[Perfect7]

I've never been a foster parent and am not too familiar with the foster system, except for what we've learned from this process. I was hoping a lot of you foster parents out there could shed some light on why these kiddos move around so much in the system. Please don't think I'm being critical of foster parents. You are the unsung heroes! I know that fp have little control in children being moved. Just trying to understand why so much disruption is necessary?

[Boulderbabe]

Here are some reasons:

1) They're sent back to the bios. Then bioparents mess up again, and kid comes back into the system. If the previous foster parents don't have an open bed, the kid goes on to family #3.

2) The foster family that is chosen isn't a good match for the child's needs. The child has to be moved to a family that can address their emotional or physical needs.

3) The child is in a stable foster placement. The ASFA deadline is coming, though, and the child must be put in a "permanent" home. So they move the kid to a pre-adoptive family. Then the court orders reunification, so the kid goes back to birth mom. Then the birthmom messes up again, so the kid goes to foster family #3.

4) The foster parents get so frustrated with the system, they give up fostering. Kids move again.

5) Siblings are placed together. Then, because of their issues, they have to be split up. Or the reverse: kids are placed separately, everybody bonds in their new family, and then suddenly the CW decides to rip them all out so they can be sent to a placement together.

[jbee]

i can tell you why some of ours were moved...
set of three boy sibs, oldest exposed himself to dh, we have two little girls of our own and cannot risk that behavior. cw would not move just him, moved them all. next month, oldest kills several cats and is moved to residential hospital facility. the other two stayed where they are.
15yo girl has a meltdown one night, starts talking about hurting herself and how she can accuse dh of abuse to get him in trouble (all over because she cannot have a cellphone...). next day cw decides to move her. she later realizes what she's done and wants to come back, but you can't unring a bell. we were open to having her. she moves through another fhome, then goes to a preadoptive one, gets disrupted b/c not a good fit, is now in a residential up the street from us.
our son's mom turned 18, signed herself out of care, went mia for awhile, got terminated.
so those are our experiences. two of three, cw would not listen to us and made snap decisions.

[Godmother]

6) An emergency of some kind occurs in the foster family. Foster mom becomes ill, breaks her hip.... Relatives of foster parent become ill and foster parent must go out of state to care for them.
7) Child was put in a marginal placement in the first place. Some homes are limited by space and other placements to the ages they can take. i.e. A child can only stay in foster parents room until 12 month of age. The child cannot share a room with other children in the home because of sex/age rules. A boy and girl have been sharing a room, but one of them turns 6... no more sharing. The foster parent may have accepted the placement in the first place because they were told it would only be a few weeks, but it drags out into months. DHS won't move the kid and suddenly the foster parent is in the wrong for breaking the rules.

[cowboyswife]

Just wanted to put what I have learned in! They were put in FC then went back to mother then back to care, back to mother moved to new town, back in care, FP was (and still is) very mean to foster kids so the boys were moved to new home, the FP mother desided that she would like to have them with her so moved to new home, and then us! Hope all is going well with you and let us know what is going on!!!

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by cowboyswife

Just wanted to put what I have learned in! They were put in FC then went back to mother then back to care, back to mother moved to new town, back in care, FP was (and still is) very mean to foster kids so the boys were moved to new home, the FP mother desided that she would like to have them with her so moved to new home, and then us! Hope all is going well with you and let us know what is going on!!!

You hang in there, girl! Those boys are in a wonderful place with you-

[mommytoEli]

sometimes foster parents need more support than they get, sometimes relatives teach children how to sabotage the placement in hopes that the kids will be so bad that the cw's will move the children....back into their care, the child may have emotional problems or issues that are exacerbated by another child in your home with similar issues. these are all first hand experiences i had with one child. sadly, i gave up. looking back, i know i could have done it...it was only 2 more week. but at the time, i thought i'd die. i think that there are lots of things that can be done to save a placement, but i think everyone is just too busy. and foster parents get overwhelmed....this is an emotional job.

that being said....i adopted 2 kids who were in umpteen placements before coming here....they were a nightmare! lol.....but for some reason....it clicked, we clicked, and we found a way to make it work....i think sometimes success or failure is made in something as simple as a personality match/conflict. again..i think more could be done.i think if there were more thought into placement, and more support, it would probably happen less.

[akcskye]

Yeah, consider, children in foster care aren't like children you give birth to in the fact of the life experiences they've had.

I know some people for sure that, had they been given the choice, would NOT have picked their biological parents in a million years, even though they grew up with them.

