[Hadley2]

FD would celebrate the third anniversary of her second removal in February. First father was TPR'd last spring. First mother's last appeal was heard and denied earlier this fall. Needless to say, nothing in this case has happened quickly.

So imagine my surprise when fd's cw e-mails me yesterday to say she just popped the adoption placement agreement, assistance application, and assistance agreement in the mail on the 6th, would I please sign and return the originals right away as she plans to present the adoption to "the board" for approval on the 13th...giving me, what? One day to figure out if I can live with what they're offering for the next 10 years?

Mind you, we are not so concerned with subsidy as we are, given FD's high risk factors, with being sure the state will pick up medical and mental healthcare and SPED services not covered by our school district or state Medicaid--such as RTC or ED schooling.

Does this seem as much of a rash rush to others as it does to me? Can anyone enlighten me as to this part of the process? My thinking is that when I receive the papers, that is the time to call the lawyer, yes? How much time and room is there, really, for negotiation of these things? And do A-lawyers typically do the whole thing--negotiations, filing fees, etc.--for the one-time allowance for legal fees associated with the adoption?

[bubblest]

Congratulations on getting closer to finalizing, Hadley! My adoption SW recommended making a list of expenses, current and future, and submitting it with my application for adoption support. I included things like daycare, speech therapy and gymnastics that we use currently and future needs such as sports, girl scouts, possible physical therapy, etc along with explanation (for example, daycare: single parent working full-time, gymnastics: to help with low muscle tone).

This helped me get an exact idea of what I needed. When the adoption support person called to work out the amount he had all of that information in front of him so I didn't even have to do any negotiating. What he offered was more than I had expected.

My adoption attorney was not involved in any of this. All he did was show up at the finalization and order the new birth certificate.

Good luck! It will be nice when this is all behind you.

[Dmommab]

I believe their "reasoning" behind getting it to you so late & asking you to return it quickly is because they are trying to get you to agree to as little as possible. Sometimes it's negotiable & sometimes it's not. With our first adoption they offered us $250 a month subsidy - we asked for more (he tested positive for marijuana & cocaine at birth). Her exact words to me were "We're not giving you any more - take it or leave it. He's a beautiful baby boy & I could get someone to take him with NO subsidy in a minute. Take it or leave it! What are you gonna do???? We took it! GOOD LUCK!

[chickieboom]

Take as much time as you need. this is what the licensing person told us in MAPP training. She warned us that if we went for adoption that we might be rushed. Take as much time as you need.

[Hadley2]

Thanks, that was my instinct.

[MomwithFive]

<< With our first adoption they offered us $250 a month subsidy - we asked for more (he tested positive for marijuana & cocaine at birth). Her exact words to me were "We're not giving you any more - take it or leave it. He's a beautiful baby boy & I could get someone to take him with NO subsidy in a minute. Take it or leave it!>>

Ugh, I think that's an awful way to say that to your family.

[vernellinnj]

Bum's rush!

[DoYaReallyThink]

Is this the way they normally do things like this? I mean with trying to get you to take the least amount playing on your emotions?

Fran

[kxl164]

I would sit down now and list all of the serives you may need for her in the future. List the service and why is it necessary.

Make sure in you include things like Attachment to Adoptive Family and Medical needs resulting from unknown prenatal history, or drug affected prenatal history.... these two things cover a lot of gray area and when they are listed as a service on the Adoption Agreement you will be getting reimbursed if you need to submit bills for this, just know you will have to prove it, but that is not usually hard a letter from a Dr., Teacher, or Mental Health professional is usually enough.

Good Luck! We are making up our own Adoption Subsidy Agreement now for when they do this exact thing to us!!

Also, remember you can change you Adoption Subsidy
Agreement later on, it takes more work but it can be done.