[Jilliehuck]

I hope that this is the right place to post this...I guess I am looking for support more than anything. I got my two foster babies in 2/07 (2mths and 22mths). The baby was born crack addicted and was taken away at birth and given to an aunt that had the 22 mth old (on paper only according to the mom). I have had these babies for 5 mths and now they are moving them with their mother in rehab. She has been in rehab for 2 months after going to jail for 1 mth. I would have to agree that she is doing good, but she has not proven herself on the "outside" yet. I am very worried, I just hope DFCS will stay involved and make sure they do not go back into a drug infested situation.

I am feeling helpless and USED. Anybody else had this...?

When I talked with my sw today she suggested that I move to foster to adopt. I really want to adopt a female under 5. I am under that impression that foster to adopt is for children who were not adopted by their foster parents. That leads me to ask the question why not? I am not trying to sound mean really, but I want to be sure.
Any helpful advise is APPRECIATED.
Jill

[hesabanana]

Foster to adopt in my area is not just adopting children who are not being adopted by their foster parents. Here, you agree to take children who are a legal risk for being freed for adoption, meaning there is a high likelihood the bparents will be TPR'd. They like to place these kids in homes that will likely adopt them to reduce the number of moves for them. If you want to adopt through foster care, this is a good way to go. Good luck!

[DianeS]

Some foster parents really only want to foster. That's their mission, their drive.

They may not "want" a permanent child, they may think they are too old to parent for the next 15 (or howevermany) years, they may feel led by God to foster only, they may feel that if they adopted a child then that is one less space for a child in need. A multitude of reasons.

Of course you would want to speak with the former foster family to ask why the child is being moved, and you wouldn't want to take the caseworker's word for it. But people who just want to foster and not adopt (no matter how wonderful the child) do exist.

[JC10]

We were blessed and I believe you will be to. For every child there is a mother. True, not all children find that special family before becoming an adult but I believe it's in the plan. We started our journey as foster parents with the desire to adopt. After a brief placement with a brother and sister who seemed to fit perfect but too were removed and placed with their bios, we were almost immediately placed with our two sons and precious daughter. The boys were ages 2 & 4 and our daughter only 10 mo. at placement. All three were awaiting TPR and were expected to be adoptable. We've since adopted all three along with an older sibling that we were told some time later about. In CA you can tell your agency or SW that you are only interested in expected long term/adoptive placements. never any guarantees of course but this helps prevent the loss you are feeling. My heart goes out to you. I'm sure the county (and the rehab) will be very careful to monitor the children. I pray you can move on and know that your daughter (or son) is out there.

Best wishes!

[Jilliehuck]

Thank you for all of your support and encouragement. I know that I will feel better with time and hopefully God will lead me to the place that I need to be.