[sunsetsky]

Update...
Placement Foster 10/06
Permenancy Hearing 9/07
TPR Trial 11/07

[vernellinnj]

My fs's mom has made improvement in meeting some case plan goals. Next compliance hearing is later this year at which point my fc will be with me 19 months. State and GAL want TPR - I honestly don't know what the judge will do.

For those who have been here...what "generally" happens when the bios start to make progress so far into the process? Does the judge allow the child to linger in FC while we "wait and see" if the biofamily can maintain stability? Seems terribly unfair to the child...

So I wait and pray for God's will to be done.

[Lamaena]

I can identify with your situation, our fd has been with us for 11 months, her mom has been in jail/prison for at least 9 out of the 11 months and she's going to be released 11/24. It seems that the agency is now trying to move the baby to her aunts, disregarding the fact that her aunt has dragged her feet and shown she is not dedicated to this child or her wellbeing. They went as far as wanting to throw the baby into a weekend visit with the aunt w/out considering that to the baby her aunt is just a stranger (she has not seen her since she was 1 month old, and even then she saw the baby b/c I took her, no thanks to any effort on her part).
I just want the safeguarding of our fd's best interest to be the focus in every individual involved in her case. I support RU if her bmom completes the case plan as it was written w/out cutting any corners, but if she doesn't, I want to make sure that she stays w/ the only family she knows.

[makarios79]

Originally Posted by vernellinnj

For those who have been here...what "generally" happens when the bios start to make progress so far into the process? Does the judge allow the child to linger in FC while we "wait and see" if the biofamily can maintain stability? Seems terribly unfair to the child...

So I wait and pray for God's will to be done.

I know in my city/county the judges are very pro adoption. One judge in particular is known for NOT giving parents many chances when it comes to permanency and stability in the kids lives. He is a REAL advocate for the kids as opposed to their parents.

If the parents are not substantially compliant on their case plan by a certain period of time, I know for a fact that he will TPR. I have been in his courtroom and I watched him TPR one case where a parent was in prison and would not be out anytime soon. He basically said that it was not fair to the child to have to wait on the parents to get their life together and why should he rip the child from the only home they have ever known just to go back to a parent they barely know. It was harsh...The parent was crying and so was I.

In another case he ruled that the kids would be in long term relative care until age 18 and mom was only in the 6th month of working (or should I say not working) her case plan (and was no where near being substantially complaint on her case plan).

Unless there was some kind of extenuating circumstance such as the parent was hospitalized, or something major, 11th hour efforts on the parents part is usually done in vain in my county. But many judges don't always do things the way they do them here.

My youngest son's mom was "substantially compliant" on her case plan up until recently when she violated her probation and she stopped going to some required classes as well. She now has until December to get EVERYTHING done on her case plan or the agency is going to push for TPR and I am pretty positive that if the agncy recommends TPR, the judge (same judge I mentioned above) will TPR on both parents because dad is non complaint on all of his case plan and mom has stopped visits altogether (which is a part of her case plan) since I moved her other 2 kids out of my home and has expressed she wanted to relinquish CT.

In other news...I finally have a finalization date for my other 2 boys....November 16 (YAY!)

Sorry for rambling..Hope I answered your question somewhere in all that rambling...

[Lamaena]

The kids in your county are very lucky makarios, I wish all judges worked towards safeguarding the rights of the children instead of sacrificing the kids to help protect parental rights. I understand that we all make mistakes, but, if a parent, such as my fd's bmom, gives birth to a drug exposed child and is allowed the opportunity to work a case plan and ends up violating probation and being thrown in prison, they should lose parental rights. It is my own humble opinion that the children are not and should not have to suffer the consequences of their parents poor decision-making. In addition to all that, if a child is in the system for a period of over 6 months and no relatives come forward to offer their homes and heart to their defenseless family members, then they should have no right at all to disrupt the child's placement. I am certainly biased in all my wishes considering my situation, but I truly think (from a rational perspective) that the system should move away from protecting parents and concentrate on protecting the defenseless children.

Best of luck to you all and the children in your care!

