[fostapeepz]

We are very frustrated. We have twin 5yo girls that we have had with us for over a year. When they came to us their case was supposedly moving towards termination, then it went back and forth from reunification to termination multiple times. Mom just would only ever do just enough of her plan for the team to keep giving her more and more chances. Finally the team had enough of moms mediocre efforts, and filed termination.

Mom also had a baby boy - who was 13mo old at the time that visits were pulled with the girls. HHS pulled the baby because mom was not taking care of his medical needs. He was placed with us. His health improved, his development improved, and he is healthy and happy. The 3 had been having weekly visits, that increased to 4 full days and nights a week, since the baby was born, so they had a bond. Now that they've lived together in our home for the last 6 months, that bond is stronger than ever.

When termination was filed on the girls, the judge asked for the papers on the baby, too. The GAL filed because the judge basically insisted - but she wasn't positive she had a strong enough case. We were supposed to have court in December, but it was continued due to the county atty having another trial that day. Now it is set in March. Well, now the GAL is getting cold feel and trying to change the babies goal from TPR to reunification. She proposed this back in December and the rest of the team shot it down - but now she's pushing it again. I'm really upset - because if it hadn't been for the continuance, we wouldn't be dealing with this right now! She says if they change the goal, they will have to remove the baby so that it doesn't confuse the girls. And yet, she says she doesn't believe for a minute that Mom will actually follow through with a plan to get the baby back, either - so her proposition is just based on putting together a plan that mom will fail, so that she has a stronger case. I do not agree with this. Her proposition will cause trauma to all 3 kids, and could significantly damage the security the girls are finally building with us.

I trust that the caseworker, supervisor, casa worker, and other members of the team will think this through. But in the meantime, I feel very helpless. I checked online to try to find current HHS policy for siblings, and evidently our state doesn't specifically spell it out to keep siblings together. Any suggestions or advice from any of you? I truly believe these kids will all be ours in the end - but I don't see any reason to traumatize them any further than they already have been just to make a case.

[Withay]

I've never heard of this happening. It does seem odd that everyone but the GAL is still pushing for tpr. Seems that DHS would step in and say that the baby needs to stay where he is bonded.

[fostapeepz]

I know the system doesn't want to recognize the bond that the baby has with us - but add to that the bond he has with his siblings, and the bond they have with him and it seems like they would see it as pretty important! I don't understand this GAL at all.

[Mom2blessings]

Originally Posted by fostapeepz

We are very frustrated. We have twin 5yo girls that we have had with us for over a year. When they came to us their case was supposedly moving towards termination, then it went back and forth from reunification to termination multiple times. Mom just would only ever do just enough of her plan for the team to keep giving her more and more chances. Finally the team had enough of moms mediocre efforts, and filed termination.

Mom also had a baby boy - who was 13mo old at the time that visits were pulled with the girls. HHS pulled the baby because mom was not taking care of his medical needs. He was placed with us. His health improved, his development improved, and he is healthy and happy. The 3 had been having weekly visits, that increased to 4 full days and nights a week, since the baby was born, so they had a bond. Now that they've lived together in our home for the last 6 months, that bond is stronger than ever.

When termination was filed on the girls, the judge asked for the papers on the baby, too. The GAL filed because the judge basically insisted - but she wasn't positive she had a strong enough case. We were supposed to have court in December, but it was continued due to the county atty having another trial that day. Now it is set in March. Well, now the GAL is getting cold feel and trying to change the babies goal from TPR to reunification. She proposed this back in December and the rest of the team shot it down - but now she's pushing it again. I'm really upset - because if it hadn't been for the continuance, we wouldn't be dealing with this right now! She says if they change the goal, they will have to remove the baby so that it doesn't confuse the girls. And yet, she says she doesn't believe for a minute that Mom will actually follow through with a plan to get the baby back, either - so her proposition is just based on putting together a plan that mom will fail, so that she has a stronger case. I do not agree with this. Her proposition will cause trauma to all 3 kids, and could significantly damage the security the girls are finally building with us.

I trust that the caseworker, supervisor, casa worker, and other members of the team will think this through. But in the meantime, I feel very helpless. I checked online to try to find current HHS policy for siblings, and evidently our state doesn't specifically spell it out to keep siblings together. Any suggestions or advice from any of you? I truly believe these kids will all be ours in the end - but I don't see any reason to traumatize them any further than they already have been just to make a case.

I wonder how confusing it would be for the baby to be moved to yet another home...and how confusing it will be for the girls to have the baby moved.

It seems much more confusing to me to move the child even if they are still going to do a congruent plan.