So, when you get older children put into established families, or even new ones, at that...the children come with issues...new parents have issues they didn't know they'd have...as another poster mentioned...children are encouraged to try to sabotage their placement in hopes of going back, etc.

[Perfect7]

Thank you all, that really does help explain a lot to me. I really never considered reunification as a reason to move, as retarded as that sounds. I always assumed they tried to reuinite them with families and they only went back if things were great. Maybe in a perfect world...but it helps me to see that not all kiddos with multiple placements should have red flags raised as having "severe emotional issues". Sometimes, it sounds, it's just what happens.

[Tudu]

Originally Posted by Perfect7

I really never considered reunification as a reason to move, as retarded as that sounds. but it helps me to see that not all kiddos with multiple placements should have red flags raised as having "severe emotional issues". Sometimes, it sounds, it's just what happens.

My sibling group had about 14 homes (we had to count in their files and ask previous FP) and they were returned home between 3-5 times, depending on the child. Some of the additional placements were b/c FP had spanked them or had been accused of abusing them (I completely understand why the FP did what they did, my kids falsey accused them so they could move), they destroyed everything of value another home had (again to move), one of my kids tried to kill herself, they were moved to be together and apart, they were moved b/c they were endangering other children, made the DH uncomfortable, and many other silly reasons. I would say that even if the moves were not always the child's "fault" it is still a concern b/c it doesn't allow the child to have a stable caregiver leading to attachment issues when they are in a permanent home. We were told our kids were the cream of the crop, no issues at all, they began having sex with each other on the preplacement visits, assaulted me too many times to recall, destroyed their toys within minutes of receiving them, and had no idea how to even act normal for short periods. Good thing we were prepared for the worst.

[mommytoEli]

Originally Posted by Tudu

My sibling group had about 14 homes (we had to count in their files and ask previous FP) and they were returned home between 3-5 times, depending on the child. Some of the additional placements were b/c FP had spanked them or had been accused of abusing them (I completely understand why the FP did what they did, my kids falsey accused them so they could move), they destroyed everything of value another home had (again to move), one of my kids tried to kill herself, they were moved to be together and apart, they were moved b/c they were endangering other children, made the DH uncomfortable, and many other silly reasons. I would say that even if the moves were not always the child's "fault" it is still a concern b/c it doesn't allow the child to have a stable caregiver leading to attachment issues when they are in a permanent home. We were told our kids were the cream of the crop, no issues at all, they began having sex with each other on the preplacement visits, assaulted me too many times to recall, destroyed their toys within minutes of receiving them, and had no idea how to even act normal for short periods. Good thing we were prepared for the worst.

that's awful! but yet a really good example of how a cw doesn't prepare a parent for the placement. so often they tell the receiving parent that there are no issues...when there are SO many. i sometimes think they do this to give the kids a clean slate....but sometimes parents caught off guard weren't prepared to deal with the issues that came. i'm pretty sure i could NOT have dealt with some of the issues you mentioned above. they do a great disservice to these children when they lie (and i know this is not always...but it is too often). the children i ended up adopting came with a similar story- no issues, cream of the crop. yeah.....bunch of liars. turns out they had so many placements no one really knows how many homes they were in the 3 year period before they got to me. everyone's records are different. they were "returned" to the group home sometimes after only a week in a placement. no issues? right......but what frosts me the MOST is that after a few months we suspected something was going on and we asked.....no issues they say again...we ask for a psych eval, we are told they never had one and there is no need for one. FINALLY, nearly 2 years later, months before finalization, they tell us that the kids need a psych eval. really? we take them....it is NOT good AND TURNS OUT THEY ALREADY HAD ONE! a week after we said we'd take them as a placement and a few days before they moved in.....and there were PLENTY of dx of concern on them both! yet we were never told....even though we ASKED! i suspect they were having a heck of a time placing them and just needed them to be somewhere.....but in LYING to me about it, it greatly delayed us seeking appropriate help for our children and nearly drove us to disrupt bc we couldn't figure out to deal with 2 "perfect" kids with "no problems." when i reported problems to the cw i was made to feel like i was CRAZY! once we got the dx and read up on them, we realized immediately what we were doing wrong and were able to start the healing process. but it would have been alot faster and healthier in this house had they been truthful.

all that to say....sometimes, cw's are not truthful about the REAL issues. and not everyone is equipped to deal with every problem. as foster parents we are told to expect the worst....but when the phone rings and they spin tales of joy and happiness and leave out the realities ....it only sets everyone up for failure.

[Withay]

One other reason for a move is that they are placed in the original foster home for an evaluation. This occurs most often with newborns.

