[Kedu]

Hello to everyone here. I've posted once or twice before, but have mostly lurked. DH and I are very close to having our homestudy completed to adopt through the state. We had our final homestudy meeting with our social worker last week and he brought up something that surprised me.

DH is a police officer so it's no secret that we have a gun in our house as he wears his duty weapon home. He also does trap and skeet shooting as a hobby so we have a couple of shotguns as well. All the guns are locked up and exceed state requirements for storage around minor children. DH has shot trap since he was a child and it is an important part of his life. He feels like it helped him to learn focus and discipline and it was one of the activities he did frequently with his late grandfather.

While going over the homestudy, our social worker strongly hinted that he didn't want to include trap shooting as one of DH's hobbies. He mentioned a couple of times that he was concerned about how adoption workers would view it and asked if DH did it often. We didn't know what to say. It doesn't feel right to lie because this is part of who DH is, but I also don't want this to prevent us from getting a placement. At this point, I don't think DH would let me ask our s/w to remove that part because he's insulted by the implication that there's something wrong with his interest in trap. Should I be concerned? Do you think adoption workers will really care?

[kakuehl]

I have no clue, I just wanted to offer you some support. In this politically correct day and age, it's hard to say. When my siblings and I were growing up, we always knew where dad kept the loaded handgun. (It's currently in his bureau drawer.) It was never a problem in our household. today... who knows!

[Ians mom]

I dont see why it would be a problem as long as the guns are secure, like you already said.

My mother is a foster/adopt parent and she has a gun as well.

[athikers]

If they are stored properly, I dont' see why not.

Lots of kids like to hunt... at least where I'm from. I would leave it in there if its important to your family.

[MamaS]

This was the headline in today's Atlanta Journal newspaper:

GUN PERMIT APPLICATIONS UP 79% IN GEORGIA

Before long, foster parents will be required to have a gun in the house!
I would say, be honest. If you aren't, later on someone may call it "falsifying" an application and cause you a lot of grief.

[DreamingAzure]

It's funny how different areas of the country seem to think about things different lol

Here in Texas as long the guns are properly locked away as state law requires you are fine. I'm planning on moving all of my guns over to my parents house as I don't have a locked cabinet for them to go into. I'll be substituting an aluminum baseball bat for my normal rifle...lol oh well..I'll get use to it I'm sure lol

Personally I wouldn't change it, I would think that shooting trap is more acceptable then hunting...lol but who knows how the minds of SWs work...lol

[Yash]

Originally Posted by Kedu

While going over the homestudy, our social worker strongly hinted that he didn't want to include trap shooting as one of DH's hobbies. He mentioned a couple of times that he was concerned about how adoption workers would view it and asked if DH did it often. We didn't know what to say. It doesn't feel right to lie because this is part of who DH is, but I also don't want this to prevent us from getting a placement. At this point, I don't think DH would let me ask our s/w to remove that part because he's insulted by the implication that there's something wrong with his interest in trap. Should I be concerned? Do you think adoption workers will really care?

If the SW is suggesting you don't mention this particular hobby, then I wouldn't mention it. If later asked about hobbies, does your husband have to mention this particular one? When people ask you what are your favorite hobbies, do you always remember to list everyone?

I don't believe the implication is something is wrong, but let's be honest SWs like us all have their likes and dislikes and maybe this SW doesn't want you to not be considered for a child due to one of your husband's hobby. And because your husband is a cop, I'm sure there is an assumption that he probably does do target practice or some other shooting type thing so he can be at the top of his game at his job.

For me, when my SW suggested something or hinted heavily at something I made the changes because I figured she knew her job better than me and she only wanted to help me be shown in the best light to everyone SW, CW who read my papework so I could get a fost/adopt placement as quickly as possible.

[Kedu]

Thanks for the replies. I think I'll talk a bit more about this with DH. I do think it's because of the area of the country in which we live that this is even an issue. We're in MA , outside of Boston and it's a pretty liberal area where gun ownership is frowned upon. It's not that you can't foster or adopt with a gun. There are even guidelines in the home visit info about how guns should be stored. It's just the culture of the area-guns are bad and people who own them are weird.

At this point, I think it's going to be hard for me to convince DH to OK removing the part about trap shooting. He feels like his values are being questioned and he can be STUBBORN when he feels put down. I love his strength of character, but it's hard when he digs his heels in on something I don't see as quite so important. The s/w is going to email us the homestudy and we can email back any revisions. He won't do that until at least later this week so that's when we'll have to decide. I'll keep you posted.

[MamaS]

If you are trying to convice your husband, tell him a lot of younger women are vegetarian and might be concerned about him trapping and shooting those poor skeets. Don't mention any snipe hunts either!

[Kedu]

Originally Posted by MamaS

If you are trying to convice your husband, tell him a lot of younger women are vegetarian and might be concerned about him trapping and shooting those poor skeets. Don't mention any snipe hunts either!

LOL, I'll tell him that they won't like him shooting the clay pigeons, because clay pigeons are pigeons too.

[Perfect7]

My dh is a retired cop and we are now PI's. We have several handguns in the home as part of our employment and we showed our cw where we keep them in a digital keypad safe (so no kids can find a key). I wouldn't just specify you keep them locked up, I would specify how so they will know. It wasn't a problem for us and we have a pre-adoptive placement. You may want to note that any child will not be going to shooting events with dh as well. I think there are issues with foster children being allowed to handle guns.

[greenrobin]

My only concern in "leaving it out" is the honesty issue. It's an honest hobby. It's something that he will probably continue to do. If he does it and the foster child knows about it, he or she will eventually mention it and then the hoopla will begin.

I would ask the sw about it directly. Find out what the regulations are in your area. If your sw gives you opinion vs. facts, I'd think about switching agencies. As it is, he's asking you to lie by omission. That just doesn't set well with me.

[myangels]

My husband is a Deputy and brings home his guns ect as well. It was not a issue with them. He also told them he likes to shoot on days off.Not only did he show them where the guns was he showed them some gun safety .

[aclee]

As a fellow board member in MA, I can say this is NOT a firearms friendly state. I do think it will make a difference. I think the fact your DH is in law enforcement would balance that though. I think that people that own guns in this state that don't have that "reason" too, are frowned upon in this state.

Are you with DCF or a private agency?

Good Luck

[loveajax]

I am in MA also and I agree with Aclee that it is like the least "friendly" gun state. That said, my DH is a private investigator and has a license and it was not an issue in our HS (I don't even remember them asking about it!). If it comes up, I would be totally honest. I think you will be fine, especially given your DH's occupation. Good luck!!