[Yash]

shy_bear,

it's like you said, you forget. My daughter's case is still up in the air, yet the thought of baby number 4 (which would be my 3rd adoption through the state) has popped into my head. A baby boy again. Then I think I'm insane. This system is insane and heartbreaking and worrisome. Yet, I look at my handsome, funny, smart, marvelous son and know that it can work out. That the pieces of the puzzle do all come together.

[tinatyme]

Originally Posted by Yash

Then I think I'm insane. This system is insane and heartbreaking and worrisome. Yet, I look at my handsome, funny, smart, marvelous son and know that it can work out. That the pieces of the puzzle do all come together.

Yash! We are exactly in the same place. You forget the anxiety and worry and begin evaluate the end results against the frustration. For example, my baby girl is such a little momma right now. Yesterday I was asking her something and she was playing with her doll. She held up her finger, said hold on, propped that baby up on her shoulder and began to pat it's back. Then she looked at me like "you can continue". I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life. And I have those moments EVERY DAY. How lucky am I? And it came through foster care and adoption. Sure, I suffered but we won and I would do it again in a heartbeat. . . and again . . . and maybe again (although at that point I might be a little insane from lack of sleep!)

Tina

[SadieJMomma]

I am still waiting for a match. I look at the "books" once a month - and have since Feburary. It amazes me- they say California has 3000 kids needing permanent homes and yet the "books" have less than 200 kids they show that are available and on track for adoption. So are the numbers inflated to draw in foster parents?

We are open to sibling groups under the age of 5. There have been several each month that we have submitted our homestudy for- but all have already been matched.
Frustrating.

Wondering if I should go foster...only I can't imagine the heart ache of having a child who was removed from a home for neglect or abuse be returned to that home. That would really be the death of me. (I could handle if a relative with a stable home situtation showed up.) But you can't pick and choose that. What is going on with the social services that they would take a child from a safe home because of mess - or that they would return a child to an abusive home because of blood?
AHHH!

Julie
1 home grown. Praying for 2-3 from CA fost-adopt

[SadieJMomma]

MATCHING PICNIC?
Has anyone gone to a matching picnic. Those in Northern California there is one on May 17th. You will want to contact your worker if they haven't contacted you.
Has anyone ever gone to one - even in another state? what was it like?

[shy_bear]

How is everyone doing??? We called our placement cw today; she said things are VERY slow right now! She said usually they pick up towards the middle of the summer. I had so been hoping by time we went on vacation we would have our new family members.

[mommacass]

Hey shy bear, we are doing OK. If you saw my foster parent/babysitter thread you know pretty much what is going on. We are also going on vacation in July, It would be Ok if I don't get any calls until after that. My boys are old enough to enjoy a family vacation finally. I would probably have to do respite if we get one too young before then. We met with our adoption worker back in late March and we have not heard from her since. I know our best bet for adopting is to receive them as a foster placement first, but so far those are not working out to well. When yall get the calls do you usually ask about relative placements for that child? What do they say?

Well hope that everyone is doing good and the reason that nobody has been on here lately is because you all have been matched and are no longer waiting.
Wouldn't that be nice (lol).

MommaCass

[rsbg]

We are still waiting..... We have submitted on 59 kids/sibling groups and NOTHING! I have faith though, that it WILL happen. We are right at 4 months of searching, so I hope it won't be too much longer!

We are currently licensed as straigt adopt. We are thinking of switching our license to foster/adopt and maybe taking low legal risk placements. Haven't fully decided yet. We are waiting to hear back on staffings for a little girl and on a sibling group of 2 girls. If we aren't chosen for them, then I think we may do the foster/adopt route.

I hope everyone else has exciting things going on with their journey. If you do, I'd like to hear about them, I could use the encouragement!

[2BoyMama]

I think I am going crazy. We've been waiting about a minute and a half and I am frustrated. I have no patience at all. I am embarrassed to admit that I called my CW and said that DH was wondering how many families were waiting. Uh, DH has not said two words about it, except to tell me all good things take time. Anyway, CW said they have 60 families, and between 5-10 waiting for placements. She said it could be several weeks or a month before we were called. As the call could be for any kiddo under 6, not necessarily our target kiddo, I was a little surprised. We're headed to a training this week so I plan on learning more from the more experienced fps there. I want somebody here now, I don't like waiting. The funny thing is, we'd be in a much better position in a month or two...dh would be home for the summer, we'd have time to arrange for daycare, the room would be done. Perhaps someone else is in charge of this timeline? Boy, do I have control issues.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my ridiculous ranting. I feel better. I hope that we all wake up to perfect kiddos on our doorsteps in the morning. Maybe they'll stop by starbucks on the way. I should be committed.

[tddjc]

SadieJMama,

I have never been, but I asked our agency about that kind of thing when we started. Out here those kind of events are frowned upon. I can't say I wouldn't go if there was an opportunity, but I totally understand how they can seem cruel to get their little hearts set up for someone to want them and then if no one does, to take it to heart that there is something wrong with them. Are you going? I would be really interested to hear your take on it firsthand if you do.

