[MlynnBrrtt]

Does anyone know if age will dis-qualify a person from fostering? I know technically anyone over the age of 21 "can" foster...but do so SW's have a biased agianst younger people choosing to foster in your experience? Do they assume we are too inexperienced to be an effective inflence in a child's life?

My story is that I am 23..and have been called to foster care for quite a long time. I have no desire to be a bio parent or experience pregnancy or adoption at this time in my life. The lack of desire to expeirence pregnancy or child birth is just a personal choice and I admit it could have something to do with my "age". Many young women feel this way and then change thier minds later. The idea that I have some ethicle concern with some aspects of the adoption industry (I do not feel comfterable altering birth cert's personally..not to say adoption for all is "wrong") is what worries me. I would enjoy being a perminant parent figure in a child's life...through perminant guardianship...but the sealing of records and the pain that this causes adoptee's makes it something that I ( at this point) couldn't pursue. I believe they have a right to origional BC's and I can't deny them that right. I fear I will be denied the oppertunity to foster if I am not in agreement with every aspect of the foster/adopt industry/agency.

I just moved out of my parents at 22, have only held my job for 1 year, and am currently renting the downstairs apartment of a duplex...with a fenced in yard in a neighborhood that is experiening genterfication right now(ie. it is a traditionally "poor" neighborhood that is being bought into by the "wealthy"). It is a great neighborhood that is relativley safe as far as ANY urban neighborhood goes.

I realize that being new to managing my own household, being less "stable" in my employment then many older people, and renting (as opposed to how ownership) would probibally put most SW's off at this point...which is why I have decided to wait a few years (25) to foster. I want to be more secure and mature so I can pass a home study.

Another concern I have is my lack of religious influence. I know most kids who come into care are of some spiritual backround and I would do my best out of respect for the parents and children to honor that but I wonder if that would be a cause for concern? Can a parent have a child moved to a new home based on religion?

My question is...what do SW's look for in younger FP's to show they "have what it takes" to do the job? How can I best prepare for a future homestudy?

[Momoflele&bernie]

I have been fostering since i was 18 years old. My adoption will be finalized on May 20th to my very first placements which i got at 18 years old. Im now 21 years old. I never once felt any discrimination because i always made sure that the county looked past my age and it never became a promblem. As long as your mature and responsible you should be a great foster parent.

[missymissus]

We started out with a private agency that did actually have a problem with me being only 21. They didn't say they couldn't approve my husband and I, but they weren't very thrilled with us.

We switched to going through the state and there never was any problem. I haven't felt discriminated against since we switched to a different program.

[Mkuhlmann06]

I don't think your age alone will be a factor at all. Renting vs owning a home, isn't an issue in of itself either, as long as you can pass the safety inspection. As for your length of employment, as long as you can show proof you have income and it covers your basic bills (i.e. you aren't getting into fostering to have the foster stipend cover your normal monthly bills), that too shouldn't be an issue. They will want to know about your support network. Age 23, 33, or 53, they usually look to see if you have a support network in place (friends, family, neighbors, etc). As for religion, as part of my homestudy process, they asked about things I would and wouldn't accept for placements. My DH and I are non practicing, but stated we would be willing to take placements that had different religious beliefs than us. If I accept a placement, I was obligated to get them to a place of worship in order to practice - if they were practicing.

Im not sure I follow your adoption/change of birth certificate portion of your post. My now AS does have a new birthcertificate, with his new last name and my DH and I listed as the parents. BUT we also have a copy of his original birthcertificate. He is the one that decided to change his name (he was 11 at placement and 11 at finalization). Additionally, his parents' rights were terminated, and as a result of finalizing his adoption, we are now his parents, so a new BC had to be issued. I have a copy of all his records, so Im not sure what you are referring to in terms of sealing of the records. Also, although it is not this way in my case, many people have open adoptions or adoption agreements with bios. So nothing is hidden or sealed.

