[Canadamom92]

We're currently waiting to find out if we've been chosen for an 11 year old boy. I've already talked to his worker several times since December.

Our worker and his worker were fighting with the agency several months ago to let us foster him with a view. It was denied due to us not being approved for foster with a view at that point. When he was finally a Crown Ward the workers started trying to figure out a permanancy plan for him, and our names came up right away. Our worker had to regretfully inform them that we were in the process of getting to know a sib group at that point, and that we were no longer available. When that situation fell through, they were apparently hoping we wouldn't need a break so that we might consider this boy. His worker was just waiting for our worker to give her the go-ahead to let us meet him. Everything was moving right along until our worker suddenly said she had to ask his worker and her supervisor if they approved of us as a family for him. I think it had more to do with our worker starting her holidays the next day...

Now we just have to do some research on attachment disorders. From what they're telling us, he seems to have anxious attachment - very clingy, eager to call adults of the house mom and dad, eager to please, no behavior issues, difficulty sleeping.

Another situation that has been discussed with us is a toddler and a baby - drug exposed, with no current delays. They're not legally free yet and they're a bit young for us. Our kids want the 11 year old - they're not interested in our family going back to the baby stage again.

Now we wait for our worker to come back from holidays at the end of August and see where we are.

[Perfect7]

Canada mom! You are still here waiting? I was wondering what happened to you. We also didn't want to go back to the baby stages and adopted a 10-yr-old little boy.....who was more like an 18 month old. We've been through potty training, bottles, rocking, the works. He's now more 3-4 and growing in leaps and bounds. Ha ha! Glad to see you are still here, and I hope you get to meet your little one soon.

[myForeverkids3]

Canada mom.. the anxious attatchment thing sounds like my DD. It is very hard to have a child cling to you and want constant attention and reassurance, but this type of attatchment does get better once the child feels secure and stable. So sad for a child to feel this way, ya know. Anxious is definately the right word!
Books that others have suggested: "The Connected Child" and "Parenting the Hurt Child" I just started the first one and it has been so helpful. Wish I had read up BEFORE the placement! oh well, no one said we had to be PERFECT parents right?

[Canadamom92]

Perfect7 - Yup, I'm still here waiting. I only have a few months left to go before I get to the six years waiting mark - why give up now?

I wasn't online much for awhile. We had a prospective placement with a sib group of four. We had several visits between June-July, but it wasn't a good fit for any of us. The kids did not want to move so far away, the multiple foster parents were scaring them off of adoption, the youngest just wanted her mama (who also wanted her), and the oldest had been told by his fp that if things didn't work out with us that they'd look into adopting him. A lot of behaviors, too, when they were together.

I'm glad to hear that your new addition is progressing well. How are your other children adjusting? I hope things work out with the child you're interested in currently!

myForeverkids3 - Thanks for the advice I'm planning to order Parenting the Hurt Child in the next few days. I'll take a look at the other book too. No, no one says we have to be perfect, but we can't help but feel we need to be, eh?

[In_limbo_for_now]

Our adpotion worker called and said she had the approval from the state in-hand. They are typing up the paperwork to be signed and submitted to court. We have to get a money order for the filing fee and sign the papers and things will move foreward.

[Shelly77]

[quote=txwannabemom][quote=Shelly77] Honestly I'm frustrated because this little girl was posted on TARE and then went through staffing and then we were selected and then we waited nearly 3 weeks for the file box full of her redacted record.

Because someone didn't get on the ball during all that waiting time already, she will have to switch schools after the start of the school year.

OMG. I am so sorry. That is totally a possiblility for me right now and I am just so scared that it will be that way for us too. How very frustrating. Have you been able to do visits yet?

tx- We haven't been able to do any visits yet. They
want us to have all the paperwork first before we visit her. But on the bright note, we did get contact information for the foster parents and we can call tonight.

[txwannabemom]

Thats great Shelly! I hope it works out soon!

As for me TODAY is the BIG day to find out if I get chosen for R! I am going to be on pins and needles until 3 o'clock!

[In_limbo_for_now]

Good luck to you both!!

[Perfect7]

Okay, Txwannabe! What's the verdict??????
We're awaiting a current psych eval that should come in today and go from there.

[Shelly77]

Txwannabe - What's your latest?

Perfect - (Gee I love that name), good luck with the psych eval. Ours is still another two weeks away.

As an update, we talked with the current foster mom tonight and we are convinced that this is a good fit and we are adopting our daughter-to-be. With as much as we know now, it would have to be a HUGE surprise in the psych eval to make us think any differently. And nobody thinks the psych eval could be that significant a difference from the foster parent opinions she shared and the previous psych evals we have already reviewed. So, we just have to wait and see now.

[txwannabemom]

bleh.
They made a choice but will tell us details by friday beacuse they need the program director to sign off on it.

So I am still anxious to the max and trying to busy myself to keep from calling my worker or R's worker every few seconds.

My worker said it went really well and she felt really good about it. I wasn't sure if she was trying to say it went REALLY well and she felt REALLY good.... or just that she was hopeful.

I will tell ya'll asap! You will probably hear me screaming from rooftops- no matter where you are!

[txwannabemom]

Originally Posted by Shelly77

As an update, we talked with the current foster mom tonight and we are convinced that this is a good fit and we are adopting our daughter-to-be. With as much as we know now, it would have to be a HUGE surprise in the psych eval to make us think any differently. And nobody thinks the psych eval could be that significant a difference from the foster parent opinions she shared and the previous psych evals we have already reviewed. So, we just have to wait and see now.

Yay! Thats great! Congrats!

[txwannabemom]

THEY PICKED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Perfect7]

YIPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, Tx!!!!!!! It's a girl! Will this be your first time as a mommy? Time to celebrate! I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS!

[Perfect7]

Shelly, I'm jealous! I'm wanting to talk to the current foster mom for updates. I think that's really the best way, and better than sifting through paperwork. I just don't think we're to that point yet. I had told you that the psych eval takes 2 weeks to write, but it didn't in this case. I think they did one fairly quickly under the circumstances and we're still waiting on it (drumming my fingers). I'm terrified thinking of adding another child sometimes and wondering how it will change everything, so slow is good. Still, I want to know everything NOW and then do a slow transition. Ha ha!