[makarios79]

Originally Posted by Lamaena

The kids in your county are very lucky makarios, I wish all judges worked towards safeguarding the rights of the children instead of sacrificing the kids to help protect parental rights. I understand that we all make mistakes, but, if a parent, such as my fd's bmom, gives birth to a drug exposed child and is allowed the opportunity to work a case plan and ends up violating probation and being thrown in prison, they should lose parental rights. It is my own humble opinion that the children are not and should not have to suffer the consequences of their parents poor decision-making. In addition to all that, if a child is in the system for a period of over 6 months and no relatives come forward to offer their homes and heart to their defenseless family members, then they should have no right at all to disrupt the child's placement. I am certainly biased in all my wishes considering my situation, but I truly think (from a rational perspective) that the system should move away from protecting parents and concentrate on protecting the defenseless children.

Best of luck to you all and the children in your care!

I couldn't agree with you more, but my opinion is also biased as well! I'm all for parents rights when they are actually learning from their mistakes and making reasonable efforts to get their children back.

I'll be praying for you and your fd!

[tenderlovingtreasure]

Hi folks, can I jump in. We currently dont have the baby in our care but know them very very well since birth. TPR hearing this MONTH. we are all scared sick what will happen. We are hoping to adopt (long story and I will fill everyone in somewhat alot later). I hate this waiting stuff!! We have been waiting 12 years to love a baby!! Took us a while to figure it all out lol.

[Lamaena]

I agree with you regarding parental rights when/if the parents are learning from their mistakes and making and effort to get their children back. My fd's mother may proof to have gotten her act together, and if she does, however painful it may be to us, we will be 100% supporting RU (w/ a heavy heart, but there!).

Originally Posted by makarios79

I couldn't agree with you more, but my opinion is also biased as well! I'm all for parents rights when they are actually learning from their mistakes and making reasonable efforts to get their children back.

I'll be praying for you and your fd!

[vernellinnj]

Yes, the waiting is so hard. I cannot imagine what I would do if the judge elects to reunite with bio-mom. IMO, if bio-mom starts to get it together 16 months after the kids come into care (excuse this statement) TOO BAD. It's unfair to expect the kids to linger for another 6-12 months to see if she can maintain for any period of time. I, too, would wish her all the best for the future but the kids should not be subjected to "wait and see" for months/years!

[Lamaena]

You couldn't have said it better vernellinnj! Why should the kids pay for their parents mistakes?

[lynnpalm]

Hi
We have had our fd since she was 10 days old. It seems like the past 2 years have been a series of hurry ups and then wait for an emotional blow. (Just when you think adoption could happen, re becomes the goal) TPR was originally scheduled for early Sept., and that got changed to the end of Nov. It seems like much of the time has been spent holding my breath with wonder-will this work out or won't it. TPR is scheduled for tomorrow. This road has been a long one. Will tomorrow bring us another curve? Will we be able to move on to adoption?
I don't have any questions, just getting tired of waiting...

[Lamaena]

Best of luck tomorrow. Hope it all works out!

[vernellinnj]

Anyone with news to report? I know Makarios finalized on two of her children. Anyone else want to give an update?

As for me, I patiently (not really) wait and continue to pray.

Merry Christmas!

[shy_bear]

We had our court date to file the motion to terminate. We were initially told the court would hear the TPR hearing in 30 days, but b/c they have to publish for the bp's it was made for 60 days out. So, the TPR hearing is on Feb. 13th!!! We are being assigned an adoption worker this Friday and hope to meet with him/her after the new year. We have no clue as to when the finalization hearing will be, but as long as TPR is done I can be more patient!!!

[vernellinnj]

Congratulations!

The terminology used can be so confusing...

In my state, the judge holds a permanency hearing where he/she approves (or does not approve) a goal change from reunification to adoption.

If new case goal is approved, a TPR trial has to take place within 45 days of permanency hearing.

At trial, state and bio parent's lawyers present the "case" for and against adoption. Judge renders a decision (which I hear can take months).

After decision, bios have 30 days to appeal.

Prior to this process there are repeated "compliance reviews" where bios get to report on how they are doing complying with case goals.

All - is this pretty much the same in your state?