[MamaKnkids]

Our first weekend with our 16 y/o daughter went great. She's a sweetie and very open, honest, and fun. Everyone got along great, and the hardest part was taking her back. She didn't want to go back, and we didn't want her to.

She is scheduled to move in Dec. 19th with 2 more visits between now and then, one for 5 days over Thanksgiving. It is going to be even harder to have her go back after 5 days!!!!

She is truly one in a million. She and I talked about how we're sure we'll have "moments" but how we'll work it out. She's amazing. I am so so so blessed!!

I love that because she's 16 she is able to talk about her feelings, fears, anxieties, joys, etc. I HIGHLY recommend adopting a teenager. It's wonderful!!

And I do know that it won't always be perfect, but my gosh is this girl great. All her workers told us that she is their "favorite" and I see why. She has a wonderful attitude and like I said, is so incredibly open!! It's amazing!!!!!

Can ya'll tell we're happy.. ??!?

[Yash]

I'm glad it went well.

[rk36]

I think teens ar great too. I am so glad your first visit went well. We are adopting a 14 year old girl and we are on our last visit. She moves in Friday and we sign placement papers Monday. It has been hard for us to take her back at the end of the weekend also.

[Canadamom92]

It's wonderful that you are connecting so well. It must be really difficult having to bring her back between visits, especially since she knows what's going on and is in full support of going forward. In a way, though, it is giving her time to process things and give herself some closure where she is currently living. Not long now!

We've told our worker repeatedly that we are interested in being considered for teens (we are trying to do straight adopt from foster care), but every time we mention it she looks at us like we've got two heads each. "You'd consider a teenager?!?!" Um... yeah, we've said it several times. Why is it so difficult for her to wrap her head around the idea?

[Perfect7]

So glad things are going well for you! I agree that teenagers are wonderful, and they need someone to help guide them into their future so they don't face it alone. You two will probably be the best of friends. How wonderful!!

[Mom2blessings]

Originally Posted by MamaKnkids

Our first weekend with our 16 y/o daughter went great. She's a sweetie and very open, honest, and fun. Everyone got along great, and the hardest part was taking her back. She didn't want to go back, and we didn't want her to.

She is scheduled to move in Dec. 19th with 2 more visits between now and then, one for 5 days over Thanksgiving. It is going to be even harder to have her go back after 5 days!!!!

She is truly one in a million. She and I talked about how we're sure we'll have "moments" but how we'll work it out. She's amazing. I am so so so blessed!!

I love that because she's 16 she is able to talk about her feelings, fears, anxieties, joys, etc. I HIGHLY recommend adopting a teenager. It's wonderful!!

And I do know that it won't always be perfect, but my gosh is this girl great. All her workers told us that she is their "favorite" and I see why. She has a wonderful attitude and like I said, is so incredibly open!! It's amazing!!!!!

Can ya'll tell we're happy.. ??!?

How exciting! I'm tearing up just reading this Another one who will always have somewhere to call home...and another family's love just grew tremendously...what a wonderful thought! Congratulations!

[MilehighDad]

Congratulations, I am sure she will be a great addition to your family. I am traveling out tomorrow to escort our new 11-year old daughter home on Friday, so I know how exciting it is. The wait while we visited her and pushed ICPC paperwork for the last two months has been killer. She didn't want us to leave her either and is so excited to be coming home.

Adoption of waiting teenagers is getting more common, but each one is a tremendous victory for them. So many teenagers have lost hope and are not even trying to be adopted, I'm glad your daughter could stay hopeful and that her need will be met.

Congrats.

[sergekel]

Hmmm....

Congrats to all the new teen parents!

A little off topic...but on the foster forum I posted that I have a 15 year old bio daughter and this weekend past met a 17 year old boy that I recognized from a state photolisting. I really liked him!

I ran my concerns about his age and my daughter's age past the foster forum and not one had a positive comment to say about it.

Pretty much it was agreed that I'd be putting my daughter and the boy at risk of temptation of being sexually attracted together. This was my concern...but I think I sort of expected more support than not about taking a waiting teen in.

Have you all who are recently adopting teens..and I notice that they are within a couple of years of an opposite-sex child of yours....considered the possibility of sex acts between your teens?

I want to do the right thing...to protect my children and to offer a home at the same time. Ack. Why are decisions so hard??

I called the boys case worker on Monday....left a message and haven't heard back. So, maybe that's my answer right there on whether or not we should pursue him. I'm not going to call again. If it's meant to be, they'll call me.

Thanks for your thoughts.

[MamaKnkids]

Originally Posted by sergekel

Hmmm....

Congrats to all the new teen parents!

A little off topic...but on the foster forum I posted that I have a 15 year old bio daughter and this weekend past met a 17 year old boy that I recognized from a state photolisting. I really liked him!

I ran my concerns about his age and my daughter's age past the foster forum and not one had a positive comment to say about it.

Pretty much it was agreed that I'd be putting my daughter and the boy at risk of temptation of being sexually attracted together. This was my concern...but I think I sort of expected more support than not about taking a waiting teen in.

Have you all who are recently adopting teens..and I notice that they are within a couple of years of an opposite-sex child of yours....considered the possibility of sex acts between your teens?

I want to do the right thing...to protect my children and to offer a home at the same time. Ack. Why are decisions so hard??

I called the boys case worker on Monday....left a message and haven't heard back. So, maybe that's my answer right there on whether or not we should pursue him. I'm not going to call again. If it's meant to be, they'll call me.

Thanks for your thoughts.

Well.. my new daughter is 16, and my oldest bio son is almost 15 - and honestly I am not concerned with our situation at all. Our daughter has not had any history of acting out sexually, however. I would have concerns with some of the teen girls we've met - but not this one. And my son sees her as his sister already. One of his friends' mom made a comment about how pretty our daughter is, and that she hopes my son knows she is not a "built in girlfriend".. (GRRR) and my son was VERY offended by that comment. He feels protective of her already, almost like he is the older one.

I think with some teens, it could for sure become an issue. It would depend on both kids in the home.

Also - you can establish firm rules like we have -no boys in the girl's room, no girls in the boys' room - they can talk from the hallway or in the common areas. Nobody walks around half dressed. Locks on bathroom doors, etc.

Best of luck to you. Teens need a family, too, and good for you for considering this boy.

[MilehighDad]

Of course you have to be careful with older kids of opposite sexes in your home, but that applies whether it is birth kids, adopted kids, foster kids, neighborhood kids, best friends or any mix of the above. I will say that I don't think it is that likely for a newly adopted kid to form a romantic attachment with a new sibling or vice versa, simply because there is too much else going on in their heads. That doesn't mean it is impossible but I wouldn't shy away from adopting an older kid simply because of that risk. But, if your current kid keeps talking about how "hot" the potential match is, well, er, run!