[akcskye]

In a foster/adoptive situation with rights terminated...do you ever wonder what would happen if the birth family ever found you or accidentally ran into you somewhere with your children?

I have always wondered what would happen if my kids birth mom, who made VERY poor choices, were to ever come around, which is next to improbable being she's in another state and it's a totally closed adoption.

But, if I was standing there, face to face with her, kids present...would they run up to her and hug her and feel like it was a reunion? Would they run and hide and ask me to take them away? Would they just treat her as any other social contact?

Five years from now, I would suspect the middle or latter scenario...but it always makes you wonder, even though the kids seem GREATLY bonded with us, what would happen if that one wrench was thrown in?

Please tell me I'm not the only one that thinks of this "what if". I don't obsess over it, but I always wonder.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

Our kids are younger...but we do have an open adoption with our older son's family. I think THEY want the run up, call me mom, remember that I am the one who gave birth to you and be grateful for that...reunion. Doesn't happen. As a matter of fact, they were lucky to get a friendly "hi" last time since the time before he stood in teh corner for half an hour adn would not come to any of them.

I think it is normal to have those fears. I worry that when they get older they will want to find them and leave us behind. Again, I think that is a normal fear too.

[TxMom65]

My daughter was removed from her bfamily at age 3. She had visits until she was 7 and knows who they are. They live fairly close and yes, I do wonder. I'm not sure she would recognize her bmom but would her grandfather. She would probably hug him because he is one she did care for the most. He did take care of them a lot and she remembers that.

We have been advised to keep the adoption closed from all bfamily. This is from everyone who knows them. I wonder how I would handle seeing them in public. I know the grandfather wants visits and really just pray it never happens.

[timleenettesue]

My son was adopted in February. We argeed to keep an open relationship with his bgrandma because she has his bsis. Shortly after the adoption was finalized the bgrandma brought bmom to a visit. She said she did not know she would be there, but did nothing to have her leave. We left with our son and NO visit because of this. Bgrandma has never tried to contact us since (his bsis did call shortly after that on his birthday, but not bgrandma). That was in March. Last week we were at the same store as bgrandma and she never said a word. He is only 2 so it would be more of an adult thing at this point, but she didn't seem to care.

Also, I am adopted, and have found my bmom. It does not matter who she is or what she has done because my true parents are the ones that adopted me. It is nice knowing who she is, but I would not trade the parents that loved and raised me for blood relatives.

[tddjc]

I do wonder about this. My kid came from THIS county! So mom probably works at one of the local clubs. I wonder all the time if she would recognize her. She has grown up a lot in two years but she looks so much like me and my other kids that mom might not be sure. I know that I would recognize mom, she has a very distinctive look. I don't think it would be a peaceful reunion.

[MomOfFourWantingMore]

We have a very open adoption. My son sees his birthmom and other siblings all the time. He is five as of yesterday. We have always been very open about who he came from. But in my case his birth mom is my sister.
But in the beginning I felt very threatned by her even had times where i wish she'd just move away or we could. I was tired of blaine be our adopted son when I wanted him to just be "OUR" son. So it was really hard to get to the point where it didn't bother me anymore. I no longer feel threatned by her presence around him cause he knows who mommy is. It hasn't been an easy road but I know am close to my sister again. At first I couldn't understand how she could give up her own child..even though I was happy he was going to be my son..it was hard. But I have come to realize that she had her reasons and it wasn't for me to judge. Theres more to this whole story and I don't want to take away from the original topic here..just want to say..that in time you will feel more comfortable and no longer wonder about the what ifs.