say 'mama' 'dada'. We did several phone calls over speakerphone so he could learn their voices. As they talked I would point to the pictures so he could associate them.

The actual transition to their home from the time they arrived at my home was 5 days.

I kept him up late the night they flew in so they could meet him. They were here for a couple hours with the cw and then went to the motel.

The next day they came over a couple times for 2 - 3 hours each time. He stayed the night inb my home that night.

Day 3 they came and picked him up for about 6 hours and then came back to my home for dinner. He spent the night at the motel with them from that point on.

Day 4 we all went to my parents for a get together.

Day 5 we went to the airport together and they left.

After that, for the first month there were phone calls 2 times a week. The second month was once a week. Then twice a month for a month. Then once a month for 2 months. Since that time contact has been more sporadic, but we still keep in touch.

ETA: To clarify, on Day 5 when 'they' left it was with their new son. The phone calls were between their family and myself letting me know how he was adjusting.

[greenmama]

Anyone else?

[hkolln]

Our transition was much shorter because we live in Fl and she was in ID.

We flew to Idaho and rented a townhouse for 2 weeks. The 1st week we visited her in the FP's home for a couple of days. Then the next couple of days we took her out to places for a couple hrs each time. Then the 2nd week she stayed with us overnight and was supposed to go back to the FP's home the 1st night but asked to stay another night and it ended up being the entire 2nd week she stayed with us. The 2nd week we were supposed to do the transition the 1st 4 nights as a switch (1night with us, 1night with FP's-then the next 3 days before us flying home we were supposed to have her 24/7) but since she felt so comfortable with us the SW decided she could stay with us every night and she never left

We received our paperwork to fly home and after that 2nd week and we all flew home. I think because she was 7 they kinda went by what she felt comfortable with and adjusted the transition to that.

[athikers]

We met our son in November, then when I went to pick him up in January I played with him one day and I picked him up the next. It was a very fast transition because the believe was that he wouldn't know any different. I think he did know he was being taken and I think the speed of the transition was a mistake. I would advise you to go as slowly as you are able.

[munketoes]

We met our son on the first of the month. He came to our house for the afternoon. He came back for another day visit, then a weekend visit. Then he moved in on the 17th. He was five. I think it should have taken longer though. It would have been better for him.

[greenmama]

wow those are quick transitions. we're looking at a few months (end of school year) at least!

[mom2fabtwins]

I have 2 FK who are moving to their forever family on Tuesday. It was 1 month from first visit to move in. Met on Feb 18, public visits for 3 hours on 21, 22 had first over night on 25, then 2 nights (28, 1), then 3 nights (6,7,8) then 4 nights (11-15) and they move in on St Patrick's day - Lucky 7 and 3 year old!!!!

The transition has gone VERY well. I would suggest this timeline to anyone with older kids .

[MilehighDad]

Ok, here is quick summary:

Placement number 1:
Age: 3 days
Transition time: 30 seconds

Placement number 2:
Age: 14 yrs
Transition:
Local placement. Saw her every day after school and for dinner for five days, then one night overnight over weekend, then saw her every day for two more days. Group home freaked out on us so we ended up moving her in with us the next day. We drove her to her school the rest of the semester so she didn't have to change schools.

Placement number 3:
Age 11 yrs
Transition:
Adopted from 800 miles and two states away. Met her after staffing meeting and took her to dinner for 2 hrs. Spent next morning with her and went to her school for 2 hours before flying home. 4 weeks later spent entire weekend with her, stayed in hotel. 2 weeks later spent entire weekend with her, stayed in hotel. 3 weeks later flew out and brought her back permanently. Total elapsed time: 2 months. Talked to her on the phone every day.

For adoptive transitions I think it is very important to claim the child early and very definitively so that they know you are going to be the parents from now on. I don't think long transitions are good unless the child really struggles to accept it or has a very limited ability to deal with changes. Almost all kids adopted out of foster care have been through abrupt changes in placement, so I think it is just inconsistent to stretch it out too much.

Good luck!!!!