I think you need to attend the foster/adoption training before you make assumptions about adoption. Also, there is always a need for straight foster homes, emergency homes, respite homes etc. Permenant guardianship is just one option in terms of permenancy for foster children. There is also adoptiong, independent living, etc. Permanent guardianship is normally only used with much older children that do not want to be adopted or there is another specific reason. The system would like to get the kids out of it and adoption does this.

Good luck in your journey...it will be rewarding.

[MlynnBrrtt]

"Im not sure I follow your adoption/change of birth certificate portion of your post. My now AS does have a new birthcertificate, with his new last name and my DH and I listed as the parents. BUT we also have a copy of his original birthcertificate. He is the one that decided to change his name (he was 11 at placement and 11 at finalization). Additionally, his parents' rights were terminated, and as a result of finalizing his adoption, we are now his parents, so a new BC had to be issued. I have a copy of all his records, so Im not sure what you are referring to in terms of sealing of the records. Also, although it is not this way in my case, many people have open adoptions or adoption agreements with bios. So nothing is hidden or sealed."

Hmm.. that is a perspective I haven't considered. My experienced with "sealed" birth certificates have mostly come from talking with adoptee's who were adopted in domestic infant adoption and feel that sealed birth cert's violated thier rights to ownership of genetic history amoungst other things. I don't like the idea of changing a birth documen..or altering another persons identity with out their consent. I have spent alot of time listening to how adoptee's feel...as I was called to adoption...and after hearing the perspective of many adult adoptee's who came to find adoption to be un-ethical in some regreards (sealed birth cert's were usually their main concern) I came to the conclusion that I would like to become a parent figure free from adoption if adoptee's who have experienced adoption believe it is in a child's best intrests? Who am I a non adoptee who doesn't know that its like to be adopted...to disagree? But I never considered that foster care would be diffrent. It makes sence that foster children's BC's have to be changed...if thier parents are TPR'd and will be changed regardless of my actions. My question though is what about FC who age out of the system, whose parents have been TPR'd, do they retain thier origional BC's? How does that work. I strongly feel that ownership of origional BC's and the ability to retain ownership of those records is a right for all persons adopted or not. I am trying to research as much as possible because I don't want my actions or ignorance to case more pain to a FC then they already have. I am not trying to bash adoption by any means.

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by MlynnBrrtt

I believe they have a right to origional BC's and I can't deny them that right.

I know when we took in our niece (also a foster child) we were given her original birth certificate to enroll her in school, etc....so you should have a copy of the original BC before the adoption if you decide to adopt a child that comes into your home. So, even if they seal the records you will have some type of documentation with birth parents info, including a sheet of medical and social records (well at least we do). I believe that is true for all foster kids you will adopt.

[Sam-N-Tony]

I understand some of your concerns but if you feel like your can handle a foster child, I say go for it. A person can be a very mature 23 yr old and as long as you portray you are committed and mature enough to handle a child you should have no problems.

Regardless of a sealed or unsealed adoption, when a child is placed in your home, you get all the parents information, so it not like you never had any information of the bios like a private domestic/international adoption.

As far as religion is concerned, I don't think it's a issue. I am a non-practicing Catholic (if there is such thing), I don't necessarily agree with everything in the Catholic religion but I believe what I believe and am not going to try to push my personal views on anyone. I am open to bring a child into my home of any religion and if the family requests that the child attend church services, I will definately comply. I can just as easily walk into a Christian/Baptist/Catholic/anything church and not have any problems with it, I would probably enjoy it.

I would suggest going to the foster classes and see if its really for you. There are many different ways to be influential in the lives of foster children, not only fostering, but mentoring and volunteering. If you feel like this is for you, go for it, we need as many foster parents as we can get.

