[kathyandmark]

Yup, it's me again. We have a county rep. who wants to meet with us at our home before MAPP classes start on March 6th. At the same time, we have info coming in the mail from a zillion other private adoption agencies, and I'm just trying to be realistic about which direction is the best for us to go. I am so thrilled that my husband wants to do this, but he is also unwilling to take a child with "known issues" (ie born drug exposed) and he is also not willing to take a chance that we would have a baby for several months and then have it taken away. So here is my question: is it even remotely possible to be able to foster/adopt an infant, preferably a newborn, where there is low/almost no risk of the baby going to RU? Or is this county rep. just going to laugh at us and leave when she comes to visit? Thanks, Kathy

[Boulderbabe]

Originally Posted by kathyandmark

is it even remotely possible to be able to foster/adopt an infant, preferably a newborn, where there is low/almost no risk of the baby going to RU?

Yes, but it's very rare. You would want to wait for a baby born to somebody who has already lost several children to the system. That's no guarantee, of course, since if the baby has a different father than the others, there may be relatives who will have priority for an adoption. But this is your best bet.

BTW: There are very, very few children coming from foster care who have "no known issues." The majority of them are either drug exposed or from families with a known history of mental illness....

[filswife]

i know around here(NH) when you fill out your application you have a very long form to fill out on what kind of child you would consider fostering/adopting. The more narrow your search, the longer the wait, of course. newborns are rare... maybe a better chance if you are ok with a sibling group. You will learn alot in the MAPP classes. infants are very rare, though.

[Bug-n-Bears-Mommy]

Yes, but it's very rare. You would want to wait for a baby born to somebody who has already lost several children to the system.

This was the case with Bug. Both he and his sister had the same parents and the first foster family did not want another. He was deemed "legal risk" and placed with us. Both parents dropped off the map by the time he was 3 months old and his adoption was finalized by the time he was 11 months.

[jodybird511]

My case was similar to Bug-n-Bears Mommy. My daughter's bio mom had had several children removed previously and the judge was pretty much done with her--she was also "legal risk." TPR happened when she'd been with us for 3 months and adoption was final when my daughter was 1 year. HOWEVER...there is ALWAYS the chance for RU. There is NO WAY to predict for certain what will happen. The "legal risk" designation is based soley on the caseworker's opinion as to what is likely to happen. There are no guarantees prior to TPR...or even after, for that matter. If you're not open to even a little risk, private adoption may be a better avenue for you and your hubby.

[mom2GRLC]

I agree, the only way to remove all the risk from foster/adoptions is to ONLY accept children who are already legally free for adoption. That way when they come in your home you know they will be yours. But it will be difficult going that route to get a young child and almost impossible to get a newborn.

Newborns usually start out as foster kids, or as legal risk adoptions and many times the foster parent will adopt them and they are given priority over everyone else on the adoption list since they have already bonded with the baby.

So if your not willing to take that risk at all and you still want a newborn or a young child then you may want to go the private adoption route.

[sethsmommy]

Keep in mind that you run risk either way. If you go private, the birthmom can change her mind after the baby is born. Here in Nevada she has 3 days to think about it. If you had helped with expenses, you may lose that money. I think that varies from agency to agency. Domestic adoption has risks on your heart. You have to decide what risk to take. If I had 20000 dollars, I would adopt internationally but that has its risks too. Also, private adoption costs a pretty penny too. About18-20 thousand from my research.

[Sunshinemom]

I know in our county Adoptions unit there is a program where mother's can relinquish their newborns immediately at birth. I know they probably have many more parents waiting in this program as they have babies born, but I do know two couples who adopted through the county this way. I think it's like any domestic newborn adoption, it's just that it's handled through the county.

[vernellinnj]

I had a newborn placed straight from the hospital. Told the case would go straight adoption as mom had lost several other kids through TPR.

Well, the newborn had a different dad who wanted and got custody of his child.

There are just no guarantees....