[hopetobedad]

I am going to mediation soon on my foster children. I was wondering if I could get examples/ideas of what you were willing to allow for birth families and your children. I do not want to be too strict but i do not want to be uncautios. They (birth parentys) make a bunch of poor choices and often do not consider the effects it has on the children. Thye also say things that the children take to be the truth when it is very far from it. I posted in the adoptive parents section also and I am hoping to find some help
Thanks

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by hopetobedad

I am going to mediation soon on my foster children. I was wondering if I could get examples/ideas of what you were willing to allow for birth families and your children. I do not want to be too strict but i do not want to be uncautios. They (birth parentys) make a bunch of poor choices and often do not consider the effects it has on the children. Thye also say things that the children take to be the truth when it is very far from it. I posted in the adoptive parents section also and I am hoping to find some help
Thanks

First: Congrats on the adoption!!!!

My foster son's case is going to mediation, too! I was wondering about what would be appropriate post-adoption and even posted at the forums asking for suggestions. Right now, Mom gets the baby once a week (unsupervised) for 6 hours. She is not abusive but just isn't able to parent or complete her case plan. I wasn't sure what she would want after the adoption and I really didn't want to feel trapped in a VERY open adoption and then be sorry for my bargain. I was worried she would want to continue weekly visits and even monthly visits seemed like a lot because they would be on the weekend-which is my only free time.
Fortunately, the baby's cw said "I just want to let you know that the department doesn't approve of more than one visit every three to four months with occasional phone calls or emails in between. Three visits a year is perfect for me-and I'm very relieved about the whole process.

Have you asked the child's caseworker what they recommend? It may surprise you. And it helps going into mediation if the department is stating that ____ visits per year are recommended.

For my daughter, Hanna, I started a web blog for her b-mom. It's extremely easy to set up and only takes a few minutes to get a nice looking page up online. I update it at least once a month with pictures and notes, funny stories..etc. I offered to create one for "Brandon"s b-mom and the cw thought it was a great idea. It allows you to update the bio family without constantly sending letters or being on the phone.

https://www.google.com/accounts/NewAccount?service=blogger&continue=https%3A%2F%2F www.blogger.com%2Floginz%3Fd%3D%252Fcreate-blog.g%26a%3DADD_SERVICE_FLAG&hl=en&sendvemail=tru e&followup=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.blogger.com%2Floginz% 3Fd%3D%252Fhome%26a%3DSERVICE_ONLY&naui=8