[vernellinnj]

Any interest in starting a support thread for those of us waiting to adopt our foster children? Doesn't matter if they are newly placed, already TPRd etc. Post on this thread until the adoption is FINALIZED. Perhaps this will help all of our sanity.

I'll start..

I've had my FC for 13 months. Next Compliance review is at the end of summer.

The thought of him leaving breaks my heart so I try to stay in the present.

[la vida loca]

I've had my seven-year-old FD since November 2006. The TPR trial is scheduled (after being rescheduled from May) for the first week in July.

Parental visits were considered so toxic that they are on hold until TPR is resolved or the court reconsiders it's decision on visitation. After being black and blue from multiple daily meltdowns (hers, not mine) it's been remarkably stable and calm here without the visits with the parents twice a week.

[msgypsylee]

I got my little guy on May 30. He is foster to adopt. He will be one in July. I love him to death and am truly hopeful for adoption.

Question, his first court date, with me, is next week. As far as I know this is just a routine eval of the parents, he has been in foster care since birth. Should I attend this court date? What are they like? Will I be able to speak?

Thanks

[mommacass]

Great Idea!!!

Don't know if my situation qualifies me to be a part of this one.

We've had T for 3 weeks and I am totally in love with her. She has a court date at the end of Aug. and the cw wants to go for TPR, but don't know if they have enough evidence for this. Then there is family and the ICWA that we have to make it thru.

It is going to be bad if she has to leave I even heard my 9 yr old son call her his sister and we have not said anything to them about her being their sister. The other placements we had he had nothing to do with.

So maybe after Aug. I can be more involved on this thread.

MommaCass

[Becki_in_IN]

Yes, go to every court date. It shows your interest. I have only been asked to speak at one. They asked how our foster daughter (now daughter) was and if we wanted to adopt her.

I'd love to join this thread, but can't really. Hopefully soon. We saw the baby this week, have appts to see him for the next two weeks, and get to take him for a visit to our house after that. I am so thrilled. We had the girls' baby pictures out last night and were trying to see which one he looks more like. Dh says Alicia. I say Britt. Actually he looks more like birthmom than any of the kids. Okay, I'll stop rambling. Can you tell that I like to talk about him?

[MomwithFive]

We've had our foster child for over a year. TPR has been granted. YEAH!! Waiting now to find out the next steps and if there will be an appeal which could hold up adoption.

[vernellinnj]

Welcome everyone!! Glad there is interest. Let's encourage each other along.

As for attending hearings, in my state FPs aren't allowed in the court rm. I send a photo and a letter to the judge prior to each hearing.

Good luck everyone! And let's keep this thread active.

[makarios79]

Hi,

I am waiting to finalize the adoption of my 2 older foster sons. Mom signed surrenders on June 15 and Dad did on June 20.......Waiting for finalization date.....which is expected to be (from what I have been told) another 4-8weeks....That is if they don't decide to also place their older brother with me..Then I would have to wait another 90 days from when he is placed with me until finalization (at least for older brothers adoption finalization anyway)

[sentanangel07]

We had TPR a little over a week ago and waiting to see if there will be an appeal hopefully not and hopefully relatives continue to not come forward as they havent for 6 and a half months his entire life.Our FS was placed with us March 29 2007.

[vernellinnj]

I think this thread will allow people to see how long things ACTUALLY take. It's going to be interesting to see who eventually finalizes, who (unfortunately) loses their children, etc.

When finalizations happen, post Placement month /year, TPR month/year and Finalization month/year or Reunited month/year.

Let's be hear for each other.

[sunsetsky]

Hello,
Great idea! My fs was placed October 2006. He was discharged from the hospital to me. He is almost nine months old. I am a pre-adoptive home but his goal remains RU. I no longer seek out info on the case because the system can't seem to keep their stories straight. It was too emotional to be told so many things about this case. The bottom line is the case is still RU. The what ifs ... are too painful. We still have weekly visits... bios don't always show up. The workers would count these as victories. Bio got pregnant Cw counted this as a victory. She signed me up for baby. Bio handled it differently than cw expected. I feel torn between the bios and cw. I felt like this in highschool. I couldnt deal with it then and I refuse to now at 40ish. I live in the moment and treat him as my own. Its hard because I don't have a support from the system or anyone else. I appreciate the people on this site more than you will ever know.

[Yash]

vernellinnj,

What did you write in your letter? Did you send a candid photo or a studio one?

Thanks. And thanks for starting this thread. Sasha came home at 8-days-old on Dec. 21. She is now 6 1/2 months and the CW wants her to go live with an out-of-state distant relative. Okay to be honest, the CW wants her to go live with anyone who is not me. UGH!

Thank goodness Sasha's lawyer doesn't believe in uprooting children from the only home they've ever known, particularly since we past the six month mark that she's been in my home, to go stay with blood relatives Sasha has never seen or met.

Our next court date to TPR is on Aug 14th. I'm praying we TPR and that the lawyer can convince the judge that Sasha should stay in the home with her mom and her loving and adoring big brother.

[tlmerrie]

Yash- Wow that's tough. Hope she gets to stay too. The lawyer sounds pretty dedicated. We are in a relative adoption but were prepared from the outset that our little one should just be in a good home, period. It's sad to hear about kids getting taken by relatives at the eleventh hour when they are in loving, stable foster homes to parents with whom they have bonded.

Momwithfive- We are in the same place you are. Our little one's sisters are with other relatives and they are not as far along so we still feel a lot of stress for them.

Amy

[vernellinnj]

Hi Yash -

I always send a candid photo. My letter is always one page and riddled with facts..X is now speaking more, knows the alphabet, takes art classes once a week, etc. I always end with "if the courts deems that TPR is appropriate, I want to adopt X.

Good luck with TPR. I'm surprised you got a TPR hearing in 6 months. My understanding is the first step is a TPR hearing where a judge decides if he/she will hold a TPR trial. Once trial is held, the trial decision takes 2-3 months. Is this true where you are from?

I think this thread will be very telling...

[JDub]

I'll jump in. T(8) and his sister S(7) were placed with us on June 8th as foster to adopt. Since we have no other kids, you can imagine that our lives have really changed, especially considering we're in our mid 40's! So far though things have gone pretty well. They are definitely pushing our buttons, but when I look at other kids in the neighborhood or see other families when we are out, I realize that T and S aren't doing anything any worse than other kids (and are actually better than most I see!).

Now comes the fun part TPR was granted for these kids in 2005. However, the BF appealed, which ended up going to the state supreme court. When we first started the process, we were told that he was not appealing the TPR, just how he was notified (he was in prison at the time). The CW told us that the state's lawyers were saying that there was no way he would win, and if he did that it wouldn't affect TPR. Well, guess what? He won! Now the CW can't tell us exactly what this means for the TPR. The state will still be supporting the TPR, but she can't give us any kind of time frame, or any other info for that matter. According to the CW this case will completely change the way that notifications are made in cases where the bio's are in prison. All I know is that it means we are in for a longer ride

Anyway, I appreciate all I have learned from everyone on this site so far, and hopefully we all can provide supprt for each other through the process.