[MommyAlysia]

i think you could do it NOW if you have the want to. honestly if you are interested in foster only especially i doubt anyone would turn you down i think there is such a high need for people who are willing to foster only. when dh and i were 21 and 20 a representative from a foster care agency came to our church to talk with those interested in foster parenting. I was too young at 20 but they pushed me to start the classes right away so by the time i turned 21 we could be fully licensed and ready to take in children. we didn't it pursue it then because i was pg with our oldest and we didn't have an ideal living situation. we still don't really, i want a bigger place before we start to foster. i guess if you were going the fost/adopt route people might be more apt to discriminate but even then its not legal to so as long as you stood your ground i don't think it would deter you from getting children.
and, for what its worth, i am 24 with 3 bio children so i don't think you are too young

[MizzEyeV]

Originally Posted by MommyAlysia

I was too young at 20 but they pushed me to start the classes right away so by the time i turned 21 we could be fully licensed and ready to take in children.

I am 20 now and have been wondering would I be allowed to start my classes now so that upon turning 21 I would be fully licensed. I was worried that I would simply be denied right to even take the classes. This gives me hope!

[akcskye]

Actually, in adoptive placements, not all the time will you have an OBC...and at least in my state, you're not allowed to have one if you're in an adoptive placement.

I "accidentally" was given my kid's by my adoption attorney...she didn't know it was something you couldn't do.

But, to the OP...the one thing you haven't realized is that when you're talking foster children...they remember a lot more about their biological family than you realize...so the best thing is to DOCUMENT everything you're ever told about their first family so as they get older and begin forgetting things, you have it there should they want to see it in the future.

So, you're in a lot better shape, so to speak, with a foster child who is old enough to have memories than adopting a newborn with no memorable links to their first family...in which, an OBC would be SO much more important (but I'm not saying they're not important to older children, too).

[Mom2blessings]

Originally Posted by MlynnBrrtt

Does anyone know if age will dis-qualify a person from fostering? I know technically anyone over the age of 21 "can" foster...but do so SW's have a biased agianst younger people choosing to foster in your experience? Do they assume we are too inexperienced to be an effective inflence in a child's life?

My story is that I am 23..and have been called to foster care for quite a long time. I have no desire to be a bio parent or experience pregnancy or adoption at this time in my life. The lack of desire to expeirence pregnancy or child birth is just a personal choice and I admit it could have something to do with my "age". Many young women feel this way and then change thier minds later. The idea that I have some ethicle concern with some aspects of the adoption industry (I do not feel comfterable altering birth cert's personally..not to say adoption for all is "wrong") is what worries me. I would enjoy being a perminant parent figure in a child's life...through perminant guardianship...but the sealing of records and the pain that this causes adoptee's makes it something that I ( at this point) couldn't pursue. I believe they have a right to origional BC's and I can't deny them that right. I fear I will be denied the oppertunity to foster if I am not in agreement with every aspect of the foster/adopt industry/agency.

I just moved out of my parents at 22, have only held my job for 1 year, and am currently renting the downstairs apartment of a duplex...with a fenced in yard in a neighborhood that is experiening genterfication right now(ie. it is a traditionally "poor" neighborhood that is being bought into by the "wealthy"). It is a great neighborhood that is relativley safe as far as ANY urban neighborhood goes.

I realize that being new to managing my own household, being less "stable" in my employment then many older people, and renting (as opposed to how ownership) would probibally put most SW's off at this point...which is why I have decided to wait a few years (25) to foster. I want to be more secure and mature so I can pass a home study.

Another concern I have is my lack of religious influence. I know most kids who come into care are of some spiritual backround and I would do my best out of respect for the parents and children to honor that but I wonder if that would be a cause for concern? Can a parent have a child moved to a new home based on religion?

My question is...what do SW's look for in younger FP's to show they "have what it takes" to do the job? How can I best prepare for a future homestudy?

