[txwannabemom]

Originally Posted by Shelly77

So, in terms of an update, we received word yesterday from our caseworker that the caseworker for our daughter to be is going on vacation for 10 days and then has court and training when she returns so the earliest day we can have our first meeting is September 9. I can't believe we are ready for everything to happen and pre-placement visits to start and yet we are delayed because of a social worker's unavailability for THREE weeks!

GRRRR

But, at least we are still moving forward.

That is so frustrating! Come on Sept 9!!!! It will be here before you know it.


I also am hapy to announce that R's picture disappeared from TARE today! It's the little joys!

[wohiomom]

FD's caseworker was here this afternoon for her monthly visit. We have had bio dad sign surrenders and bio mom TPR'd in the last few weeks. Her big questions: Do you have a particular attorney that you would like to handle the adoption? and Have you decided on names? After 14 months I will have to say it was the best visit. It will be the last time we'll see her officially since she will transferring the case in the next few weeks to the adoption caseworker. She really has been a wonderful case worker.

We're thrilled. Hopefully the adoption will be done by the end of the year. Our FD will be 3 soon.

[txwannabemom]

Well..R's foster mom was less than willing to talk to me on the phone, she says she does feel any need for discretion because she "knows what she does". That was a little discouraging. She also doesn't feel it would be fair to have nightly phone calls because she doesn't allow relative calls for the other girls in the home.
She is willing to allow email contact and wants me to come soon so I can "see how she acts".

I really want to go see her, and hope the vsits move swiftly so she can come home soon.

[Perfect7]

Txwannabe, that sounds very discouraging and I know how it feels. Our son's fm was less than helpful (moved him in trashbags and let the biomom visit on the day he was coming to live here!) EEK! She was motivated by money and a bit upset to be losing it. ALL foster parents are not this way and I believe most really care about the kiddos, but it sounds like you may have the bitter type who will hold on tight. I'm sure R has behavior issues, but passing that information on to you would be helpful for both of you as you transition.
We were possibly matched with a young man this weekend and we are one of eight being considered. We're praying about it and waiting to hear something. He may need to come here very quickly with us as foster parents first and then as an adoptive placement, something we haven't done before. Hope to post soon with an update!

[akg1229]

I am again looking at photolistings as the last one wasn't quite the match we hoped for... I kinda feel crappy like I'm treating these kids like cars..."oh can't fulfill your needs let's go find a different one" maybe it's just me. Anyway... I found two possibilities here on this website... i gave their info to my social worker and went searching for other children on another website. Well.... on this website I found E who was also on here, he had a video on there so I watched it. Under it, it said for more info contact sch and such agency. So I did because I find if you only get info from one source its not always accurate. Well HE is supposed to call my sw tomorrow and I don't want my sw, who is usually a pretty layed back guy, to feel like I'm going over his head or trying to get around him. I still want him to get info from the other agency we went through. What do you guys think... did I commit a no-no. I am a first timer at this so I don't know if I just p****ed off my sw by accident.

[Perfect7]

AKG, I don't think you did anything wrong at all. You may want to call your sw to give him a "heads up". We had asked our cw about calling the children's cw ourselves, which saved lots of time and paper shuffling. We could usually find out by a quick phone call that it wouldn't be a good match instead of waiting weeks for more paperwork, etc. We found our adopted son and directly called his cw ourselves. After learning more updated info, we knew he was a good match for us.
Have to announce.....WE WERE SELECTED!!! We are hurrying to update our homestudy so that we can begin the process to bring him home!! Hopefully all will be done by the end of this week. I'm trying not to get too excited until it's more official, but it feels really good. I'm expecting again!! All the kiddos are excited, too, that they are going to have a little brother very soon.

[akg1229]

That's awesome news I'll be praying for you and your whole family.