[tinatyme]

In the county I used to live in our agency had these adoption and foster celebration carnivals where they would throw a big party that would serve the double purpose of allowing foster/adoptive families to come together and have something fun to do with the children while also interacting with the older children in the county that were available for adoption.

It was a good idea but the reality was a little less successful. We always had a good time and the kids loved the carnival games, food, etc. but there would be all of these families that would identify the same child as a potential match and then they would have to fight it out with the social workers in the weeks following meanwhile there were still a lot of other children waiting.

For me it was an opportunity to talk with the social workers and reiterate that I had open spots and was waiting. We got two of our foster placements right after these events in two consecutive years.

Tina

[rsbg]

2boymama, you crack me up! I soooooo wish I would open my door tomorrow and there be my little girl and a starbucks! Who could ask for anything more????

[mommacass]

2boymama & rsbg

I think we need to start our own club. You have to have 2 or more boys and be waiting on a daughter to be a member. We could talk about all the mother/daughter stuff that we have been missing out on and of course clothes, shoes, hair... Sound good.
What could we call it, maybe " Moms 2 boys, waiting on girls club." (he he he) or maybe I should say, she she she.

Ok here is the first assignment. All these years that you have thought about having a daughter what did you imagine she would look like.
I have brown eyes and my dh has blue, both my boys have brown eyes. So I would love to say she has her daddy's eyes. When I look at the photolistings I always seem to pick out the dark haired little girls. So I think dark curly hair with blue eyes and fair skin like a little china doll.
Well I put my order in now I just have to wait for God to send her in my direction. Right, that is how it works. Yeah right, I wish but it was fun and took up some of the waiting time. Plus I need to be cleaning and I don't want to. Bye

MommaCass

[2BoyMama]

What a fun club. I am in. I am not sure I know what she looks like. My boys both have their dad's huge blue/green eyes with long lashes (dh complains that his lashes hit his glasses) and my flat ears (dh's not so much). They are built like him, long and lean. I always figured our girl would have my brown eyes, stubby lashes, curvy frame and his not so flat ears. Just her luck! So, given the opportunity to place my order, I don't know what to do I am so ready for her, all babies look gorgeous. I am even ready to love a few up and send them home, like you have MommaCass. We'll see if I live up to that claim, huh?

Here's my question for the club: do you have any girl thing that you have bought while you're waiting that you just love? I have the Pottery Barn Kids bassinet with pink gingham bedding. I have loved it for 7 years, and when dh and I made the decision that we were definitely adopting a girl, I bought it on Ebay that night. It is set up in the room, and I just absolutely love it. Even if our dd is too old for it when she joins us, I am so happy to have that symbol of her arrival.

Back to "work."

[shy_bear]

Girls are great when they are young!!! But be careful what you wish for; my oldest is 9 and the hormones are starting!!! I don't know what happened to that beautiful little baby girl who would let me put bows in her hair and would not leave my side(: Now she rolls her eyes and is already disagreeing with everything I say!!!! I so need a boy!

I got a call from a cw awhile ago. There were 3 kids, 2, 8, and 9 all still asleep on the office floor needing a short term placement. I said no b/c the oldest one was a boy and not sure how comfortable I was with that since I have two girls in the house and these kids are new to the system. I always feel guilty saying no; like they are not going to call me again b/c I said no.

[JDub]

Okay, we aren't in your new club, but I will share our foster/adopt experience. We went through IMPACT training in the fall, wanting to adopt but getting training for foster/adopt, and our study was finalized in February. Not long after we were approached by a CW from a neighboring county about a brother, S age 8, and sister F age 6. We decided to proceed after the staffing, and this past weekend we had our fourth visit, which was a weekend with the kids at our house. Things are really going good as far as the bonding, and we are excited about the prospects of adopting S and F. Now for the bad part. The BioDad, who has been incarcerated for several years, initiated a suit against the state last year. This wasn't to protest the TPR ( at least not yet),which was granted in 2005, but to protest how he was notified about the TPR. He obviously had sufficient notification, because he had a lawyer present at the TPR hearing. He had really made no efforts to abide by the case plan up to that point though. His case went to the state Supreme Court, however. The CW said that the state's lawyers were telling her that there was no way that he would win. The case was heard in January, and we have been anxiously awaiting the decision.

Yesterday, we got the news. Apparently the Supreme Court sided with the convict BioDad. Of course no one can tell us exactly what that means at this time, so DW and I are worried. I can't figure why this case would keep us from adopting the kids since he is not contesting the TPR. We still want to proceed, but it may mean that the kids are placed with us as a foster placement until the legal stuff is figured out, which makes the risk for us much greater. It is just frustrating that our legal system seems to bend over backwards to appease the criminals, but doesn't seem to care about what's best for the innocent and the children.