I have had some of the same concerns about children not having access to their original information. But most of the time it's not quite the same as a private adoption. Our kids have a "Life History" and it includes more information in writing than my birth children have. I also have a copy of my son's original birth certificate. I know his parents names and everything. I'm also considering letting the kids see their birth mom in the future after the adoption is final. In the very least, I want to have some sort of correspondence with her. If I do that, they will never have to "search" for her. Lots of kids desperately want to be adopted. They want to have a permenant home and not be a ward of the state. Often (but not always) the best thing one could do for a child is adopt them. Each child is different.

The birth parents in Georgia can request that their kids be placed in foster home with their same religious beliefs but there's no guarantee. We were told that we have a right to maintain OUR beliefs in our home. So if a child comes to our home for a long term placement, they are expected to go to church, pray as a family, and are generally expected to respect God, Jesus, and Christian values. If they refused (and they were there for a long term placement) I would just explain that our religion is who we are, and while we recognize their right to not "be" who we are, we'd have to ask that they be moved to someone that more closely follows their beliefs. So far all of the kids that have come to our home have greatly enjoyed being here....none have wanted to leave, even though our way of living out our beliefs was new to several of them. They readily joined in. Of course these was temporary/respite care kids, and we never require that they participate...they just did so naturally. I'm not sure how a long term teen would have responded.

I wish you luck.

[Boulderbabe]

There's adoption, and there's adoption. Domestic infant adoption and foster/adopt are pretty different, IMHO.

My son came to me at age 21 days, and was adopted by me when he was 2. He does have a new birth certificate, and I changed his last name to mine. But I have copies of his OBC, and we're still in touch with his birthfamily. So it's not like a closed adoption from the old days. There just aren't any secrets.

I wouldn't get hung up on this. If you foster and you want to be a permanent parent, you'll eventually have to adopt---the state won't let the kid stay in foster care forever. But you can decide how you want to handle it. You aren't required to change the child's name, and you can certainly keep a copy of the OBC.

[mommy2fiveplus]

In Michigan you only have to be 18 to foster or adopt.
I was 20 when I applied and just turned 21 when we finally got all the paperwork done and approved. I have had zero problems and we have been fostering for 6 years. CW don't seem to have issues placing kids with us, we have 3 bios, 2 adopted from care and and numerous fosters. The case workers have mentioned to us in the past that they appreciate that we know our limits (no kids over 12 because our kids are too young and we feel as if they would not see me as a parent figure, no fire-starters) that I have TONS of experience as a foster sibling and my boyfriend (SigOther of 8 years) has experience as a foster child.

It is not totally about your numerical age, it is more about your maturity. At 20 I had a plan for the future (I was in Nursing school), we were financially OKAY (lived frugally but paid all our bills, our realtionship was strong, we had experience in the "field" and we were motivated.

They saw those traits as positives that made up for any deficit percieved by our ages.

Good Luck, but really educate yourself from all the players with a diverse background before you come to any solid conclusions.

[MilehighDad]

By the way, original birth certificates are public records and any child has a right to a copy of theirs. We found that social services will not always provide one, and may even say that an adoptive placement can't have it, but you as a pre-adoptive parent can order one from the county where your child was born. The birthparent names and county of birth have always been provided to us and we just ordered one so we had a clean, clear copy for each of our kids. In fact, one of our kids was born in the Phillipines and we ordered her birth certificate from there after we had sorted out who was actually on it! That required TPR to be repeated since her grandparents were actually on her birth certificate! That is not that unusual in a third world country with a very young mom, and we have even spoken with the grandparents at this time so we have her story straight.

[hkolln]

Originally Posted by MilehighDad

We found that social services will not always provide one, and may even say that an adoptive placement can't have it, but you as a pre-adoptive parent can order one from the county where your child was born.

I know for a fact this was not true in our case. We couldn't order her BC until after the adoption was final and our attorney sent to have it amended. Once our names were on it as her parents then were we allowed to request a certified copy. We tried ordering one prior to the adoption however Idaho rejected it stating that we were not her legal parents.