[Perfect7]

Thank you all again so much. It really helps to explain a lot of things that I wouldn't have thought of. They all make sense and I guess it's more important to establish WHY they moved so much instead of how many times. You've been a great help and very informative. Thank you!!

[Lorraine123]

I guess it's more important to establish WHY they moved so much instead of how many times.

In my opinion, I not convinced it matters "why", but how many moves makes a huge difference.

[Tudu]

Originally Posted by Lorraine123

In my opinion, I not convinced it matters "why", but how many moves makes a huge difference.

I couldn't agree more.

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by Lorraine123

In my opinion, I not convinced it matters "why", but how many moves makes a huge difference.

The how many moves matters very much to each individual child--we have to be aware the child can be at risk for RAD.

The why-it is important to know this to figure out how to fix our system--this information matters to all the children taken into care, the relatives, and especially the foster parents who bear the brunt of the negative behaviors of the children traumatized by the moves.

[Lorraine123]

Very true RobinKay.

[kxl164]

Our older child moved more before coming into care than after. He moved 8 times before coming into care (at 20 months), then moved twice while in care- first to a home where the foster parents got overwhelmed and then to us (at 24 months). On paper, it looks like he only moved from birthfamily to foster home 1 to us, not too bad. In reality, which we learned piece by piece over 18 months, he has moved 9 times before coming home to us, home #10.

Our younger child moved only 3 times, from birthfamily, to foster home 1, to us. So in his case the paper report is true.

Our younger child has some minor attachment issues due to the severe abuse/neglect, but mostly deals with PTSD and is doing well, developmentally on track.

Our older child has significant attachment issues, significant PTSD (although coping with this amazingly well now) and developmental delays. He was not abused as badly as his brother, he was not neglected as severely either; he was moved over and over though. It made a huge difference.

This is just to illustrate that moves happen while in care, and sometimes before they come into care. Every move leaves its mark, not just the ones happening during foster care placements.

[RobinKay]

Very good points. It underscores for me the importance of meticulous records and clear communication.

[lovemy6]

Both times we had a child moved from our home was bc they were endangering the children already in our home.

We've had two dozen kids. Most came from previous homes. Reasons they were moved:

Fm was pregnant and the fc had rages where he punched, kicked, and bit.

The fc didn't get along with the bio kids (same ages).

The fc had RAD and fp's couldn't deal with the behaviors (rages, hurting animals, lying, stealing).

The fc threatened to kill the fm.

The ff was transfered to a new county.

The fd got sick and fm couldn't take care of him and the kids.

The fp's were chosen for a straight adoption and would have gone over their limit.

The fp's got tired of dealing with unsupportive, lying, falsifying sw's and turned in their license.

[Perfect7]

It's a shame that our best resource for these children (the fp) are treated so poorly by the system. It breaks my heart to see these kiddos moved around so much (and especially when I read about trash bags being used to move them), but there are certainly some good reasons listed for moving them. It's also good to know that the kids aren't always responsible for the moves, even though they are dearly affected.

[RobinKay]

Originally Posted by Perfect7

It's a shame that our best resource for these children (the fp) are treated so poorly by the system. It breaks my heart to see these kiddos moved around so much (and especially when I read about trash bags being used to move them), but there are certainly some good reasons listed for moving them. It's also good to know that the kids aren't always responsible for the moves, even though they are dearly affected.

It just amazes me how good people can be. There are these wonderful, giving people out there whose passion is helping children. Their hearts are broken over and over, they help children with horrendous behaviors, and the very people who should be helping them--the sw, case workers, GALs--often lie to them or treat them as babysitters, not worthy of being told the truth or asked for their input.

November is foster child/foster family month. I hope every poster on this site is recognized in their community.