[lakin11]

I'm sure I can't be the only one dealing with a contested adoption am I?

In our case, its the alleged bio father of our kids. We have had them for almost 3 years. We filed for adoption after their first year in foster care/our care. While we really don't doubt that he is the bio father, he has also never done anything to prove it...even after all this time.

Bio mom signed adoption consents to us, but he refuses, even with a fairly generous open adoption agreement. He has not even seen the kids in over 3 years. They were 2, 3, and 4 when he last saw them, they are now 5.5, almost 7, and almost 8.

We just keep running into delay after delay when it comes to court. I would have never imagined we'd have still been waiting when this all started.

Anyone else out there looking for support?

[melissa_bear003]

I'm so sorry. Stories like this make me so angry, and wonder when the heck do the courts FINALLY wake up and put these children first?!

I wish you and the kids all the best

[lakin11]

Thanks!
We have the support of DCS, but since we filed for adoption before TPR was finalized, we were sent to another court system.....hence the problem. Add in the continuances we've dealt with, bickering lawyers, a sick judge, a new judge coming up, possibly starting the entire trial over, etc.........well, the roller coaster just keeps going.

[Canadamom92]

Lakin - I can't believe this is still dragging on! I remember when they first came to you - it seems like ages ago. How is this any good for the kids?! It's not fair to any of you.

[lakin11]

It will be 3 years in Jan. With no physical contact with either bio in that time. We have now had some contact with bio mom since for almost a year we had 1 of the kids 1/2 brothers (baby). He has now gone home, but we still have contact with him pretty often.

No physical contact will be held between bmom and the kids until at least 4 months post adoption. I know this continuances are hard on her too b/c it just adds to the timeline.

It has been a very long journey. Thanks for the support. I don't get here as much as I used to, but still think of friends here.

[lambeausam]

Can't they go after him on abandonment grounds?

Sorry for the problems you are having!

Sam

[lakin11]

Abandonment and being unfit were the basis of filing our petition, saying we didn't need their consent (this was for both bios as they both disappeared). However, bio dad has a lawyer paid for by the Mexican consulate and a lawyer from the public defenders office, even though he's not been in the US since 2 years ago and never allowed back here again.

We are still waiting to finish the trial to determine that he really did abandon the kids. There have been 3 days of trial since Feb. 08. (We filed Feb 07--a year went by w/ no action). The first day from 9-6 (an hour for luncy) we only got through 3 police officer's testimony....that had nothing to do with the kid's case, but the arrests for DV that landed bio dad in jail in the first place. 2 witnesses the 2nd day and 1 witness the 3rd. We haven't been to court since April. Continuance, continuance, continuance.

We will hopefully get there one day!!!

[Hadley2]

We have something similar brewing although it's a little different. I'm curious, though, are you the party petitioning for termination, or is the state stepping up to do that?

[lakin11]

The state filed to TPR on both parents in Feb 2007. We also filed a petition to adopt Feb 2007. We filed because the Mexican consulate had contacted the CW that bio dad was now wanting the kids back and that they had the power to override the US courts over the matter (alluding that they had powers like ICWA). We had already been contemplating hiring a lawyer, but this solidfied our decision. We knew that was not true, but afraid the local DCS/judges would just let the kids go in order to avoid a fight. They probably would have too, but given that we had a good case and a strong lawyer behind us, they joined our efforts.

Because the adoption petition takes 'precident' over the TPR (since if the judge ruled in our favor, TPR would have been automatic), the 2 separate cases were combined. For awhile there were 4 parties involved. Us, bio mom, bio dad, and DCS/GAL. The bios were working together for awhile, but bio mom knew she didn't have a chance to win (was never involved in the case) and her lawyer adviced her that bio dad's chances were slim. So she signed consents to us in order to secure even the slightest chance to see the kids in the future. She's also willing to testify on our behalf.

The biggest delays in the whole process is just getting bounced all around on the court docket. The court that handles these matters is definitely booked all the time. The judge who is currently 'head' of that court has been ill and was set to retire anyway. He has not been on the bench since mid June? There are other judges/magistrates/commissioners who are handling regular adoptions and other minor court matters.

So Hadley to answer your question...we didn't petition to terminate.....we petitioned to adopt saying that the bios abandoned the kids for over 12 mos, were unfit, and had provided not type of support or communication, therefore we did not need their consent to adopt. We had to file notice to both parents that we intended to adopt the kids. Bio mom did not contest, but did enter the case later. Bio dad contested right away (with his 2 free lawyers--one paid for by the state, one paid for by Mexico/consulate). He has yet to even prove paternity in almost 3 years.....which that alone is enough to throw his contesting out the window, but the judge wanted to hear the merits of the case. So we wait. And wait. And wait.