[winc_mama]

Hello,

Our family's been approached with a sort of unique situation and I'm hoping there's someone out there who's been through something similar or can offer a little bit of input! I'll try my best to keep it somewhat condensed...

Last year we were blessed with the birth of our son- domestic adoption through private agency. We enjoy a semi-open relationship with his birthparents, keeping in touch through regular letters & photos, and 1-2 visits per year. His birthparents (M & L) also have another child, a little girl (N) who's a year older than our son that is currently in foster care in another state (has been in foster care for over 15 months with weekly visits with BPs). Reunification was originally the goal, but it appears that TPR/adoption is a strong possibility now and we have been approached by both M & L and N's SW about making an adoption plan for N. We've only met N once and while we're sad for M & L's situation (long long story), we're definitely excited about the possibility of N joining our family!

Should TPR happen, what happens next? We've never adopted through foster care before, and no one at DSS seems sure of how to proceed; whether we would have to get ICPC to transfer N's case since we live in a different state, or if we could somehow update the homestudy we have on file with the private agency we worked through for DS's adoption. Has anyone ever adopted through foster care from another state? How long does the process from TPR to adoption last?

Also, my biggest concern is transition: N's been with the same foster family since she was an infant. I'm assuming at this point that there's will be a great deal of pre-placement visits as we all get to know each other before we bring her home, but typically how long does this period last? Naturally we would want to bring N home as soon as possible, but we don't want to rush things for her and want her to be comfortable with us.

I'm not sure if half of this makes any sense, lol, so many thanks if you got through this! This is all new, and I'm just trying to get a feel for what to expect in a foster-adopt situation.

TIA

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

I think is is great that you have the possibility to adopt N. So many times, biosibling's families are not tracked down and given the option of adopting siblings.....especially when one was done privately and the other is through the state.

I have never adopted one of my foster children so I have no advice, but wanted to say that your post made perfect sense to me so I am sure it will to those who have lived it.

Good luck and keep us updated on what happens with your growing family!

Kim

[LibbyHawkins]

You might also want to post in the special needs forum, seems like I see more state to state situations there.

Good luck and I hope they do do a transition of some sort, otherwise the kids are so confused.

[Withay]

I would imagine that you would have to become certified as foster parents. I say this because for at least the first 6 months that N would be in your home she would be considered a foster child since she is a ward of the state at this time.

Your home study would have to be updated if it is more than a year old. ICPC would probably have to take place, for the states to decide which state is responsible for what expenses.

All of this can take a relatively short time (6 - 8 months) or a longer one (12+ months).

One thing that I believe should be considered is if N's current foster parents are interested in adopting her if she becomes available. I say this because if she has been in their home for most of her young life and they want to adopt her, while it is many times preferrable to keep siblings together, it could be very traumatic for her to be moved. If they are interested I would recommend having a heart-to-heart talk with them if possible.

Good luck on whatever happens.

[winc_mama]

Originally Posted by xxsurroundedbyxy

I think is is great that you have the possibility to adopt N. So many times, biosibling's families are not tracked down and given the option of adopting siblings.....especially when one was done privately and the other is through the state.

I have never adopted one of my foster children so I have no advice, but wanted to say that your post made perfect sense to me so I am sure it will to those who have lived it.

Good luck and keep us updated on what happens with your growing family!

Kim

LOL, it's sort of funny actually; one year ago we met our DS's birthparents for the first time - on Valentine's Day! Now we find out this week that we may have another little one.... it's pretty surreal.

Thank you for the good wishes! All I know for sure right now is that there is a court hearing next Tues. and that N's caseworker will be recommending TPR/adoption in her report. So we shall see what happens...

[winc_mama]

Originally Posted by LibbyHawkins

You might also want to post in the special needs forum, seems like I see more state to state situations there.

Good luck and I hope they do do a transition of some sort, otherwise the kids are so confused.

Thank you, I'll check the other forum out too!

[winc_mama]

Originally Posted by Withay

I would imagine that you would have to become certified as foster parents. I say this because for at least the first 6 months that N would be in your home she would be considered a foster child since she is a ward of the state at this time.

Your home study would have to be updated if it is more than a year old. ICPC would probably have to take place, for the states to decide which state is responsible for what expenses.

All of this can take a relatively short time (6 - 8 months) or a longer one (12+ months).

One thing that I believe should be considered is if N's current foster parents are interested in adopting her if she becomes available. I say this because if she has been in their home for most of her young life and they want to adopt her, while it is many times preferrable to keep siblings together, it could be very traumatic for her to be moved. If they are interested I would recommend having a heart-to-heart talk with them if possible.

Good luck on whatever happens.

Thank you for the input! The very first thing I asked the SW was if N's foster family wanted to adopt her, as I agree with you 100% that she would be best left in the care of the family who had raised her most of her life if that was feasible. We've been told that N's foster family do not wish to adopt her (not just her specifically, they just wish to remain foster parents only).

I know our homestudy is over a year old (DS has been home with us almost a year) so I expect a new one is needed. So typically in homestudies done through the state, it's the state that covers the expenses?

During the time it takes to complete the homestudy, is it possible for us to still be able to have contact/visits with N? Would we be able to bring her home before it was completed? Her caseworker said something about recommending "liberal and unsupervised visits" (her words) with our family, specifically since N's biological brother lives with us.

[Withay]

The very first thing I asked the SW was if N's foster family wanted to adopt her, as I agree with you 100% that she would be best left in the care of the family who had raised her most of her life if that was feasible.

Thank you for thinking of this little ones feelings.

So typically in homestudies done through the state, it's the state that covers the expenses?

Generally, from what I understand this is true.

During the time it takes to complete the homestudy, is it possible for us to still be able to have contact/visits with N?

This would be up to the local DHS office and the cw, I believe.

Would we be able to bring her home before it was completed?

If you are licensed foster parents that could be a possibility. If not, I don't believe she would be able to until you were named the adoptive family.

Her caseworker said something about recommending "liberal and unsupervised visits" (her words) with our family, specifically since N's biological brother lives with us.

This sounds exactly like what happened with a former foster child of mine. The other family had 2 siblings and were able to have "sibling" visits. After they were named the adoptive family they were able to have my fc for overnight "sibling" visits.


Good luck with everything.

[hkolln]

You'll have to have a foster care home study done to become foster parents in your state. That means taking any classes you'll need to become licensed, etc..because like the previous poster said, the child will have to live with you for a minimum of 6 months before the adoption can go forward. Our ICPC took about 9 months to complete so it can take quite awhile to finish...my advice would be to get with the SW in the sending state and see what they want you to do (if you want to move forward with this). They can start the ICPC process and request a home study be done on you. The state will do it all and handle it all. In our niece's case there was a transition period and we went to Idaho to do the transition and then flew home with her afterwards. Our transition was only 2 weeks. I'm thinking your's will be longer....but that depends upon the distance between you and the child, etc....

In our case we were not allowed to move our niece to our custody in another state until the sending state received our foster care license via the ICPC. Sometimes they won't allow movement until after TPR has happened also...I guess it depends. In our case we got approval to move our niece here before TPR was finalized. I think they don't want to move the child, find out TPR isn't going to happen, and then have to move the child back. Afterall each move is traumatic for the kids.

Best bet is to contact the agency and SW overseeing the child and go from there. Then you can contact your local agency and get the ball rolling for being licensed.