[rottymom]

We have run into a interesting problem and I wanted some other mom advice. We have had fs since he was 8 weeks, a very difficult baby. We asked he be drug tested and it was refused...so now at 18 months we have had him evaluated by mental health and he is boderline autistic...boderline because he was too young to give an official diagnosis. He continues to be a difficult kid in behaviors but I don't complain to the caseworker in fact I rarely talk to her. He is in therapy for behaviors. He is getting services for developmental delays as well. TPR was in Oct. We have an adoption date set for March. We have been trying to get all information needed for subsidy to the caseworker who inform me fs may be eligible for 50 dollars because he is consider normal. I explain to her behaviors as well as give dr evaluations to her. She has all paperwork from early intervention services. This week caseworker informs me subsidy approved a whopping $100 for monthly support. I am upset of course. Fs needs bi-weekly behavior therapy as well as OT that I am on a waiting list. He has all the signs of autism and yet his approved subsidy is smaller than my girls that had no diagnosis at their adoption time. I am confused. Apparently the state has a budget crisis.

This amount is not acceptable to me. Should I hold off the adoption until I can get an "official" diagnosis? They tell me I can go back to subsidy once I have a diagnosis and have it raised however we just tried to renegotiate my daughter subsidy due to new diagnosis and was "awarded" $25. I want to be difficult and demanding but I am honestly somewhat afraid they will push adoption or move him into another home.

Monthly support is huge for us because we are on a small salary (ew, that sounds bad but I mean if my kids were normal I wouldn't be paying all this extra money for extra help). I had to quit my job when we adopted our daughter because her behaviors were so bad our babsitters kept quitting. Anyway, I am really upset as we love our baby but I don't know how we can continue to help him if we can't get a decent monthly support.

[Singlemom619]

I would not finalize until it's something you know you could live with and provide support until he's 18 with... If it's not going to work with what they're saying, then don't sign anything.

[fredalina]

You are entitled to the money. No, i take it back. Your son is entitled to the support. If not Title IV-E then state assistance for his special needs. i don't think you should accept it until you are comfortable that it's at a level you can support him on until at least his 18th birthday. Children with autism really do need early intervention services like OT (as you obviously know), and your son is entitled to it. If the state can't provide it via insurance, they need to provide it via stipend.

You may want to talk to your foster parent association for a referral to an attorney who's experienced in this area. Don't let the state bully you into taking less money than your son needs. Remember, if you don't adopt him, the state will have to pay for him until they find another adoptive resource, and quite possibly beyond that as well. And furthermore, what they're doing may be illegal.