[Robinyyes]

AKG,

Let me say that I know EXACTLY how you feel. The same happened with me. The previous 'match' ended up not being a match for us, and so I started looking again (after a small break- I needed one!) and found through listings another child -out of state that I was very interested in. I contacted the sw directly, got more info and confirmations that I believe is a match, the childs sw approved my homestudy, and the sw is setting up a meeting with my cw for early next week.
My confusion is that my cw has not done an ICPC and has told me that beyond the meeting she won't be able to assist me. So I'll have to ask her supervisor to assign me to a cw who has knowledge about ICPCs and go from there. But I did feel like I might be creating waves and that is not what I want to do.
In the end being upfront and communicating with your cw is the best advice to work from so that no one gets bruised feelings.


Perfect7- Congrats and a big woohoo to you and your family. I'm soo very happy for you.

[Robinyyes]

Originally Posted by Perfect7

AKG, I don't think you did anything wrong at all. You may want to call your sw to give him a "heads up". We had asked our cw about calling the children's cw ourselves, which saved lots of time and paper shuffling. We could usually find out by a quick phone call that it wouldn't be a good match instead of waiting weeks for more paperwork, etc. We found our adopted son and directly called his cw ourselves. After learning more updated info, we knew he was a good match for us.
Have to announce.....WE WERE SELECTED!!! We are hurrying to update our homestudy so that we can begin the process to bring him home!! Hopefully all will be done by the end of this week. I'm trying not to get too excited until it's more official, but it feels really good. I'm expecting again!! All the kiddos are excited, too, that they are going to have a little brother very soon.

Perfect7,
I hope I'm not being intrusive, but I noticed on your signature that 'Mr. Silly' came to live with you and was finalized about 7 mos. later. Here in CA they ask for 6mos Foster and then give the opportunity to start adoption proceedings which they say take about six mos. How did you go about getting your county to fasttrack the adoption is my question if its not too personal, if it is I'm sorry for asking but was very curious.

Thanks,
Robin

[Perfect7]

Robinyes, we did straight adopt versus foster to adopt, if that makes any sense. We've never been licensed as foster parents. When Mr. Silly came to live with us we signed pre-adoptive placement papers and he had to live with us for six months (they can shorten or lenghten it if they want) before we finalized the adoption. In our state a family can be foster parents, foster to adopt parents, or just straight adoption parents.

[txwannabemom]

Today I meet my daughter R !!!!

I'm headed down to south Texas to meet her for dinner and a playdate tonight.

Tomorrow I have her all day and she will overnight with me in a hotel.

Sunday we will do a goodbye visit to the foster home. AND SHE COMES HOME FOREVER!



I don't know if I can express how excited/scared/happy/excited I feel!

[Perfect7]

All right Texas!!!!! I'll bet you are on cloud 9! It's always so exciting during all of the visits and then when the get to come home forever! I especially loved the "shop till you drop" getting all of their new things, ha ha! Keep us posted!
Today everything for our homestudy update is completed...just waiting on my fingerprints to come back (dh was still current). Even though it's now livescan in our area, there have been long delays so I'm hoping we wont be waiting forever. Sigh. (((Sending fast vibes to fingerprints))).

[akg1229]

COngrats tx that is awesome new for you!!!!!!

[akg1229]

FOund out last night dh and I are officially licensed as a therapeutic foster to adopt placement!!!!!

[sweetnessnapolis]

Congrats TX. I am glad to hear that you will have your daughter home soon. I spoke with the CW of a child in our state that DH and I inquired about. She sounds very interested in us. She even wants to talk to our worker and have us meet the child. But then she says that she is also looking at other families and it felt like she was saying not to get our hopes up, but she likes us. Has anyone ever been through this before where you meet the child(ren) and then the worker didn't think it was a match. Doesn't that set people up for a false sense of hope? Or is that just standard? I know nothing is ever definite until you sign the papers, but to have us meet him and still pick another family or is she waiting to talk to our worker first before she makes it official? I am so confused......