I know that I get newborns for a 2 - 4 week period to evaluate what level of foster home they need. Do they need a home where there are no other children because of high needs due to drug/alcohol withdrawal. Would a placement with a new foster family (new to the system) be a good fit because the baby doesn't have many medical issues? Does the child have mild to moderate medical needs that would allow them to be in a level 2 home?

Another reason is that perhaps the first foster home does shelter care only. I know that here, the first 2 weeks a child is in care it is considered 'shelter care'. After that the child may stay in the original foster home, or be moved to a longer term home.

[Mkuhlmann06]

When my son was placed with us as a preadoptive placement, we were "home" number 15, in 8 years (that includes 2 reunifications). (He was 11 at time of placement). In reviewing his profile, I noticed he was never anywhere longer than 7 months, except for 1 reunification with biodad until biodad was arrested/convicted of molesting a 14yr old girl and the first 3 years of his life with both bioparents.

That said, he was 1 of 4 the first two times taken into care. (now he's one of 6). At some point the group of 4 were split into 3 separate homes, 2 girls staying together. Then his lying/stealing caused homes to ask that he be moved. Other times he was moved due to a change in foster care level (ie therapuetic vs regular). Other times were documented for other than child's behaviors (but it doesn't say exactly what).

He's been with us for over 13 months now and has SIGNIFICANTLY improved. The constant moving DID cause additional "issues" or worsen certain behaviors he already had. So it is upsetting to see 8 years of my son's life spent at 14 different places and what that has done to him.

So much disruption isn't necessary, but it does happen. And I have to admit, I have been on the other side of the coin.

We were licensed as fost to adopt, where we only wanted low legal risk placements, (we wanted a boy, a boy and girl, or 2 boys). We got a call for 2 sisters (11 & 12) coming into care for their first time, the night before thanksgiving. It was the 11yr olds bday, and they were desperate to place them. It was only supposed to be a weekend, then a month til the hearing, etc... it turned into almost 6 months. Once we found out that the county was going to recommend the girls not be returned to home and they were going to spend another 6-12 months in care, we asked that they be moved to a long term foster home, as we were starting to do straight matching and we didn't want to have them moved only once we were placed, as we felt that would do even more harm to them.

They were EXTREMELY attached to biomom, and knew us as a foster mom/dad and called us by our first names, but I know the move still caused some additional heartache, even just based on the unknown, going to another strange house, having to change schools after making friends. It was an EXTREMELY hard decision for my DH and I and we didn't make it quickly or lightly, but it was the right one for us at the time. And the girls were great girls with very mild issues, so it wasn't their behaviors that caused the move, it was the situation.

I do think they ended up in at least 2 more homes before they were reunified with biomom. The home they went to after leaving us, I had recommended them not to go to (they had a weekend visit before the final move), as I thought the fostermom would get too overwhelmed. They lived kinda far for all the visits they were required and she ran a daycare in her home, had 2 3 year twin boys (one medically fragile), and was 8 months pregnant. I believe they didn't stay there very long.

We're actually in the process of being considered for an 8yr old girl. We have an interview next week (one other family is being considered as well) and she spent 2 years at the same foster family (8yr old and her 3 younger siblings). They are being separated for adoption, so she was moved to new foster home when the others were placed in their preadoptive home, as the fostermom needed a "break" as she was tired after having the 4 of them. I find the 2yr stay in one foster home a rarity.

[greenrobin]

I have only one thing to add about moving.

In the case of Queenie and her sibs, the older kids were very emotionally challenged. Initially 3 of them went to an aunt and the other to a friend's house. The mom became dangerous to the families, so the kids were removed to foster care. From our home, two of them went to short term psychiatric placements and then to a shelter because there were no families willing to take them. The other one went to an assessment facility and then to a therapeutic home. Because there was a bed available and it was in county, the judge in the case moved Queenie to be with her sister.

From there, the judge ordered the kids sent to a relative. The relative kept them for several months before sending one back to the shelter. He was placed with a family later. The other three came back into care a month ago. Our agency set up a home for the older 2 (on the suggestion of the placement worker) and Queenie was coming home. But, the judge in the case insisted that the 3 be placed together and in the home county.

So, sometimes, multiple moves are part of the judge's issue. The judge in this case believes that all kids from his/her county need to be fostered in that county--even if it means placing a child and then moving them when room becomes available.

[Lorraine123]

My daughter was in 5 homes in 2 years. She was taken into care and she sexually acted out with another child there, was moved to another foster home, was moved to live with her maternal grandmother and her husband was found to be into child porn, so she was moved to a therapeutic foster home, and then to us. I think its very sad.